Page 96 of Flat Out
Truth was, I loved it. Loved holding her like that, both of us exhausted and recovering from our own battles, no pressure to be anything other thanus. But it didn’t stop the pressure in my chest from intensifying when I realized she was holding something back.
I tried to tell myself she was just tired, that I was overthinking. I was feeling a million times better myself. Still a dull headache if I stood too fast, still tender ribs, still sore shoulders, but all in all, it wasn’t much worse than racing with a hangover and a bruised ego.
Okay, I was lying to myself, and I think I knew it. But I needed to get back in the car, to prove I was still worth something while I’d been withering away as an outsider in this sport.
Aurélie’s stride was lighter than usual, maybe a little too careful. Her breathing was steady, but shallow. She was pushing through something, a pain she wouldn’t admit to. I’d spent my whole life learning the language of pain, and I knew the signs. It frustrated me, knowing she was ignoring it the same way I was ignoring the throb in my ribs every time my foot struck the path.
The quiet stretched until it felt like a wall between us. Finally, I broke it.
“Your team sent in another submission last night,” I said. “For practice today.”
Auri didn’t look at me. “I know.”
“The adjustments they made will give the same results as Austria. Brake bias, packers, dampers—all of it. You can’t keep pretending otherwise.”
“I’m not pretending.” Her voice was clipped, focused on the trail ahead. “I’m waiting. The cameras are everywhere this week. You know whatOff the Gridwill do if they catch even a whiff of this. I need more evidence before I go to the FIA.”
“More evidence?” I snapped, agitation bleeding into my voice. This was reckless andstupidfor her to ignore. “How much more do you need? You could barely walk after Austria, and you’re still flinching every time you move.”
That made her glare at me, her face red, not just from the run. “Don’t start with me, Callum. You arenotone to talk.”
“You want to talk about me?” I scoffed. “Fine. I’ve been cleared to race. I’m not missing Silverstone. We talked about this.”
“No, we didn’ttalk. Wedisagreed. You’re not ready,” she shot back instantly, turning to face me. “You’re still squinting the second daylight hits your eyes. You flinch every time a door slams. I saw you doing extra stretches last night when you thought I was sleeping, and you’re acting like that doesn’t matter because you can’t stand Tobias in your car.”
“Because itismy car.” My voice rose, the words rougher now. “It’s my career, my fight. I can’t sit out again.”
“Oh, so now there’s a double standard in our relationship?Yourcareer,yourfight? What aboutmine? You’ve injected yourself into every aspect of my life, and I let you. So why aren’t youletting me?”
The accusation gutted me. Not because she was wrong per se, but because she was right. Ihadforced my way into every corner of her life. But it wasn’t about control. It was about survival.
“You think this is about letting you?” My voice cracked, fury laced with panic. “I’m trying to keep you alive, Aurélie. You nearly collapsed getting out of that car in Austria, and I can’t—” My throat closed around the words, images slamming back into me. The tremor in her hands as she tried to detach her wheel, her slow movements, the weakness in her voice over the radio. My chest seized, my lungs screaming with each breath that sawed out of me. “I can’t just stand by while you pretend it’s fine. It’snotfine.”
Her pace quickened, anger propelling her forward. “And what about me? You think I don’t know what it’s like to climb into something unsafe every damn weekend? You think I don’t know my car is trying to kill me?”
“Then stop driving the bloody thing!” The anger tore through, an unrestrained shout that ripped out as I came to a stop. “Christ, Aurélie, pull over before it fucking kills you.”
She stopped dead in her tracks, spinning toward me, eyes blazing. “And what, let them win? Let Morel win? That’s not who I am, Callum, and it’s not who you fell in love with. Don’t you dare ask me to be less than what I am just because it makes you nervous.”
My chest heaved, pain sparking in my ribs with every breath, but I couldn’t stop. “And don’t you dare act like you’re invincible, because you’re not. I did thesame goddamn thingand look where it got me!” I waved my arms around like it would help prove my point, but really I just felt like a mad man. “You’re the most brilliant, stubborn, reckless woman I’ve ever met, and one day that car is going to?—”
“Going to what?” she cut in, voice trembling with fury as she threw her hands in the air. “Explode? Burn? Kill me like it almost killed you? I know, Callum. Ilivewith that fear every time I strap in because I watched the same fucking thing happen toyou! You don’t need to remind me.”
The words lodged in my throat, strangling me. All I could do was stare at her, chest heaving, sweat dripping down my spine.
Her hands curled into fists, then slowly unclenched, as if even her body was exhausted by this fight. “If you don’t take care of yourself, there won’t be a future for us,” she said quietly. Her voice shook, but the conviction behind it didn’t.
My heart hammered so hard it strangled me, my vision tunneling as that nightmare clawed its way back into my skull. Her in white, a baby in her arms, Morel’s car barreling straighttoward them. The sick replay of Spielberg—her head dropping in defeat, body collapsing against the halo. I saw it all again, and the panic made my voice raw.
“How can there be a future for us if you kill yourself by climbing back into that car?”
She shook her head sharply, tears springing but refusing to fall. “Do you even understand what I’m fighting for? If I pull over, if I cave, if I show weakness for even one second, Luminis will toss me aside for the reserve and I’ll loseeverythingI’ve been working for. Then no one wins.” She swallowed, voice cracking as something darker slipped through. “Because it’s not just the car trying to take everything from me. My body already has.”
I had nothing left to say. No defense, no argument. Just the echo of her words that hit me like a tsunami. That last sentence sounded broken, and part of me knew that it wasn't just about racing. But before I could unravel what she meant, she turned away, her shoulders rigid, running down the path faster than before.
I stayed rooted where I was, every bruise in my body throbbing in time with my heartbeat. Watching her disappear down the trail felt worse than Tobias wrecking my car, worse than any crash I’d ever had, because I wanted to chase after her, but Icouldn’t.
Because this time, I wasn’t sure how to fix it.
