Page 54 of Chase
“Then let’s get you some,” she says and squeezes me against her so tightly she definitely hears my stomach growl. “But let’s get you some food first.”
After drinking a cup of coffee that was roughly the size of my head, splitting a chocolate croissant, and a cinnamon-swirl muffin with Evie, I feel a bit better. Before Evie left for class, she made me promise to meet her in front of the Wellness Center to sign up for some counseling.
I’ve been relying on my cutting to take away all the nasty feelings I’ve been having lately, but it hasn’t been enough… and that’s how I know things are starting to get outta hand.
I cut my thigh deeper than I thought I had after my pitiful solo. I didn’t mean to, I never had any intention of putting myself in danger but it was too easy for me to tear into my skin yesterday.
I’m physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. I’m running on fumes. I stopped therapy before the start of last semester and I thought I could manage on my own, but I need some help… which is why we’re here now.
I was surprised when there was a spot open when we walked in. I looked over at Evie and she nodded her head and I knew there was no turning back. I got light-headed with how quickly my nerves hit when the counselor took me back to her office.
I was open and honest and told her why I was there. I explained how last night had me hitting a low point. That cutting now felt like a first choice instead of a last resort. She listened and her soft smile had me sharing way more than I expected.I felt comfortable talking and set up a couple weeks worth of appointments.
I fiercely hug Evie, thanking her for today before we break apart. I’ve got just enough time to make it to the HH office. I send her a wave before scurrying down the path. While walking, I shoot off a text to Davis to let him know that I’m back on track.
ME:
I just left therapy. I went with Evie to the Wellness Center and got it all sorted out.
DAVIS:
Proud of you, Sloaney.
Fresh start.
He’s right, this is a fresh start. My therapist said the same thing when I penciled myself into her calendar and I want to believe them both.
I swipe out of my messages when I hear my name being shouted from behind me. I don’t recognize the voice, and stop and turn around to see who on earth it could be.
“I can’t believe my luck running into you,” Will says effortlessly as he approaches me. He’s got a blinding smile on his face and his eyes are bright. There isn’t one piece of hair outta place on his gelled head but he reaches up and pushes it all back anyway when he says, “It’s like it’s meant to be.”
“And what’s that?” I ask him.
“You and me.” He’s got this confident way about him that doesn’t waver when he moves in close. His gloved hand reaches up and cups my face, “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the first time I saw you. And watching you last night, I knew I had to ask you out.”
Of all the things for him to say, I wasn’t expecting it to be that. I stay perfectly still and don’t lean into his palm. I don’t feel a thing which is odd since I feel just about everything all the time. It’s refreshing; like drinking a cold glass of lemonade on a hot day.
“Did ya now?”
“Come to this party we're having tonight,” he pleads before continuing, “Come on beautiful, say yes, one of my New Year's resolutions is to go after what I want, don’t let me crash and burn here.”
I don’t miss the irony between what he’s asking me and what I tried to do last night. I went after what I wanted and ended up in a fiery crash. It’s the worst.
“I’ll come but I’m bringing a friend to this party,” I tell him and he’s now smiling so hard I’m afraid his face will get stuck.
“Whatever the lady wants.” He pulls out his phone and asks for my number before sending me a text. He’s Hollywood handsome but I don’t have an ounce of fluttery anticipation thinking about what it’ll be like going out with him.
From what I’ve heard, frat boys at Havenwood aren’t looking for relationships and I’m not looking for a one-night stand. He’ll lose any and all interest the first five minutes at this party. He’ll be fine.
He slips his phone into his coat pocket, hooks his finger behind the knot of my belted jacket, and pulls me into him. His warm breath hits the shell of my ear.Still nothing.
“See you soon, beautiful,” he whispers. He takes a step to the side before walking away. I don’t turn around, I take a second to do an internal inventory and still feel absolutely nothing. I’m not yearning for him to stay and I definitely don’t see myself counting down the minutes until he texts me. I feel completely numb and am wholly convinced it’s a side effect of my newly adopted clean slate.
That is until I turn myself around and get caught in the crossfire of two burning brown balls of fury that remind me of fiery meteors. They strike me down where I stand, and I swear the impact of his stare is enough to jumpstart my heart.And remind me of every feeling I have for him.
Chapter Twenty-Five
IMOVEthrough my editing assignments and focus on uploading pieces to the app that are scheduled to go live this weekend. I force smiles when people stop by my desk to chat about the show and try to stay busy to avoid more talking than I have to.And to distract myself from thinking about that crazy look he had in his eyes when he saw me talking to Will.
