Page 138 of When You Blush
I nod and set her down on the sofa, then walk into the kitchen to get a couple of waters and bring her one, then sit facing her.
“I want it to be known right now that I’m super salty that all of my plans got ruined,” she says with a frown. “I mean, I wasn’t going to do anything cheesy because that’s not me, but still. I wanted to talk to you on my own terms and not spring it on you in the middle of a crisis at work. That’s fucked up.”
“I’m glad that you’re mad and not upset anymore.” I reach for her hand and steel myself for the answer to my next question. “What do you want to do, Harper?”
She blinks at me, and then she’s up and in my lap, hugging me close, and I finally breathe a sigh of relief.
“Shit, did you think I wouldn’t—” She shakes her head, not completing the thought. “I know I said I didn’t want kids. And neither do you?—”
“I said I didn’t see myself with a family,” I correct her, brushing her hair back from her face. “But I didn’t have you yet, sugar.”
She bites her lip. “I was afraid that you’d be so mad, but you don’t seem mad at all.”
“I’m not mad. Surprised. Pissed off that someone put his hands on you. Worried about you. But no, I’m not at all mad at you, baby.”
“I’m really scared that you’re going to think I did this on purpose. That I’d try to trap you?—”
“You said that before, and I hate that fucking word.” I tug her lip out of her teeth and run my thumb over the soft skin. “We’re consenting adults, Harper. I can’t keep my hands off you. You believed that your birth control was working, and if I was worried about that, I could have used condoms. I told you that I love you before we had any inkling that you could be pregnant. You moved in with me. We’re a team, sugar, so no. I don’t feel trapped in any way. I want you. Ineedyou in my life.”
“It’s really soon for a baby.” She licks her lips. “I’m not trying to talk anyone out of anything. I’m just talking.”
“I understand. Go ahead.”
“We haven’t been together long, and Ijustmoved in. I would have liked some more time with you, all to myself, before we started thinking about adding more people to the mix.”
Her fingers are in my hair, brushing through the strands. You’d never know we’re talking about bringing a life into this world. We’re both so calm.
I’d say that means that everything about this is right.
“The fact that you’re not running, that you want to be here with me, is all I need to know. I don’t disagree with you. More time would have been ideal, but we have roughly seven-ish months to get used to the idea.” I press my hand to her stomach, and a ghost of a smile spreads over her lips.
My clinical brain knows there’s a baby in there. Iknow all the medical nuances about everything happening in Harper’s body. The how and why and when.
But this is my girl, the woman who I’m so in love with, it’s a living, breathing emotion in every cell of my body, carryingmy child.And that makes every bit of my medical degree go right out the window.
“What are we going to do?” she whispers, watching my fingers splay over her abdomen. “We both work so much, Blake. We hardly have time for each other.”
“What we’ve been doing.” I lift my eyes to hers and cradle her face. My thumb drifts over the apple of her cheek. “I’m going to keep loving you and take care of you as much as you’ll let me. We’ll figure out all of the logistics.”
I’m going to marry you.
She’s not ready to hear that yet.
“And we’re going to get ready for a baby.”
She wrinkles her nose. “That’s a crazy statement.”
“It’s a little overwhelming,” I admit with a chuckle.
“Oh, thank God you’re overwhelmed, too. I thought it was just me.”
“No, it’s not just you. Harper, there is no one else in the world that I’d want to do this with.”
“Same.” Her finger drifts over my lips. “I never thought I wanted kids, and while I’m definitely a little …concerned, and I was a little scared of your reaction, I’m not freaking out about this. Ava?—”
“Ava knows?”
She pauses and nods. “She was with me. And eventhough I had no intention of keeping it from you, she made sure to remind me that I needed to tell you ASAP. She also offered to take our girl to Seattle for the weekend for a Swift concert.”
