Page 72 of Better Daddy
“I’m not interested in taking on a disaster client you don’t want. Work is hard enough.”
“She’s not a disaster. She’s lovely.” Lo steps a little closer, her green slippers clashing with the pink rug. “She’s a single mom of two beautiful little girls whose ex has no interest in being a father. She’s stuck in Jersey”—she shudders just saying the word; Lo has always hated Jersey, though she’s settled in nicely now that she’s with Cal—“because this is where they were married. She has family in Vermont, and she’d have help and support there, but her ex refuses to sign off on it.”
A long, defeated sigh leaves me. “And let me guess: Brian won’t take the case because, like me, he knows it’s pointless? No judge is going to grant her request to relocate to another state, Lo. You know that as well as I do.”
She nibbles on her lip. “Can’t you just meet with her? Brian’s caseload is ridiculous. He doesn’t have the time. But I think if he did and he understood the details, he’d find a winning argument.”
God, I hate letting anyone down. And I can’t imagine what it would be like if Sully wasn’t involved in T.J.’s life. Even at our absolute worst, we always put our son first.
“Has anything been filed?” I ask.
“No.” Lo’s eyes light up with hope. Dammit. “She works multiple jobs to support her kids, and the ex-husband jets around the country with his girlfriend. He never shows up for parenting time, and she’s struggling with childcare and work. She needs help, Sloane.” My best friend’s eyes are pleading. “You know I wouldn’t ask your firm to help if we had the time to help her.”
I sigh. I hate how much they all dislike my firm. It’s so petty. I’m not interested in Will Higgins. I never was. But he’s always been a good friend to me.
“I’d probably have to convince Will. If they haven’t filed the motion, it would take a few months and—” Of its own accord, my hand drifts to my stomach, as if covering my abdomen will protectbaby bear from hearing the next part. “If I end up on bed rest or anything happens…”
Lo nods. “Of course, that totally makes sense. And if you trust Will, then I can too.”
The confidence in her tone surprises me so much that I almost forget about my impending freak-out over any pregnancy complications. Almost. But there’s no stopping the way my mood has dipped at the possibility. There’s no coming back from this swirling discomfort, so I promise Lo I’ll meet with her friend and head to bed.
Sully is already under the covers, scrolling on his phone. But when I step inside, he locks the screen and drinks me in.
I’m not wearing anything special. Just a simple Def Leppard shirt that used to be his and leggings. We both know they’ll come off, even if nothing happens tonight, since I rarely wake up with clothes on.
Do I want something to happen tonight?
I nibble on my lip. Before Lo mentioned the pregnancy and I started my spiral, I did. Truly, as I survey my husband right now—his broad, bare chest, forever my soft place to land, my solace—I want nothing more than to go to him. To be comforted by him. But since Christmas, it’s been only kisses and longing looks.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, his tone filled with concern.
I blink back to the present and shrug. “Just having a bit of a moment.”
Lips pursed, he zeroes in on me. “Do you want to be alone?”
I shake my head. I don’t know much, but I do know that.
His whole body relaxes, and he holds out one arm. “Come here, sweetheart.”
I rush toward him, and before I’ve even plopped onto the bed beside him, he’s pulling me to his chest and stroking my hair.
The sigh of relief that escapes me is instantaneous.
“Talk to me, Sloane. What’s going on? If this is about us, I can handle it.”
My heart pinches and twists inside my chest. The desperation in his tone, the dedication to getting this right, brings tears to my eyes.But his steady heartbeat instantly soothes my fears, allowing me to relax against him.
“I’m nervous.” I breathe out the words, and instantly, I’m flooded with relief. “I’m nervous about the pregnancy, about us, about work. I feel bad that I’m not shouting from the rooftops about this pregnancy. I hate that while this should be a happy time, I’m filled with all kinds of mixed emotions. It’s not fair to our child.” I glance around the room. It’s less crowded without the bunk beds, but it’s still not a big space. “Where are we even going to put a baby? And what if I have to go on bed rest?” My nerves pick up, making my breaths come quicker again. “What if I can’t work? What if I lose myself again? I don’t want to go backward, Sully. Things are good, but—” I blink back tears. “I can’t go back to who we were.”
I know the words are probably hard to hear, but I needed to say them. When I’m met with silence, I’m nervous that maybe I shouldn’t have. We had such a good date, and now I’m ruining it by dredging up the past. But when I finally get the courage to look up, he’s smiling at me.
“Why are you smiling?” I murmur. My whole body relaxes against him. If he’s smiling, then it can’t be that bad, right?
My husband’s grin only grows wider. “Because you’re talking to me. And for so long, I ached for your words.”
That—I shake my head. That can’t be true. “Really?” I ask, frowning up at him.
He nods. “There wasn’t a thing I didn’t miss about us while we were apart. But that one, feeling like you’d completely frozen me out—deservedly so—broke me in a way I wasn’t sure I’d ever recover from. Trust me when I say I’m not smiling because I think your emotions are silly. It’s the opposite, in fact. They’re completely valid. This placeisa dump.” His eyes warm as he studies my face. “And I’m scared too. I’m scared that you’ll realize you’re better off without me. That you’ll go back to New York and I’ll lose out on this chance to have my family back.” His focus drifts to my stomach, and with a pained sigh, he closes his eyes. “And I’m scared that something willhappen to you and our baby. I’m scared all the bloody time, Sloane. You are my world, and it guts me that I almost lost sight of that.”
