Page 63 of Inevitable Love
“Whatever, dude. I love nature and being outside. You should know, you’ve been trolling my socials.”
My cheeks heat at being busted, but the mention of her socials blasts the post-hike photo of her and Maggie smiling to the front of my mind.
I’m on the verge of asking about Maggie when tones drop in the background on the other end of the line. Kate sighs. “That’s us. But hey, it was good to hear your voice. And Kermie, they haven’t filled your spot here permanently. Maybe talk to Collins and see if you can come back.”
There’s a flurry of commotion over the line as the door slams and Leo calls en route over the radio, the drone of the engine, the echo in the bay. The familiar sounds, call signs,and lingo put me right back in that station in small-town Georgia, so much so that her use of my stupid-ass name doesn’t grate as much as usual.
“Hey, thanks for calling, Kate.”
“Yep. Later, jackass.”
The line goes dead before I get another word in, but that mental image of her and Maggie is stuck in my brain.
I want to call Mags, just to hear her voice. Maybe that will fix this giant hole in my chest.
The sun is still high in the sky, and it’s a beautiful day, but I’m lost in what might be happening on the other side of the country. It’s been weeks since I’ve talked to her. The longest few weeks of my life.
I pull up her contact info and get lost reading through the text chains. Smiling at the jokes, at her snarky comebacks, at the racier messages once we gave in and accepted the physical attraction.
But it’s more than that. It’s been more than that for a long time.
There are real feelings involved, and they are written plain as day in the tone of those messages.
She’s always cared for me. Always asked me how I am, always checking in. And the absence of her in my life is more than I can stand. She was the reason I needed to find the best memes and videos to send her. The reason to research and plan adventures.
It wasn’t only about me training.
It was about hiding away to spend time alone with her. I’m not sure when it changed and went from friends to something more. But it did. And I was too stupid to realize…
Now that I’ve imploded my life, though, it’s obvious as fuck that the bright part of my world was anything that had Maggie in it.
Maybe Captain Hale is right. Maybe it’s not about the job. Maybe what’s missing from this program are the people who made life worth living. But am I really about to blow a hole in the goal I’ve been striving for all this time? Throw away this opportunity?
I glance around the barren room like it’s my first time seeing it.
What the hell am I even doing? Why is there any decision to be made when I know in my soul this isn’t where I’m supposed to be. This isn’t reallymydream. Maybe it once was out of some obligation to a kid I couldn’t save, but he’s gone.
Me? I’m supposed to be helping Maggie try out recipes, helping Cal build whatever next big idea Jules has, harassing Kate and Leo about stupid shit.
The realization hits me with the force of a kick. Hell, even my partner is still open. It’s like a glaring neon sign.
I need to go home. Need to be there for my sister and meet her girlfriend. Need to make amends to all the people I’ve let down. Need to apologize to Magnolia and beg her forgiveness for leaving, beg her to let me back into her life.
With shaking fingers, I unlock my phone and tap out a quick message to the last person I thought I’d ever reach out to. My phone rings immediately in response.
“Hey, Chief.” I swallow reflexively, trying to sort out how to even start this conversation.
“Jackson, how’s it going with the new program.” Chief Collins’s growly voice is a thing that makes heads turn. It’s also another comfort. Something normal and familiar.
I’ve been chasing a high all this time, but normal and familiar somehow feels so much better right now.
“Honestly? It’s not.” The admission shocks me probablyas much as my text shocked him. But it feels right at the same time.
“Talk.” He has always cut straight to the point. A quality I don’t think I’ve respected until right this moment. Somehow, the command loosens the hold I’ve kept on all the ways I’ve let myself down, let others down.
I shove my nerves aside and talk. Bracing myself for an instant rejection, I tell him the truth and then voice the real question. “Is there any possibility that my old job is still available?”
By the time we’re done chatting, I’ve got a smile on my face.
