I leaned in and let my voice go husky. “We’ll like our two qualities, really,reallyhard.”
She gave me a sideways look. “Why do I get the feeling I’m going to loathe whatever you’re about to say?”
I held back a smile. “I think we should have sex.”
She made aggressive gagging noises, shoving the blankets away.
“Hear me out.”
“Nope.” She hurried for the door.
“Would it help if I told you that day you were super into brushing your teeth, it made me really want to brush my teeth, too?”
That made her pause. “You’re lying.”
I actually wasn’t, but I’d let her believe that. She’d sounded unbearably hot that day I’d shipped her a sex toy, and imagining what she was doing to herself on the other side of the wall had nearly driven me to… well, needing to brush my teeth. But brushing my teeth at the same time she was brushing hers felt slightly icky when she didn’t know I could hear her, and so I resisted.
For a day.
When I finally caved and brushed my teeth, it was frantic and depraved, and I definitely did not make it the recommended two minutes.
“Look,” I said, “I’m just saying there’s no point in denying that we don’t find each other totally repulsive.”
Courtney started for the door again.
“I’m not saying we have to like each other’s minds,” I called after her. “That would be ridiculous. We can work the system. All we have to do is like each other’s bodies. I think you’d like my spectacularpulsatingmanhood, and I’d like your—”
The door slammed.
I burst out laughing, falling back onto the pillows and slinging a hand behind my head. Idly, I picked up the pebble she’d given me off the bedside table and turned it over in my fingers. Hopefully, my planting that little idea meant she’d spend the day tormented with the same thoughts plaguing me. She’d be soangry I used her own game to get under her skin, she’d never try it again. Which was a shame, because it was her most intriguing game yet. It filled me with the same exhilarated curiosity I felt as a child when I contemplated sticking my finger in a light socket just to see what would happen.
In both situations, my fingers were best kept to myself.
CHAPTER 16INWHICHONECANNOTSIMPLYGIRLBOSSTHEIRWAYTHROUGHBEINGACHOSENONE
COURTNEY
My entire body ached for him.
Bryce had somehow turned the tables. I’d wanted him to have a tiny, harmless crush. Instead, he’d suggested sex, and now all I could think about was him. It was all because of the wink he shot me when he propositioned me. Winks were evil. They had the power of making anyone hot.
No. It was before then. In those moments when his brow was pinched in worry or fear, but I’d make a wisecrack, and his expression would smooth when he turned my way. When I found myself looking at his mouth. When his shoulder brushed mine, and shivers raced over my skin.
Or maybe it was last night, listening to his agonized sighs as he buried his face in a pillow and cursed my name. Or what he’d confessed this morning about The Infamous Buzzing. Whether it was true or not, the unbidden mental images that arose from it had me ready to combust: Bryce desperate and unwound as he listened to me getting myself off—
Well, suffice it to say, my scheme had backfired. I hated my body for reacting this way to the human equivalent of a dial tone.
I had to come up with a plan B. Who knew how much time I had before the dragon showed back up, or something happened to Winston, or worse, the Evil One made an appearance.
Screw Amy and his irrational rules. I couldn’t get people to like me from a distance. I needed to interact with them. I’d win them over the old-fashioned way: face-to-face bribery.
After a much-needed morning bath, and checking with the servants that the king was still asleep in his chambers, I got to work.
Grunting, I dragged a giant golden chair down a narrow stone staircase. The legs clunked loudly, bouncing from one step to the next. Sweat poured down my back, and my labored breaths echoed off the stone walls.
Maybe bribery wasn’t the most morally pure way to win affection, but it was the quick way, especially because it wasn’t like my personality alone would win me any points.
I called my plan Operation Dave. Everyone has one coworker that they can’t stand, but everyone else loves. For me, that coworker was Dave from appliances. It was obvious to me that Dave from appliances was a major kiss-ass, but everyone else was under his spell. That was my plan. Being genuine would get me nowhere because I was a genuine, grade-A disappointment. So, since I wasn’t terribly good at being good, I’d just have to be good at faking it. Amy would never have to know.
