The dirt churned, and a smiling skull rose to the surface, soil trickling from its eye sockets like tears. Another scream ripped from my throat. I clutched the condoms to my chest like a security blanket, pulling helplessly at my ensnared foot.
Bryce stepped around me and stomped hard on the skull, driving it back under the dirt. “Back to Hell, asshole.” He stomped again, heel connecting with the skeletal wrist, bones crunching under his boot.
The fingers released, and I flew backward.
Bryce steadied me until I found my footing. I looked toward the field and caught one glimpse of a skeletal army clawing its way from the earth, silhouetted in the flames of the unnatural pizza roll fire that should have long ago burned out.
Then Bryce was yelling in my ear, “Run!”
CHAPTER 27INWHICHWEOREGA-KNOWTHESEAREGRAVETIMES
BRYCE
I was uncomfortable with many things in life. If I had to rank the top three things I was most uncomfortable with, it would probably go something like this:
That moment when you go to a show, and the guy on the stage screams into the microphone, for the third time, “I said, are y’all having a good time?”
Flash mobs.
Skeleton flash mobs.
However, at that moment, my mind was not capable of ranking fears. I was really only capable of thinking thoughts such as:Holyshitholyshitholyshit.
The undead had spooked our horses, causing them to run off, so we crashed through the forest on foot, vines slapping our faces and thorns scraping our skin. Bioluminescent fungi grew out of tree trunks and rotting logs, like stars had fallen and settled in the forest. I tried to find comfort in the beauty, but my limbs shook.They felt like they hadn’tstoppedshaking since we came into this world. Trying not to catch feelings for Courtney while simultaneously chasing after Courtney as she repeatedly endangered herself meant I existed in a continuous state of acute panic.
Courtney happened to remember the sun was in her eyes this morning on the way to the field, so we figured out which direction we needed to run to head back to the castle. Thankfully, the skeletons were too preoccupied with rising from the dead to be concerned with chasing us.
We ran for what felt like hours before the fear buzzing in my ears subsided enough for me to think. They were frantic, nonsensical thoughts, but at least I could form words.
“Do you think those pizza rolls had oregano in them?” I gasped for breath.
Courtney limped as she ran. “Are you saying you thinkoreganohad something to do with us raising the dead?” Her words came out choppy as we maneuvered over roots and undergrowth.
“Amy said oregano was used in the dark arts, and you called upon some unknown god while we burned a circle of oregano. You do the math.” My voice came out sharper than I’d intended, fear tightening my throat. “What are we going to do? We have to fight a dragonandthe undead now?”
Her pace slowed. “It was an accident. Really, the dragon’s fault.”
“Right. The dragonwe freedmade me drop the pizza rolls into a fire and raise the dead. I’m sure everyone will be understanding.” My chest hurt. I could hardly breathe.
Moonlight caught Courtney’s face as she fell against a tree and rubbed her ankle. “We can blame the Evil One again.”
“You’re hurt.” I couldn’t breathe. I hurried over and knelt at her feet. “Where? Do you think it’s broken?Can you see bone?” I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe. Oh god, I could not breathe.
Courtney wore a strange expression. If I didn’t know better,I might say she was concerned. Then she smirked. “I told you most men know to bow before me. I knew you’d come around.”
My chest was constricted so tightly, I expected a rib to crack. “Would you stop joking around for once? Why can’t you take anything seriously? It’s like you don’t even care about safety.”
“I have the ultimate respect for your love of caution, Bryce. I even hope you have a warning label written about you one day. Imagine the honor.”
“Gee, thanks.” Wrangling my frantic fingers, I managed to wiggle her shoe off her heel. She dug her fingers into my shoulders, drawing in a sharp, pained breath. Purple bruises swelled around her ankle. Visions of her being sucked into the ground, echoes of her screams—they flashed in my memory before settling in my gut to fester. My vision swam, darkening around the edges.
“Relax, Bryce.” Her voice sounded distant. “One day the sun will explode and consume the universe, and none of this will have mattered.”
The shock factor of her words momentarily distracted me from my fear, and when she slipped her hand into mine, slowly, slowly, my pulse evened out.
I grimaced. “You are the most negative positive person I have ever met.” If she were the sunshine, she’d be happy, not because of how brightly she shone, but because she could give people sunburns.
Favoring her unharmed ankle, Courtney slid down the tree to look me in the eye. As she scanned my face, the fight seemed to leave her body. “What are we going to do? People here need help, and all we do is make things worse. It’s not as though three-to-five armies are going to rush to our aid at the last minute and save us. We haven’t done any of the things heroes are supposed to do. We don’t have a band of misfit sidekicks. We haven’t slain any beasts or traveled thousands of miles on horseback. All we’ve done is make everything worse.”
