Page 20 of Organized Chaos
Where am I again?
"Brandon, wait," she pleaded.
The vulnerability laced in her tone made the hair on my neck stand out. It snapped me out of the stupor. Arduously, I ripped my mouth off her sweet-tasting skin.
It took several seconds to reclaim my ground and evoke my surroundings.
Things had escalated. Maya was pinned underneath me, dress bunched around her hips, my erection pressed against her groin.
I had lost control. Worse yet, I didn't care to regain it.
The girl had indeed drugged my mind.
“We should stop.” She pressed her forehead against my chest, voice thick with... disappointment? “It’s a bad idea to get so carried away over one weekend."
“I know our situation is complicated,” I rasped, the shuddering breaths a testament to what she was doing to me. “But we can figure this out. Returning to our lives doesn’t mean—"
“You told me yourself that you don’t do virgins,” she cut me off.
It was true.
I had vowed not to distort the image of this playful girl because even sleeping with me was a risk for fragile hearts. I was the sarcastic, unreliable guy—an asshole who ditched his prom date to get hammered with friends. The guy always leaving a trail of tears in his wake. In the past, I stood women up because I couldn’t be bothered with the trouble of sitting through a lousy meal.
But it was different with her because... it just was.
“What I said, it’s irrelevant now. It’s not like that—”
“Brandon, it’s okay.” With a heavy sigh, Maya closed her eyes. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I don’t expect anything from you, and I certainly don’t need to hear false promises.”
Using my elbows as leverage, I slightly lifted myself.
Maya only gathered information about me during the microscopic time we spent together. So, the certainty in her tone struck a nerve. To barely give this a chance, to not even entertain the possibility it could work, seemed so... premeditated.
Sure, my past was nothing to boast about, but things could be different between us. After all, weren’t all relationships a risk for heartbreak?
“Look, I understand your hesitation. All I’m saying is that this weekend doesn’t have to be the end of it all.”
“It does,” she whispered. “If we don’t stop, we’ll both regret it.”
My heart thundered as comprehension settled in.
Maya meant to say:shewill regret it.
Maya was still a virgin at her age because she was the kind of girl who waited for the right guy to indulge in sex. She had already written me off before this conversation because she had high expectations... just not from me.
I don’t expect anything from you.
The disheartening thought provoked my heart, beating madly under her palm. My body flared though my face remained placid.
Fuck. Her.
In what parallel universe was I not good enough forher.She would be so damn lucky. Was she blind to have missed the women eye-fucking me when we were out together?
I had every resource at my disposal, more money than she could ever dream of, I could have anyone I wanted. Yet, she’d rather save it for a fantasy man than give it up tome?
It was preposterous to envy an imaginary man, yet that’s how it was. Jealousy sank its ugly claws into my soul at the thought of Maya searching for a man who’d fit the bill. The idea of her looking at him, letting him touch her... touch what’s mine... oh hell!
"Ow!”
