Page 112 of Better Daddy
I don’t understand why. Why would she want to stay here? Will has been bloody awful to her.
Now I’m frustrated. “Your mother is just trying to control you. Why are you allowing that?”
Sloane huffs. “She’s just watching out for me.”
“And I’m not?” I step back, heart in my throat and completely flummoxed. “You’re not staying here, Sloane. I’ve played along with this game for long enough. After our baby is born, you’re coming home.” I snap my mouth shut, instantly realizing that I’ve fucked up. It’s the damn incubator thing all over again.Fuck.“Wait.” I reach out for her. “That’s not what I meant.”
She pulls back. “Thisgame?” Her voice is shrill, her face now redin anger. “Is that all this is to you? A damn game?” She throws her arms out, the document rustling. “This is mycareer,Sully? My life. For years, my career has taken a back seat to yours. I gave up everything so you could advance. When is it my turn? Why do I have to be the one to give up this opportunity? Why can’t you?”
“It’s a domestic violence case.” I rough a hand down my face. “Bloody hell, the woman needs my help.”
“Oh, but the child doesn’t need mine?”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
She whips around and paces across the room, each step a staccato beat against the floor, emphasizing her anger. “No, you just meant that if it comes down to who can be more helpful, the clear answer is that it’s you. Your career comes first. Always. Your family. Your friends. Your firm. And I just workforyou. In our marriage, at the firm, with our kids.” She pulls up short and stares me down. “God, how could I have been foolish enough to think you’d changed?”
I pull at my hair. How the hell did this go so off the rails? “Sloane, no. I have changed, sweetheart?—”
She holds up a hand. “Don’t sweetheart me. I need—” She shakes her head. “I need space. I’m going to stay in New York tonight.”
“Then I’m staying here too. I’m not leaving you like this.”
Her eyes go hard, the blue the color of ice. “Go home to your firm, Sully. They can’t possibly survive without you. But as you proved to me every time you chose it over me, I can survive just fine on my own.”
Chapter 40
Sloane
My head is pounding. I barely slept last night. My mind was too busy running through our conversation—no, our fight—on repeat and working through what I could have done differently. Should I have agreed to turn down the appointment? Maybe.
Sully’s work is so important. I’ve always believed that, and I’ve always been incredibly proud of him. Representing domestic violence victims, especially in divorce cases, is extremely taxing. It’s noble work.
But why can’t he see that what I do matters as well? Why does it always have to be one or the other? And why, when it is, am I always the other? The one who has to bend, who has to let go of goals and dreams.
But do you even want this?
The words are a mere whisper in the back of my head, coaxing me from my anger.
God, that’s the hard part. I’m right to be angry, but do I even want the thing I’m fighting for?
What I want is for my husband to realize that my career matters too. What I want is for him to treat me like an equal. For years I gaveup everything to support him and to raise T.J. I’m just asking for a little recognition. A little compromise. And partnership. In our marriage, and maybe at work too.
Maybe that’s delusional after the way I stepped back for so long. But that doesn’t stop his words from hurting, and it doesn’t excuse the way he always fails to see my worth. He used to ask for my opinion. He’d ask for my help. Now I’m no one. Just another obligation. A person to take care of. I suppose it’s better than not seeing me at all, but only marginally. I don’t want to be another thing on his agenda. I want to be his equal.
I rub at my head, and the white squiggles behind my eyelids only get worse. I really need to lie down. This feels more like a migraine than a simple headache.
But I promised Lo I would meet with this Yoga Jess girl, and I refuse to let my best friend down. I can rest afterward.
The office is abuzz with activity when I walk in, which is no surprise. It’s just a typical Wednesday in New York. No one else’s lives have gone up in flames. Hell, is my life even in flames? That’d be exciting and new. Nothing about how I feel is new. The sensations rushing through me are far too familiar for my liking, since they’ve plagued me since T.J. was a baby. Now, though, they feel more jarring. Probably because I had convinced myself that Sully had changed. That he was different. That I was different. Thatwewere different.
“Morning, Sloane.” The greeting is echoed by person after person as I stride to my office. I nod to each one, though with every step I take, their voices grow more muffled. I need to get out of my head and focus on this meeting. I promised Lo.
“Baby mama!” Julius croons the moment I step into the entryway of our suite. Like every other day, his blond hair is slicked to the side,his jacket is perfectly pressed, and his navy pants stop at his ankle, leaving him looking like he should be heading out for a night on the town rather than stuck in this office.
“Good morning.” Even to my own ears, my voice sounds despondent.
His smile falls. “What’s wrong?”
