“How, though?” I asked hopelessly, feeling as lost as the time someone told a waiter it was my birthday, and everyone stared at me as though I were instinctually supposed to know how to act correctly when faced with ice cream I didn’t want and the racket of a public domain birthday song.
Amy started writing in the dirt:
The first man to discover magic was my ancestor Urphomptemtust a million billion years ago…
Courtney turned her back on Amy as he proceeded to write his memoir in the dirt. “Come on, Bryce. Heal him. You can figure it out.”
Behind her, Amy wobbled, then slid farther down the wall, eyes drifting shut.
I pointed, wheezing, my dismay too extensive for words.
Courtney looked over her shoulder. “Oh my god. He died.” Her voice was blank and uncomprehending.
My chest tightened. “No. He can’t be gone.” I crossed the alley, scrambling to my hands and knees, sweeping Amy’s bony wrist into my hands. His pulse fluttered weakly against my fingertips. “He’s still alive,” I said, latching on to that one hope.
Courtney’s hand found mine, her slender fingers weaving into my cold, stiff ones, and my focus steadied. “You can do this. Use your Care Bear love magic and heal him.”
I laid my hands on Amy, reaching inside for that tiny glow I felt earlier that day. But I couldn’t find a single glimmer. Pressure built in my head as Amy grew weaker. My hands shook. “I don’t think I can,” I said.
Releasing my hand, Courtney rocked back on her heels, creating space between us. “Are you serious?” Before I could react, Courtney scooped up a handful of pebbles and started lobbing them at my boots. “You. Have. To. Try. Harder.” Lob, lob, lob. “They’re going to throw us into the streets and stone us for killing Amy. Which, actually, you’d probably like, considering your pebble fetish. Your body won’t know if it should die or be aroused.”
I deflected the tiny rocks. “Joke’s on you; not knowing if I’m dying or aroused has been my body’s resting state since coming here!”
“All your body does is rest.”
“That’s rich coming from you!”
“At least I’m not obsessed with rocks.”
“Don’t hate on geology!”
Amy made some concerning snuffling noises.
Courtney flung her hands, letting the pebbles fall through her fingers. “Move.” She elbowed me out of the way. “Think some nice thoughts about me to turn on my magic, and I’ll heal him.”
My mind was blank. I’d been so intent on feeling nothing but hate for Courtney for so long, I couldn’t manage anything else. The dark, swirling memories clenching my chest wouldn’tallowme to manage anything else. Me, at nine years old, so happy one second, so devastated the next. Courtney and me kissing, so happy one second… so devastated the next.
I stood to shake out my cramped legs. “What if, as soon as I stop hating you, something else bad happens?”
A raindrop splattered across her forehead, and she swiped itoff her brow, movements jerky. “You’re giving yourself too much credit if you honestly think yourfeelingscan alter the course of the universe.”
“We are in a fairy-tale world. Who says they can’t?”
“If we were in a fairy tale, positive feelings would save the day, not ruin it,” she said, voice rising. “If we were in a fairy tale, all we’d have to do is kiss again, and everything would be fine.”
Something in my chest constricted, all my fears reaffirmed. “Instead, everything fell apart after we kissed,” I whispered. More rain fell, spattering in cold drops across my skin. I struggled to allow myself to feel the things she needed to awaken her magic. With each new piece of evidence suggesting she and I were a doomed idea, new walls formed around my heart.
She licked her lips. “Bryce—”
“Courtney,” I sighed wearily. “If you want me to infuse you with some love juice—”
“Don’t call it that.”
“—you’re going to have to give me something new to work with. You used to work in marketing, right? Pitch yourself until I can’t help but like you.”
CHAPTER 32INWHICHAMANICPIXIEDREAMGIRLWANTSNOTHING
COURTNEY
