Page 41 of One Little Kiss
From me?
I grip the steering wheel harder as self-loathing wraps me in its grip.
“I just don’t want you to think I’ll be relying on you for rides for the rest of your life. Or any guy, for that matter.”
I don’t know what to say.
Or…I know what I want to say but I can’t say it. I can’t tell her that I don’t care that she didn’t pass her test. I don’t care that she relies on people to give her a ride. I can’t tell her that I want to be theonlyguy who gives her a ride.
I want to be the guy she relies on. The one she turns to. For everything.
Hell, there’s a part of me that wants to offer to be her lifelong chauffeur if only to see her smile and watch that dimple form and…
Holy crap, what is wrong with me?
And the fact that I don’t just want to say it. Imeanit. Everything in me knows that I want to be her guy. I want to be the only guy in her life.
I don’t know how long I’ve felt this way because it’s so obvious now, I’m starting to wonder if I’ve always felt this way and just never let myself admit it.
Holy. Freakin’. Crap.
It’s a wonder I don’t crush the steering wheel, I’m gripping it so hard.
And I don’t respond. I’m too afraid of what will come out of my mouth if I open it. So I stay stupidly quiet as I pull up to her house, as she flies out the door like she’s on her way to put out a fire…
I don’t say anything. Not until I see her disappear inside her house. And then when I talk, it’s to myself, my voice filling my empty car. “Oh man. I am in so much trouble.”
ELEVEN
Noelle
I lovemy friends dearly but the closer we get to the victory dance this weekend, the more I’d love to run from them.
“Are you going with the pink dress?” Mara asks Celia.
I pretend to be paying attention. Normally I’m totally cool with talk of dresses. Actually, normally, I’m the one leading this conversation.
I am not my mother’s daughter for nothing.
But after yesterday’s weirdness with Elijah, I am sonotin the mood. Because while these two are getting ready to have a romantic date night with their boyfriends, I’m getting ready to have a friend date with Elijah.
Which should be fine. It should be great.
I frown down at my yogurt. So why isn’t it great?
“Noelle?” Celia says my name in a way that makes me think it’s not the first time she’s tried to get my attention.
I lift my head to find Celia and Mara staring at me. They’re both wearing looks of mild surprise, and there’s a little concern there too.
I force a grin. “Sorry. I totally zoned out. What were you saying?”
“Ryan’s splurging on a limo,” Mara obviously repeats herself. “Did you and Elijah wanna come with us?”
“Oh, um…” It’s not difficult to envision the two happy couples tucked into the back of a limo and then…us.
Me and Elijah sitting together like we’re just another couple.
I’m shaking my head before I can come up with a good excuse. “Nah. I don’t think so. Thanks, though.”
