Page 50 of Kingdom of Ashes & Bone
“Look, I promise not to wake her up. Can’t we just let the past be the past, and go from here? Having someone else help me with her is welcome.” The words tasted a bit ashy in my mouth, but I forced them out.
Ess’s posture relaxed. Slightly.
“Well, if you’re staying for a bit, I’m taking a break,” he conceded.
Ess turned on his heel and walked away, finally leaving us alone. It was a start, at least.
Leilani sat down on the full cushions with me, letting out a surprised ‘oomph’ as we both sank far into its velvety depths.
“Thanks for trying,” I continued. “Did you want to come out and help the rescue efforts? I need to find Shava.”
Leilani ducked her head. “I don’t have the stomach for that sort of thing. Lots of people are hurt. I’m enjoying helping care for them once they’re here, but I … um …” she trailed off, looking lost.
I grasped her shoulders in my hands. Something was clearly troubling her, and we’d been through too much together for me to simply let it go.
“Leilani. What’s wrong?”
She tried to keep her eyes on the ground, but her lip quivered and after a few moments she burst into tears, falling against me.
“I’m a horrible person! When the dome fell Duncan tripped and I lost him. I heard him calling my name, but I-I pretended I couldn’t hear him! I kept going, and later, when we went back, he was … he was …”
I had a few guesses what he looked like, especially if there had been a stampede for safety when the dome had fallen. I wrapped my friend tightly in my arms, holding her close to me.
“Leilani, listen to me. You didn’t kill him.”
“Yes I did!” she wailed, sobbing into my chest. “I should have gone back. I was his fiancé; it was my job to look after him! I’m a monster!”
I shook her gently. “He was a cursed Noble whose only job was to try to impregnate you before turning into a demon and dying to dragon fire. There was nothing you could have done for him.”
She froze at that, shocked. Good. I was trying to shock her.
“But … but …” She sniffed. “If he was alive now, the curse would have broken, and he’d be normal!”
I tried to piece together what few flashes I’d seen of her and her betrothed from the ball that night, before everything had gone to hell.
Leilani had paused at the table in front of me, worry in her eyes. Her white dress was stiff and puffy, but suited her light, bubbly personality perfectly. Brightly colored embroidered flowers dotted the hem and her sleeves, snaking down her chest and around her collar. Wooden shoes on her feet gave her added height.
I almost stepped out of the shadows to greet her, but a man followed behind her, a satisfied smirk on his face. I hesitated, not feeling up to meeting another ‘new guy’ just yet.
“Well? Where is she?”
His red hair was a beacon in the ballroom, bright orange instead of the usual dark red hue I’d seen on other Nobles and Azalea. His face pinched, and lines crinkled around his eyes. He looked much older than her and me.
Leilani flinched, but smiled brightly. “I’ll keep looking; don’t worry. She’s my best friend! She’ll want to see me.”
“Find her. That’s your job tonight.” His hand landed heavily on her shoulders, and she nodded. He turned and disappeared back into the crowd. The moment he was gone, the happy smile vanished, leaving only tired defeat behind. Leilani closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then spun around to face the crowd, her dazzling smile back in place.
I took a guess that wasn’t entirely blind. “And would you have been happy with him, had he been normal?”
Blue eyes met mine, filled with tears. “I’m supposed to be,” she whispered desperately.
My heart broke for her. “Oh no, Leilani. That’s not it at all. The only one whose happiness matters is you. If you are better off without him, then it’s all for the best.”
She hiccupped and I hugged her again.
“You don’t think I’m awful for what I did?” she whispered again as if terrified someone would hear her confession.
“You’re an amazing friend and a strong woman,” I reassured her, her blonde hair forming a halo around her face as the sun streamed in from the nearby window. “This city will need you, and your kindness.”
