Page 16 of Organized Chaos
Chapter 5
“Should... should wesay something to commemorate him?”
The evening breeze played with Maya’s beachy-blonde hair. Paired with the blue of her eyes, she meshed well with the environment—the Mediterranean Sea and a sandy beach backdrop. However, it was her sea-green bohemian dress, long enough to dip into the water, that branded her as an extension of the ocean.
It was close to dusk, so the beach was deserted. There were no sailboats on the water either. Maya looked like the sole survivor on a remote island. The sight of her was calming during this dismal event. Peaceful and blue until a torrid shift turned her wild and unpredictable.
“Maybe a few words about his life,” she suggested, ripping me out of my reverie.
Too choked up from the earlier discovery, nothing noteworthy about Dad’s accomplishments came to mind. I merely stood with the urn in hand, ankle-deep in water.
“I’ll give you a moment alone,” she whispered when I failed to respond.
“No,” I hurriedly protested. “Can... can you say something?”
“Me?”
“Yes.” The peculiarity of the request wasn’t lost on me, but... “Do you mind?”
“I-I didn’t know him.”
“Anything would do, really.” I glanced at her, hoping she’d entertain my non-verbal plea. “It’s the right thing to do, but I-I can’t...” I couldn’t finish the thought.
I didn’t want to spew lies by saying only good things about Dad. I also didn’t want to speak ill of the dead. Maya didn’t know him. If she spoke positively about Dad, it wouldn’t be a farce. It was appropriate in a weird way.
Maya examined me closely instead of expressing discomfort over giving a eulogy for a stranger. She had worn the same forlorn look during our short walk to the beach.
Maya was deep in thought, evidently organizing the words in her mind. Face charred with resolve, she cleared her throat to deliver a speech so eloquent that it left me stumped.
“We are here today to celebrate the life of James Cooper—husband, father, friend.
I didn’t know him, but I do know his son. And if Brandon is any reflection, then James must have been a wonderful human being. Long after leaving this earth, his love will continue to shine through Brandon, a token of James’ most meaningful contribution to this world.
With that solace, we’ll remember James fondly, letting go of all memories filled with disappointment or hurt. With this goodbye, we heal all wounds, knowing this parting is temporary until you meet again to express all that was left unsaid during your time together.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, we commit James to earth for resurrection to eternal life.”
I didn’t dare bat an eyelid, worried that the illusion enunciating the words I needed to hear the most might disappear if I blinked rapidly.
Obviously, she was a figment of my imagination because the only way she could have read the words etched inside my heart so accurately—almost verbatim—was if I made her up. And if I conjured this consolation, I’d rather live inside the fantasy than go through this pain alone.
Hence, I measured my blinking.
Maya placed a hand on my bicep, contradicting physical reality against the mirage that might vanish. “Is there anything else you’d like to add?”
Since Dad’s death, there was an urgency to unload for the first time. I shouldn’t risk marring the perfect goodbye she had given me, but I also couldn’t run away. Not after it had become apparent that Dad never erased me the way I did with him.
