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‘I don’t have to give youanytime, Heath. I broke up with you. I left. We’re over. I’m prepared to hear you out but don’t waste your time trying to convince me to come back, because I won’t be.’ Did she sound like a bitch? She didn’t want to, but being direct seemed to be the only way she was going to get through to him.

His dejected sigh rang over the line and Piper bit on her bottom lip.

‘I do want you back, Piper. I was prepared to beg and plead because I have no dignity left after what I have been through over the last couple of weeks. These so-called investigators have combed through every inch of my life from when I entered the world to the second I walked into the interview—No. Interrogation room. And all I kept thinking the entire time they asked me the same question, over and over, was that none of it mattered. None of it mattered because all of the lies and all of the secrets cost me the only person who truly meant something to me. You.’

Sadness settled over Piper’s heart at the authenticity in his voice.

She hadn’t expected that. Even Maddie’s face had softened.

‘Are you still there, Piper?’

She cleared her throat. ‘I’m listening.’

‘I’m so ashamed of this addiction. Ashamed of the lies I told you, the way I avoided you and pretended I was coping when I wasn’t. I took them so rarely in the beginning, just one when a surgery went wrong because it helped me to not feel. Then the Anderson child happened, and I couldn’t get him out of my head. I just wanted to switch off, to forget and feel good about myself instead of the failure that I was for not being able to save him. He was so little. I couldn’t get the image of his tiny body lying on my table out of my mind. I can hear my voice pronouncing him as dead, over and over. The tablets made it go away. I thought I had a handle on it, that there was no way I could get addicted. I was a doctor, for fuck’s sake. I knew the risks, I knew the effect it would have. I knew what it would cost me, and I did it anyway.’

Tears ran down Piper’s cheeks as she thought of the little boy and his family. She’d been on shift and had to watch Heath tell the parents that their little boy had died on the table. That there’d been nothing he could’ve done to save him. She’d watched the mother crumble to the floor, the father grip Heath as he cried out in agony. A sound that still ripped through Piper.

‘What happened to that little boy was tragic, Heath. It plays on everybody’s mind, but why didn’t you get help? You could’ve talked to your supervisor or the counselling service. Your friends or family. You could’ve talked to me. There’s so many people you could’ve spoken to rather than take that stuff.’

‘I didn’t want you to think of me as weak. I didn’t want anyone to look at me and think that I couldn’t handle my job.’

‘Taking drugs is weak. Lying to everyone who loved you is weak. What’s strong is admitting you’re not okay when you’re struggling with something that traumatic. You’re not invincible. We would’ve helped you, not judged you.’

Heath sniffed and Piper knew he was crying as well. ‘I ruined everything. I’ve lost you. My family doesn’t know how to act around me. My career’s over. I don’t know where to go from here.’

‘Are you still taking the tablets?’

Silence echoed across the line.

‘I’ll take that as a yes, which means your next step is rehab. If you want to get off them and start claiming your life back, then you need help. Professional help. Reach out for it, Heath. It’s not too late, but you have to do it for you. Not for me or us, because I can’t promise you that. I walked away because it was too much for me. I’m sorry that I let you down and disappointed you, but I couldn’t be the person you wanted me to be, and I still can’t. Our relationship was over long before the lies came out, we just never admitted it to ourselves.’

‘Piper, it wasn’t—’

‘It was. When was the last time we slept in the same bed at the same time? When was the last time we even had a meal together? Until I walked out of the apartment, we hadn’t even messaged each other anything apart from checking in around what shifts we were on and who could eat what in the fridge. That’s not love and it’s not a relationship. You know I’m right.’ Her resolve strengthened as she wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her scrubs. ‘You need to do what’s right for you, Heath, and focus on getting yourself back on track. I need to do the same. I want you to get better, because somewhere out there is someone who’s going to love you the way you need to be loved, but that person isn’t me.’

He sighed heavily. ‘I hear what you’re saying, Piper.’

‘Goodbye, Heath.’

‘Bye.’

Piper ended the call and her shoulders lowered with the relief of the ties to Heath finally being cut away.

Maddie shuffled across the bed and draped an arm around her shoulders. ‘I’m proud of you.’

Piper nodded. ‘Me too. Thanks for being here.’

‘Do you know what will go a long way in breaking up all the heavy feelings right now?’

‘What’s that?’

Maddie pressed the screen of her own phone and an upbeat tune started playing through Piper’s Bluetooth speaker. She hadn’t realised Maddie had connected. A smile formed on her lips as she recognised the song.

‘“Fancy Like Christmas”?’

‘A Walker Hayes classic. Can you imagine Gloria’s face if we sang this song?’

Piper laughed. ‘Peggy might actually put her knitting needles down voluntarily.’