Page 5 of Chase
“You took shit too far, you owe Red an apology. Stop being a dick,” Max challenges him and A nods in agreement. He doesn’t need to use his words, his face says it all. I appreciate it. We’re family. Brothers. Teammates. Linemen. But Monroe fucked up. He needs to apologize.And then I need to get the fuck outta here.
“Did ya’ll get hit in the head too much at practice today? What on earth has gotten into you boys? Feel free to keep at it,but I’m going to go enjoy my supper elsewhere. Evie, honey, I’ll see you at home,” Sloane says and picks up her things to leave.
I don’t want her to go but I also don’t want her to stay if she’s uncomfortable.Fuck him for doing this to her.I shouldn’t have sat down so close to her. That damn angel shakes her head in agreement. I shouldn’t have been so obvious about it.
I’ve been wasting away after weeks of not seeing her and got lost looking at her.
Monroe gently grabs her arm to stop her, “I’m sorry to have upset you, Red. I was just trying to nudge him towards you,” he says and smiles at her with a look that gets him whatever he wants from whoever he wants.
She turns and looks down at his hand on her, shakes it off, and responds with her head held high “Bless your heart darlin’ but your meddlin’ isn’t needed. I don’t need a man who needs nudgin’,” she meets my gaze, which tells me so many things without any words.
I take one last long look at her, not giving a single fuck who notices.I want you so fucking bad, I just can’t have you.I say to myself and wish the words would jump from my head to hers as I try to silently spill my guts. So she’d understand. So she’d know why I act this way with her.
She’s playing with the feather necklace she always wears. She’s clutching the pendant in her fist as she stares back.Don’t look at me like that gorgeous, I can’t take it.
“I told you guys, a chain saw wouldn’t get through the tension between these two.” Jake smacks Monroe across the back of his head again while the rest of the team goes back to their dinner. I nod my chin to her, acknowledging her exit. She doesn’t so much as spare me another damn glance.
“I’m going to check on her, give me a few minutes,” my sister says while she stands up. She places her hand on Max’s shoulder keeping him in place. He frowns up at her but she’s not lookingat him. Instead, she’s glaring at me. “You really should be the one going after her right now,” she says with an icy tone before walking off. Max’s intense frown is now burning into me and I shake my head.
“You should be pissed at him, he started this shit. Not me,” I tell him and cross my arms over my chest.
“And you should be the one to fucking make it right,” Max says to me and I roll my eyes. He doesn’t understand. None of them do.I’m not good enough for her. Don’t they see that? Isn’t it obvious to them?
My appetite is long gone and there’s no fucking point of sitting here any longer. I need to get the hell out of here. I slide my tray into the middle of the table, someone will eat my uneaten food.
“Where the hell are you going now?” A says when I stand up.
“I’m leaving,” I tell him. I’m angry with Monroe, agitated that she left embarrassed, and aggravated with myself that I put myself in this goddamn position.
I walk away toward the exit. I need to run this out. My body is screaming at me to move faster and farther away. I feel itchy all over. I need to feel something else. Anything but this goddamn anxiety. I need the pain. I need to scratch it all away.
I see her and B sitting by the window overlooking campus and our eyes lock over my sister’s shoulder. The tension drains from my body the longer I stare. Those honey colored eyes soothing the burn I feel in my throat all the way down to the pit of my stomach.
B’s back is to me and it’s not lost on me that she’s the wall between us. A wall I built that’s full of cemented bricks stacked high. The angel on my shoulder is all too proud of herself for engraving every reason why I need to stay away from those bricks. I swear she’s smirking as she adjusts her halo.
I push the door open and start to jog. I can’t help but smile when the devil excitedly whispers, “she’s bbbbbaaaacccckkk.”With each step I take my smile grows knowing I’ll be seeing her again and can get my hits of her. Small daily doses to keep the vow I made to myself in place. I can’t break my promise, I can’t have the girl of my dreams, I can’t hurt my sister again; but I can keep watching.
Chapter Two
SATURDAYS AREsacred and I spend mine following my routine to a tee. I like things in order and try to maintain a sense of control. I need it. I crave it like honey on a biscuit. It’s how I best function and after some personal ups and downs over the years, I know this about myself.
I’m a planner down to the last detail. I build in flexibility to my schedule for the, “just in case” moments, but try to avoid them if I can. I have trouble dealing with my feelings when Idon’t see things coming. Best to keep things front and center where I can see ‘em.
When my alarm goes off, I sit up in my bed and grab my phone off my nightstand. I've been up for ages in anticipation of today and the weekend. I’ve got a busy day ahead of me starting with my rec kickboxing class, and ending with me going with Evie to this football house party.
I’ve also got to oversee my twin brother’s move later this morning. After that terrible NCAA recruiting scandal at Southern University last semester with their football coaching staff, Davis high-tailed it out of there. He’s an official Havenwood Devil now, although he’s never needed the label to play the part. He may have a heart the size of the moon but he’s always had a wild streak.
I’m happy he’s here. Truly, I am. When he called me up to tell me he had everything squared away to transfer to Havenwood, I was surprised at first. From what I gather, they have a good football program but I hadn’t heard Davis talk about becoming a Devil before. He shrugged it off when I asked him why he wasn’t signing on to play at some other big D1 school.
I’ve got a sneaky suspicion he chose Havenwood to keep an eye on me. I know he started to really worry after everything fell apart at UGA. At the time, he was insistent that I get my butt to Southern so we could sort it all out.
He knew I was hurting myself but couldn’t do much with us at different schools. He was cranky when I chose Havenwood without ever stepping foot on campus but it’s worked out okay so far. I’ve gotten Evie and a new group of friends.
“Aren’t ya happy I’m comin’ to Havenwood, Sloaney?” he had asked with so much care and affection in his voice, that it sent a big ball of fiery guilt straight to the pit of my belly.
I’m convinced that he’s really here to keep an eye on me and it makes me sick to think about him ruining some greatbig football opportunity somewhere else to be here instead. It’s eating away at me and I place a hand over my stomach to soothe the nausea that’s bubbling up in there.
Davis will do everything a loving big brother would do, and truth be told, it’s got my nerves frayed. I just know he’s going to start counting bandaids and asking questions. He’ll start snooping around for scissors and razors. He’ll make sure I’m eating more than lettuce leaves and cherry tomatoes, which I do now that I’m out from under Mama’s thumb and our chef’s ridiculously restrictive meal plan that she insisted I follow.
