Page 54 of Inevitable Love
He knewT.J.
HeknewT.J. It makes perfect sense that he would. It even makes sense that he’d be the one trying to save him.
But that also means he knew who I was talking about when we had our little heart-to-heart after that first night. And even though he’s known all along, he’s never once mentioned it. Reality tunnels to just me and Jackson, who won’t meet my gaze. And my heart shatters.
“Why?” I’m not sure if I’m asking why he kept this from me, or why I didn’t ever realize it? Or why he didn’t save T.J. that night.
“’Scuse me,” he mutters and backs away. He spins on a heel and stalks out of the room. Confident and sure and being a complete jackass.
Chapter Twenty-One
Jackson
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Fuck that video. Fuck that guy who reminded me and everyone else that I was the last to see T.J. alive. Double fuck him for destroying my last night with Maggie.
My shoulder blades are on fire, either from the weight of Maggie’s gaze, or from trying to hold myself in check as I stride to the exit.
I can’t get out of this fucking place fast enough. Can’t get away from that disbelieving look on Maggie’s face. Can’t get away from this reminder of my most epic failure in life.
I burst through the exit into the cool autumn night like the hounds of hell are after me. The banquet hall parking lot is still packed. Every jackass who graduated in those five years must’ve decided this was the year to attend a reunion. Good news for Alice—and for Maggie too, I guess. Not so much for me.
I try to inhale, try to soak in a calming breath like I’veseen Maggie do when her heart rate gets too high and she’s ready to freak out.
Twelve hours. That’s all I have to get through before I head west.
To hell with it. As soon as I get home and get my Jeep loaded, I’m out of here. I’ll grab a hotel somewhere, because I can’t stay in this town for another second.
I find my Jeep in the crowded lot and then speed off, knowing I’m leaving the only good things in my life behind.
My phone buzzes in my pocket. Alice calling. I hit ignore on the dash display, but it immediately buzzes again. And again. I don’t have the energy for my sister—or anyone else, for that matter. I’ll call her tomorrow. Or the next day. Or in a few weeks after I complete this training.
When I reach my apartment, I turn my fucking phone off. There’s nothing to say and no one I want to talk to right now.
I’m hauling the last of my bags into the Jeep when a sharp bark of feminine laughter stops me in my tracks.
“So you’re just going to bail?” Maggie steps around the side of the Jeep. Fuck, I’m so distracted I didn’t even notice her there. “Is that what this is?”
“Mags—” I swipe a hand down my face, trying to wipe away the vision of her haunted, hurting eyes. It doesn’t help—she still looks like she might burst into tears at any moment. I’ve never seen her with this stricken look on her face, nor with angry, flashing eyes.
“Nuh-uh. Don’t you pet-name me.” Her nostrils flare as she takes a moment to inhale. “You were going to bail and ride off without a goodbye, without an explanation for whatever that was back there. Weren’t you?”
It’s the wobble in her voice that does me in. There’s nogetting words past this wedge in my throat, but I grit my teeth and try to swallow anyway.
“You wanna know what I think?” she bites when I offer no reply. “I think you’re not the man I thought you were. I think you’re a coward who runs around playing at being a hero when it’s convenient and you can get all sorts of accolades. You’re Kermit Jackson, firefighter superhero. The first to put his life on the line. The first to do the stupid shit just to feel an adrenaline rush. But when it comes down to the hard stuff, you’re shit scared of people finding out that you aren’t as brave as you pretend to be. You’re an emotionally stunted coward. Otherwise, you would’ve mentioned that you knew about T.J. Why didn’t you tell me you were there?”
She stares at me, chest heaving, eyes glistening. Maybe I should’ve been more open, but she would’ve shut things down between us in a heartbeat had she known the truth. Maggie’s been an expert at avoiding the hard things. And if I’m honest, I am too. I steel myself against going to her to hold her and apologize for all the ways I’ve let her down. But it’s no use. She’ll never forgive me for not saving him.
“You’re not going to say a damn word, are you?”
My fingers fist involuntarily to keep from reaching for her as I remain frozen, ensnared by the emotion shining in her eyes. It rips my heart in two.
A heartbeat passes. Two.
The night is so quiet, even the nighttime insects have been stunned speechless by her outburst. And me? I’m the coward she accused me of being. But she’ll see. Once I’m gone, her life will go back to normal. She’ll find some other guy to take her hiking, to push her out of her comfort zone, to get her out of her head and make her experience all the things she says she’s afraid to try.
