Page 10 of Chase
“You’re strong as a Mack truck Sloaney, I just want ya to believe it as much as I do.” I need to harness my own girl power and dig deep to be good to myself and to believe what my brother says and sees. I had promised him that I would try harder but I’m still hurting myself. I just don’t know how else to handle it all.
“You know you and Mama are like oil and vinegar. Anything I can do to help?” he asks and I agree with him, but the truth is there isn’t anything he can do. As awful as our mother has been to me, she’s still our Mama. I’ll still dutifully pick up when she calls regardless of the ear full I know I’ll get. I can’t change her, I can only change how I react to her. It would be best for me to be mindful of that, too. She’s my biggest trigger.
“Alright, now for the good stuff. Anyone you’re sweet on?” I laugh before I can stop it from escaping, earning a look on my brother’s face that lets me know he thinks I’ve lost my mind. I’ve lost more than just my head. My heart’s been long gone, too.
“Well there is this one guy…” I pause not knowing what to really say since the truth will definitely lead him to believe I’m crazy.
“Who is he? He play ball?” he asks and throws a football up in the air.
“He’s a hockey player here at Havenwood.” The statement lingers and Davis knits his eyebrows together, disapproving already.
“He likes to skate around chasing after a little disk?” He says in a mocking tone and I roll my eyes. Football is king in our house with baseball a close second. Hockey is unheard of. “He any good? What’s his name?” I see the wheels turning in his head as he fishes for information.
“His name is Chase Wilton and last I heard he’s one of the leading scorers,” I offer, reaching across and snatching the spinning football before it lands effortlessly in his hands.
“Yeah, I bet he is,” he mumbles, rolling his eyes and making sure I know he doesn’t approve. “Wilton as in your friend’s…?”
“Brother, he’s one of Evie’s brothers,” I add, filling in the blanks.
“He your boyfriend?” Davis huffs out.
“No, it’s complicated. Nothin’ ya need to worry about.” It is complicated but it doesn’t have to be.
“Feel like there’s a story there, Sis. Why don’t we grab some dinner and ya fill me in?” It takes me less time to bring my twin up to speed about Chase than it does for us to get to the cafeteria. I start with last semester and up to my most recent spotting.
Hearing myself reiterate our non-story,our non-romance, makes me feel momentarily pathetic for being hung up on this guy. Davis must read my thoughts as he shakes his head.
“Sounds like a real piece of work, you don’t deserve to be strung along,” he says, adding water to the seeds of doubt already planted in my head.
“I know, but I’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet. Something in my heart is tellin’ me to hang on just a little bit longer; that he’ll be worth the wait, ya know?” I tell him and his fork falls into his dish. My brother leans back and folds his arms over his chest, staring me down with an angry look on his face.
“Sounds like this hockey player is blind if he can’t see what’s right in front of him. He playin’ games with you?” His words sting and leave a mark after hitting me square in the chest.Is that what this is to Chase? Just a game?
I immediately start analyzing our interactions, our limited conversations, and the handful of times I’ve found him in my vicinity when he thought I hadn’t seen him duck behind a building, slink through a group of students, or lean against a tree.
Is this all in my head? Have I made this out to be something it’s not? No, that can’t be right. I have to believe he feels this too, that the liquid heat in his eyes and the pounding heart in my chest are real, that it all means something. If not, I've really been a fool.Those little seedlings of doubt might as well be in full bloom now.
“The only game he plays is hockey,” I tell my brother, clinging to that reassurance for an extra painful moment, trying to convince myself it’s true.
“He comin’ tonight?” He asks. He’s never liked any of the guys I’ve been interested in and I’m already on high alert anticipatin’ their meeting.
“I’m not sure. You gonna play nice if he does?” I answer with a smile and he rolls his eyes at me.
“No promises, Sloaney. Maybe he needs me to set him straight,” he offers and I wouldn’t put it past him to give Chase a piece of his mind if the opportunity was there for the taking. The thought makes my hackles rise right up.
“No need for you to intervene on my behalf, you know I can handle myself,” I assure him. The last thing I need is these two getting nose to nose and exchanging words about me.
“I know ya can handle anything that comes your way, but as your twin, it’s always gonna be my job to fight your battles by your side.” My brother’s heart’s in the right place and his choice of words give me pause. Is Chase Wilton a battle for me?My thoughts about him are all over the place today.
I can rattle off all the reasons why this boy's got me strung up. That wave this morning, his fixed stare, and him staying close by only tighten up the knots he’s got me in. But even rope can fray, and he also holds himself back, gives me enough thread to weave together what could be, and has me second-guessing every string I’ve held onto since last semester.
“I lose ya there? Your staring at your tray like it holds all the answers,” I snap my head up and blink away my thoughts. I smile, desperate to change the course of the conversation and turn the tables on him. I need to shift the focus before my head runs off the rails.
“And you? You lookin’ to finally settle down with a nice girl here at Havenwood?” He smiles and his honey-colored eyes dance with mischief.
“Ya never know, maybe I’ll meet the love of my life or ya know, several.” He has a wide grin and I shake my head.
“Alright, cheers to new beginnings and being back together,” I’ve truly missed him and am happy he’s here even if he can be a thorn in my side. We clink our plastic water bottles together and he adds,
