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“Milo, oh God,” I cry out.

Milo thrusts his dick, pounding inside me. My moans bring on his own climax. Grabbing my hair with a fist, Milo lets go with a shout. “Fuck, baby.”

I slump forward, my face on his neck, as Milo slightly lifts me to pull out. I am barely aware of Milo picking me up and gently dropping me on the bed. Moving to my side, he pulls me towards him in a spooning position before pulling the comforter on us.

When awareness returns, I find Milo’s head resting against my neck, hands stroking my hair.

“That was amazing,” he murmurs with eyes closed.

He is right. I am surprised at how right he is.

I might have very complicated feelings about what we are doing. But I can’t deny the fact that sex has become amazing. Mind-blowing. Addicting.

Maybe I am just acting like a horny teenager. But I have never experienced something so powerful and mind-numbing. It stops all my worries, my self-esteem issues, my abandonment issues.

I wait for the self-loathing to come, the one that follows me after our encounters. It doesn’t. I close my eyes as the only thing I feel now is pure bliss.

CHAPTER 7

October 17th, 2015

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Raven

I am a crazy person. I am sure of it. My head feels like it's being fucked, even though my body has been taking the fucking.

Sometimes I feel like everything happening with Milo is part of my delusions. There is no way this is all real. Milo acts completely calm and unnerved in front of everyone. We still have movie nights, family dinners.

The other day, he went to my PTA meeting. He dutifully met with all the teachers. He asked my counselor a bunch of questions about my chances for FIT. Then he took me home for an "afternoon delight." He can turn it on and off while I am drowning and going insane.

Despite all the shortcomings of the new nature of our relationship, I still love having Milo's undivided attention. When we are in his room together, he coddles me. He holds me so tight like he'd never let me go. I love feeling so needed. The feeling that assures me he'd never leave me. I hate the idea of giving that feeling up, no matter what I am offering up in exchange.

And that's how I have been justifying my actions so far. That's how I sleep at night.

Till now.

Now I am faced with my reality once more. I can't justify my way out of this.

I am in the hallway that leads to Milo's room. I slept over in Milo's room last night and am currently only wearing one of his large sleeping shirts. I just woke up and was in the process of sneaking back to my room, when Mia appeared out of nowhere.

“Mia," I jump, completely surprised by her sudden appearance.

“Hey, Rave, what are you doing?"

I am dumbstruck.What am I doing?I am not close enough to the hallway bathroom door to say I used the restroom. Then again, I have my own attached bathroom in my room. I have no idea how to explain this to her. I try for a half-truth.

"Nothing. I was just saying bye to Milo."

Milo left for the weekend, and he is supposed to be gone all week.

"Oh, okay." She eyes my shirt, or Milo's shirt, and my bare legs. She doesn't say anything else.

"I am gonna go back to sleep. It's still early."

"Okay," Mia says again.

She doesn't believe me. I can see it in her eyes.