Page 29 of Chase
“Say you’ll go. Say you’ll commit to yourself and to getting better. That you’ll come back to the ice and your team with your head in the game. We want you to feel your best, son. You’re worth it, Chase. Do you know that?” A lump forms in my throat and I swear to the hockey gods above, if I cry in front of my fucking Coach, I’ll string up my own balls with my skate laces.
“I’m really not though. You sure you don’t want to just cut me?” My eyes are wet and I try to blink the moisture away. It’sall too much. He’s wrong… I’m not worth it, doesn’t he see that?Just take the out, Coach…cut me loose.
“Fuck no, you’re my leading scorer, there’s no way I’m cutting you. Hear my words, Chase, I’m not giving up on you, not as my player or as a person. I’ll say it again, you deserve to feel your best and I want to help you get there. Let me.”Fuck Fuck Fuck.
My goddamn eyes are leaking and I wipe my face. The stubble on my jaw is creeping up on my cheeks and I use my sweatshirt sleeve to wipe my nose. It smells like dried sweat and I think there’s dried blood from the fight I got into Saturday night. I guess I’ve been wearing it since then.Damn, I really am a mess.
“Will you think about it?”
“Yeah, Coach, I’ll think about it,” that’s honestly all I can say. I need to let all of this settle and think about what I want to do. Today’s the first day of the new semester and it feels like this could be a good thing.Maybe.I’m not sure yet.
I spent the rest of Monday laying face down in my bed and skipped my first class of the semester. I didn’t move until my bladder was about to explode and resorted to taking piss after piss in empty water bottles. The bathroom felt too far away.
When my stomach was threatening to eat itself, I felt around my bedside table and found a half open bag of popcorn and a brown banana to scarf down.
I stayed in my hovel until 9PM when I got up to go for a run. The walls of my room felt like they we’re closing in on me and it was hard to breathe. I needed to make a break for it.
I’ve been thinking about Sloane for hours and I’m white knuckling the urge to go find her now that it’s night time. It’s gotten to the point that the damn angel is throwing her hands up and shooing me away. The devil is literally dragging me out of the house.
It doesn’t take long for me to find her. I had an idea of where she would be after checking her socials. I ran a few miles and looped back to campus before finding a spot. I’m jogging in place and keeping my body moving near the performing arts building until her dress rehearsal finishes up.
Watching her walk through those doors has me instantly feeling better. I’m finally able to take that breath my body was craving when I was hiding in my room. She takes an unexpected detour to the library and I wait outside.Take as long as you need, gorgeous girl, I’ll be right here.
I check my smart watch and hate that it’s so fucking late and she’s alone. Since B’s attack, campus security has ramped up but still, it’s all the more reason for me to stay nearby. I’ll wait all night if I have to. There’s no way I’m letting her walk home by herself in the goddamn dark. There can be creepers out here for fucks sake.
When she walks through the library doors, she’s with Edison for a few moments before she walks down the paths to her apartment. I feel lighter the longer I’m near her. It’s like she’s lifting some of the heaviness Coach laid on my shoulders during our meeting.
I don’t want to fucking do therapy. I’ve tried it and it didn’t work. I also really don’t like that him and my team are talking about me. I’ve tried to keep the focus on my sister and not my shit. They shouldn’t be paying any more attention to me than necessary.
The light breeze sends her scent straight into my nostrils and it wakes up my dick. She smells like all my favorite things. I’m starting to crave her more and more.I’m a fucking fiend.
I tuck around the oak tree and crouch behind a few big bushes to keep me hidden away before I drop down to my haunches. I look up at her window and the light’s on. The smile that takes over my face is fucking instant.
I see movement and she peeks her pretty head out and looks over campus. She feels me. I know she does. She looks right down at the spot I’m hiding in and looks relaxed. Content.Fucking beautiful.
I’m lost in my head and surrounded by wild thoughts. Dirty fucking thoughts. I press down on my hard dick and have to swallow a groan. I need to get the fuck outta here.
I make sure no one's around and slip away to bolt home. My feet are fucking killing me and I feel the familiar burn in my heels. I grind my teeth together and push harder, thinking of her the whole time.
I’m prepared to ignore everyone and beeline for my room but the house is surprisingly empty.
I drop back into my bed and think about the night she slept in here. Right in this bed. She wore that dark green lace nightie and looked like she stepped off a fucking runway. She was so goddamn beautiful with her angelic face and that sinful body.
My dick is throbbing now. I haven’t been with anyone since that August afternoon when I met her. I shimmy out of my sweatpants and give myself a few firm pumps. I smear the drops of precum over my dark red cockhead. I’m so keyed up thinking about her that it only takes a couple of minutes before I cum all over my damn hand.
I’m laying in the dark in a post orgasm haze, and smile for the first time in days. My fix of Sloane tonight hit different and has me falling asleep and dreaming of warm whiskey eyes and forgetting about everything else that happened today.
Chapter Eleven
ISLEPTuntil my alarm went off for my 4AM run. The euphoric feeling I went to sleep with has lifted and I’m back to my damn bleak reality. I stretch out my sore arms and stiff legs and shake them out to get some blood flowing after laying down for hours.
I’m still wearing the same sweatshirt I was when I met with Coach, but the musty stench isn’t enough for me to change my clothes. I stuff my phone into my hoodie pocket and grab my keys before leaving my room. I’ve stopped bringing ear buds, itdoesn’t matter if I’m listening to anything anyway. The fucked up thoughts in my head drown out any music.They’re also louder than a live Metallica concert.
I don’t want to disturb anyone and try to be as quiet as I can while navigating my way down the stairs. The last thing I need is someone waking up and questioning me about my meeting.
I ignored everyone yesterday. They sent texts, called, and even Jake slipped a note under my door. What would I tell them? That Coach thinks I need to see a shrink to get my head on straight? At this level, I’m supposed to be able to check my personal life at the locker room door, and give it all on the ice. I have no idea how a therapist is gonna help me do that.
I make it to the front door undetected and jam my dirty socks into my worn out sneakers and lace them up nice and tight. I flip the lock before gently closing the door behind me and nearly scream my fucking head off when Jake, Monroe, Max, and A are standing on our front steps and walkway.
