Page 140 of When You Blush
“Crib over there,” he whispers, making my breath catch.
He’s figuring out the baby’s room.
“Shelves here. Changing table. She’ll want a rocking chair. Do I need to open that wall and make this room bigger?”
He sighs, seeming to work it out in his head.
“She should be here with me. We’ll do whatever she wants.”
Without thinking twice, I step up behind him, wrap my arms around his stomach, and kiss his spine, right between his shoulder blades.
“Did I wake you?” he asks as his hand covers mine.
“No.” Resting my cheek against his back, I lean on him, soaking in his warmth. “I love you so much, it scares the shit out of me.”
He starts to move, but I hold him tight.
“Let me say this part.”
Bringing my hand up to his lips, he whispers, “Okay.”
“Being in love with you is so easy, Blake. You’re incredible. I couldn’t respect you any more than I do. You’re everything I’ve ever needed and wanted in my life, and now that I have you, I’m terrified that I’ll lose you.”
“I’m not going anywhere, sugar.”
“I think I’ve loved you since the minute I saw you on the plane. I recognized you, and I’d never seen you before in my life.”
He turns in my arms and cups my face in his hands, kissing my lips so tenderly, it brings tears to my eyes.
“I can’t stand the thought of you thinking that just because the words are hard for me, that I don’t love you so much,” I whisper against his lips. “I’veneversaid them before to anyone. But Blake, you’re the beginning and end for me. When I need to talk, you’re who I want. Last night, when Ava was here talking to me about the positive test, all I could think was,Blake should be here.”
“Baby.” He drags his knuckles down my cheek and presses his lips to my forehead.
“And earlier, when Hannah Hull, who was in town today, did my ultrasound, I just wanted you to be with me. Itkilledme that our schedules were so jacked up that I couldn’t tell you right away. But tonight, after that … after I got hurt, all I needed was you.”
“You never have to wait for my schedule to clear, baby.”
“I know that. I know that in an emergency, I can count on you. And even though it wasn’t ideal, I was okay with waiting a couple of days to talk to you about the little bean. I just need you to know thatyou’remy person. You’re everything. I’m going to work on saying the words more because you deserve to hear that I love you every fucking day. You’re so damn good to me.”
His hand glides over my hip, and I can’t stop the wince that comes, making him scowl.
“Are you hurting, baby?”
“I’m sore. I’ll take it easy, and I’ll be fine.”
“Come on.” He takes my hand and leads me back to the bedroom, helps me into the bed and tucks me upagainst his side, and we curl together, making sure I’m off my right side. “I love you.”
He kisses my head, and I smile, feeling braver. Saying the words isn’t hard when the love is spilling out of every fucking pore of my body. “I love you, too.”
Seeing him in that room, in the dark, planning our baby’s safe place just kicked my heart over the edge.
How can Inottell him how I feel?
After an exhale, he tips my chin up and smiles softly. “Please say it again.”
“I’m so crazy in love with you, Blake Blackwell.”
“I need my car and my purse.”
