Page 33 of Gage
“If you say so,” Suzanna muttered beneath her breath.
“I don’t want to talk about the louse anymore. Let’s talk about you and Gage.” Nica grinned as she grabbed the pitcher and refilled Suzanna’s margarita glass. “What’s going on with you two?”
“Me and Gage? Nothing’s going on. He’s helping me find out who really killed my husband. The Dallas police think I did it, and haven’t been looking too hard to find another suspect. Gage believes me, that I didn’t kill Steven.”
Nica reached over and squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how hard it is to lose somebody you love, and then be accused of being the one who killed them.”
“I did love Steven. He was the most amazing man. Smart, funny, always ready to lend a helping hand to people who needed it. He was my best friend. I…I miss him.”
“It sounds like he was a wonderful man. It also sounds like you cared about him, but—never mind, it’s not any of my business.”
“Go ahead, you can ask me anything. I might choose not to answer, but ask away.”
Nica took a deep breath, studying Suzanna’s face, her scrutiny seeming to look straight into her soul. Funny, she hadn’t known Nica long, but they’d already connected on a level Suzanna hadn’t found with many people. Almost like they were sisters in another lifetime.
“You said that you loved Steven, but were youin lovewith him?
The other women at the table were still chatting and laughing, talking about things their men or kids were up to, and not paying Nica and her much attention. Suzanna wanted badly to have somebody to confide in, somebody she could trust with her secrets. As close as she was with Ally, she’d never been able to really talk with her, because she’d also been a friend of Stevens, and it would have felt like a betrayal.
“I did love Steve. I met him through my stepmother, at one of her many charity events that I was required to attend. I’d just graduated from SMU and she wanted to tout her stepdaughter, the scholar who’d graduated summa cum laude. With the highest distinction, indeed. You’d think she earned the degree instead of me, she touted it so much to her circle of peers. Somehow it gave her more clout with her cadre, her posse. I’m not an extrovert, so college wasn’t exactly my favorite place. Put me in the library with a stack of books and a giant coffee and I was happy. Ask me to go to a frat party and I’d break out in hives. Probably the opposite of you. And I mean that in the best way. You are so outgoing and bubbly, everybody knows you and likes you. Me, I was pretty much a ghost on the campus, except when people learned that my stepmother was Janelle Covington.”
“Covington? You dad was Howard Covington, the man who owned Covington Entertainment?”
“Yes. Imagine that, the family who created and runs one of the biggest entertaining conglomerates in Hollywood having a nerd for a daughter. One who shunned the spotlight for academia? I wasn’t interested in attending industry parties or meeting celebrities. Most of them are nice, but they are only interested in knowing me so they could get closer to my father. It didn’t take long to figure out anybody who showed any interest in me always had an agenda, an ulterior motive.”
“Except Steven.” Nica nodded and Suzanna knew she understood.”
“Yes, except Steven. He was older than me, sixteen years to be precise. I can’t tell you how many times I heard he was old enough to be my father. He was kind to me. I always felt like the poor little girl playing dress-up, in the fancy clothes and jewelry I had to wear to the gala events. And there were lots of them. My father, as an executive and head of the studio, made it my responsibility to attend. My stepmother made sure I looked andsounded the part. I was always ‘on’ at those things, except with Steven.”
Suzanna stopped talking as the musicians strolled by, playing lively Mexican music, and the ladies clapped, encouraging them to stop by their table, performing with their guitars and maracas. The tune was upbeat and recognizable, and everyone laughed and joined in, clapping enthusiastically when they finished, and moved on, spreading cheer throughout the restaurant.
“I’m sure you know my husband is…was…rich. Dawkins, Inc. is a multibillion-dollar company, and Steven was hands on with every aspect. Put trusted people in positions of authority, because he couldn’t be everywhere all the time. When I met him, he was riding the razor’s edge of exhaustion and depression. He was at the top of his field and he was…lonely. I understood the feeling better than most. Kindred spirits you might say. We bonded over feeling like the outsider looking in. Over the weeks we discovered we had a lot in common.”
“And you loved him.”
“I loved him,” Suzanna met Nica’s gaze. “He was the best friend I ever had. And he felt the same. Being in love? I never felt that, as much as I wanted to. When Steven asked me to marry him, initially I said no. How could I? He deserved to be with somebody who could give him their everything, heart and soul. Somebody who would feel physical desire for him. I…didn’t.”
“Oh, Suzanna, that’s so sad. I don’t know you well, but I can tell you wouldn’t have gone into a marriage with him, not without telling him the truth. It must have been agonizing admitting you didn’t want him.”
Suzanna toyed with the napkin in her lap, debating how much she should say. She’d talked with Ally about this, only a little, because it felt like betraying Steven to talk about the intimate details of their marriage with somebody else. Talking with Nica felt different. Maybe it was because Steven was gone,or maybe Nica was simply easy to talk with, but she needed to tell somebody.
“Steven held me while I cried. I hated hurting him, telling him I couldn’t marry him. Then he told me about the woman he loved.”
Nica’s gasp had all the other women turning toward them. “Anything wrong?” Tessa’s voice was laced with concern.
“No, no, everything’s fine. Just swallowed my drink wrong. I’m okay.”
Nica covered well enough the ladies turned back to their conversations, and she whispered, “Sorry. You said Steven was in love with somebody else.”
Suzanna nodded. “He was. Her name was Mary. They met when they were in college together, their freshman year. Both young and impetuous, and crazy in love with each other. Planning to build a life together, they spent their days going to classes and working on starting their business. At night they’d make passionate love until the sun came up, and they had to go to class. Steven planned to propose to Mary, had even bought a diamond ring, though he’d had to scrimp and save for weeks to get enough for the down payment.”
“That’s romantic and actually kind of sweet. But I’m guessing things didn’t work out?”
“No. They had a big, ugly fight about Mary’s ex. He’d shown up, transferred in from a different school, and wanted to get back together with her. But Steven was jealous and he said some horrible things to Mary. Long story short, she ran off with her ex-boyfriend, eloped and married him.”
“Oh, no!”
Suzanna nodded. “Steven was heartbroken. Mary came back and apologized to Steven but, of course, at this point it was too late. She was married and he was bitter and heartbroken. He swore he’d never forgive her. And he didn’t, until she was on herdeathbed. Cancer. It was only two years after she left him, and it affected him profoundly that he’d allowed a stupid fight ruin his life. When Mary died, he swore he’d never fall in love again.”
