Page 123 of A Home Among the Snow Gums
‘I want to,’ he said at last. ‘But I don’t know what my future holds. I’m not in a position to be inviting anyone to a formal. Even you.’
She pressed a kiss onto his hand. ‘That’s not true. I know about your injury. I know about the risk. And I make my own decisions about who I let invite me out.’
The door opened and this time it really was the orderly.
‘Tom, we’re ready to rumble. Oh! Sorry, I didn’t know you had a guest. That’s quite an outfit.’
Tom looked over Hannah’s shoulder at the orderly. ‘Can you give us a minute?’
‘Surgical team’s prepped.’
‘Come back in five.’
He met Hannah’s gaze and swallowed. He had to tell her, regardless of the gesture she was making here in her hideous dress. ‘There’s no guarantee of a happy ending, Hannah.’
‘I don’t care. You don’t get to decide what makes me happy, Tom Krauss. I do. And I’ve decided it’s you.’
He shook his head. ‘It can’t be, Hannah. If this surgery doesn’t work, I won’t …’ Shit. He really did not want to say the words out loud. ‘I won’t be the man you want me to be. Ever.’
‘You’re exactly the man I want you to be. Strong. Kind. Loyal. Brave. You’re the one I’m having, Tom, no matter what. For a while there I was thinking I wasn’t good enough for you, on account of how I can be fairly stroppy most of the time, but then I discovered what a liar you are. So that cancels out my stroppiness.’
‘Your logic is … alarming.’ But adorable. And he wished it was enough.
The orderly was back, the big nurse behind him. ‘It’s roll out time, Tom. Sorry, love.’
Tom had to get it said. ‘If this surgery goes badly, my ability to give you or anyone a baby might be gone. I’m not going to be the bloke who stands between you and your greatest wish.’
‘You’re not hearing me, Krauss,’ she said. ‘I’ll be waiting for you. No matter what.’
Her hand closed tight on his for a moment, then he was moved beyond her reach.
CHAPTER
49
She spent the first three hours in a horrid grey chair by a fake pot plant in the waiting room. She spent another hour over a pot of tea in the cafeteria, staring out the window at the security lights shining down on the carpark, then she spent an hour hiding in the ladies restroom on the ground floor, crying.
She was wiping her face when a tall woman in blue scrubs found her.
‘Hannah Cody?’
‘Yes?’
‘I’m Dr Tse.’
Hannah gripped the hand dryer and took in a shaky breath. ‘Is it over?’
The doctor smiled and the fist around Hannah’s heart eased, just a fraction. ‘The steel fragment is out. The spinal cord is intact. We’re expecting the swelling to go down and for Tom to be just fine.’
‘Oh my god.’
‘You okay?’
‘Yeah.’ She sniffed. ‘Relieved, happy, a little crazy all at the same time.’
The surgeon put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. ‘You can be as happy and crazy as you like.’
‘Can I see him?’
