Page 64 of Getting the Grinder
“Here it is,” Lainey says from nearby. “And water.”
“I’m putting a pill in your mouth,” Bash says.
I open my lips and he drops it in.
“Take some water,” he says.
Water spills from the bottle onto the couch as he tries to get it into my mouth. I move my head to make it easier and swallow the pill.
“Keep breathing,” Carter says.
Once my breathing is under control, the pain lessens. I take a minute to get myself together before I sit up.
All four of my friends are giving me concerned looks. Bash and Lainey are standing together, his arm around her, and Carter and Suki are standing with Darling between them. Even the pig looks worried.
“I’m okay,” I say, embarrassment setting in. “I have anxiety and depression and I take medication for both. That medication I just took helps me with anxiety attacks.”
Carter furrows his brow. “How long has this been going on?”
I exhale deeply, scrubbing a hand down my face. “The anxiety and depression, around ten years. The medication, in the past year.”
“Oh, Leo.” Suki comes over and sits down next to me, putting a hand on my back. “I’m so glad you got help.”
I can’t even look at any of them. I feel like I just changed the way they’ll see me forever.
“You didn’t want us to know,” Carter says.
I scoff. “Yeah, it fucking sucks. I had an anxiety attack after a game last year and Caroline spotted it. She made me start seeing a psychiatrist.”
“Does it help?”
“Yeah. The meds and therapy help, but they don’t just take it away.”
“Everyone goes through shit like that,” Carter says. “Anyone who says they don’t is lying. I’m here anytime you want to talk.”
“Yeah, me too,” Bash says. “That was scary as shit, man. I hate that you thought you needed to go through that alone.”
“I didn’t want you guys to see me differently.”
“That’ll never happen,” Carter says. “We’ve been through too much together.”
I nod, my worries for Mara returning full force. “Mara knows, and she still—” I can’t speak past the lump in my throat. “I need her to be okay.”
Now I’m crying, for fuck’s sake. The only embarrassing thing left to do in front of my friends is to shit my pants—that’s probably next.
Suki leans against my shoulder. “I know. She’s—” She jumps away from me, scrambling to pull her cell phone from her pocket. “Hello? This is she ... okay.”
We all stare at her in complete silence. Her eyes are wide with fear. If Mara’s not okay, I’m going to find the guy who hurt her and make him pay. I don’t care about the consequences.
She was just doing her job. She was trying to help a woman escape her abuser. That guy needs to try taking a swing at me so he can find out what it’s like to be outmatched.
“Okay,” Suki says. “Thanks for the update. Call me as soon as you know anything.”
She ends the call.
“They know where she is. She’s at the home of the guy who sent her the email.”
“Fuck.” I stand up, putting my hands on my head. “Why haven’t they gone in to get her? Where is it?”
