“Every three years. I think it’s about that time, but I was actually planning on having it removed. Not replaced.”
There’s a beat of silence before he pulls his head back to look down at me. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I was planning to have a baby.” His eyebrows almost shoot off the top of his head, and I rush to add. “It was during the time after our vacation but before I knew you moved here.”
“That… doesn’t make me feel any better, Juliette.” His nostrils flare. “Who exactly were you planning to have this baby with?”
“A donor,” I say, and Reno’s face goes through several expressions in rapid succession. Shock, anger, confusion, and something else I can’t name.
“You want to have a baby so you were going to use a sperm donor?”
“That was the plan, but like I said, it was before you came back into my life. I know it’s too early in our relationship to talk about families and babies, so I’ll just have Dr. Fergus put in a new implant.” I say it in an easy-breezy tone I don’t quite feel.
I feel the ice seep in around us as Reno’s jaw hardens. “And you weren’t even going to tell me about this plan?”
Apprehension makes my stomach hurt. He’s angry. “What do you mean? I just told you I’m getting the implant. I’m not trying to baby trap you or anything, Reno.”
He snorts out a humorless laugh. “I didn’t say you were. What I’m hearing is that you’d rather have a baby with some fucking stranger than with me.”
I’m stunned and perplexed by his attitude. “I don’t understand what you’re so mad about.”
Reno lets out a frustrated sound and rolls onto his back, rubbing at one of his eyes with the heel of his hand. He stares at the ceiling for a long time, like he’s trying to gather his strength, before turning back onto his side.
“Do you still want a baby, Juliette?” he asks pointblank.
“I…”
“The truth,” he demands, and I crush my eyes closed and nod. “But you don’t want one with me. Is it because you’re afraid I’ll be like my father?”
My eyes fly open. If I’d thought I was stunned before, now I’m completely flabbergasted.
“Of course not, Reno. You’re nothing like your father.” Resting my hand on his cheek, I say, “You’re the exact opposite, and that’s why I fell in love with you so fast and so hard. I think you’d be an amazing dad.”
In his eyes, I can see the vulnerable little boy who didn’t understand why Daddy hurt them when he softly asks, “Then why don’t you want me to be your child’s father?”
Oh. God.I get it now. He’s not upset about me wanting a baby that he’s not ready for. He’s hurt because he thinks I don’t want a babywith him.But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Cupping his handsome face with both my hands, I kiss him with the kind of tenderness I hope he can feel in his heart.
“I do want that, Reno. More than anything in the world. When I picture having a child, he always has dark curls and green eyes. He’s sweet and laughs at my silly jokes when he grows up, and he never rolls his eyes when I ramble.” My voice trembles with significance on the next part. “Because I picture a little version of you.”
Reno’s lips roll in and out a few times as he attempts to get his emotions under control. His hand drops to my bare stomach beneath the covers, and his voice goes husky.
“I don’t want you to get the implant replaced,” he says with confidence before quickly adding, “It’s your body, Juliette, and I would never, ever try to tell you what to do with it, but if it were up to me, I’d cover your body every night until I put all the babies you wanted into your belly. Because I want them too. With you.”
“You do? We’ve only been a couple for less than two months, Reno.”
His green eyes search my face. “Are you afraid we’re not going to last? Because if you’re even the tiniest bit unsure, you should get the implant today, and we can table this discussion for a later time.”
Tears drip down my face at the empathy and understanding this big, strong man is showing me. “You’re my forever, Reno Swain. I know that in my heart, and I have complete faith in your love for me.”
That draws a smile from him.
“It’s still your choice. I know it seems fast, but if you’re ready to have a child, I’m your man. Not some randomjack-off-in-a-cupguy.” He kisses my forehead with firm lips. “Take your time and think about it. You can always postpone your trip to the doctor. Whatever you decide, I’ll support you.”
I’m unsure on exactly which direction I should go, but it’s those last three words—I’ll support you—that tell me no matter what decision I make, Reno will be by my side.
Chapter 41
