“General kindness.” Courtney paled. Her eyes searched me out, giving me anoh hell nolook.
“You’ll do great,” I said, trying not to notice the freckle under her left eye. “I’m sure people will like you. Just be yourse—actually, in your case, don’t be yourself.”
To my surprise, Courtney flinched, the sparkle snuffing from her eyes, and I immediately felt like the world’s biggest jerk. Usually, no insult, no matter how heinous, made her flinch like that. Something about this conversation had her on edge.
Amy stepped away from his tree bestie and looked from me to Courtney. “I must say, I’ve never heard of Chosen Ones completely unable to feel their Charisma. Most of them are universally liked.”
“Why, though?” Courtney asked.
He blinked. “Well, I… I don’t know.”
“How can we get people to like us when you told us not to make friends while we were here?” Courtney asked shrewdly. “It’s hard to build connections when you’re not allowed to talk to anyone.”
Amy chuckled. “Oh no, no, no. You mustn’t do something so ridiculous astalkto the people. For their safety, it’s best if you keep your distance. You will be admired from afar, loved by society—an icon, a legend.” Amy clasped his hands. “I propose we try an exercise.”
“I hate exercise.” Courtney whimpered. I focused on not focusing on her whimper.
“Close your eyes,” Amy said.
“Oh, this is more my speed.” She shut her eyes.
Amy crossed to Courtney and placed what was probably supposed to be a comforting hand on her shoulder, but it came across creepy. “Think about your interactions with people, how theirapproval felt, then chase that feeling deep inside of you. There, you will find your power.”
“This seems like a toxic magic system,” Courtney said. “Do your children have a lot of self-worth issues if they aren’t immediately liked by others?”
“Oh, extreme issues,” Amy said gravely. “Power is strongest and easiest to wield during the initial rush of admiration a person feels for you, following whatever specific event sparked their adoration. Once that fades, so does your power. Though, if you have strong, constant appreciation surrounding you to draw from, you can be trained to pull upon it and awaken your magic at will. However, it is hard to access and takes much practice. See if you can feel any of that power now. I’m sure you have already amassed many admirers throughout the kingdom.”
“Like chasing likes on the Internet.” Courtney shook her head ruefully, eyes still shut.
I pretended to join her, knowing I’d find nothing. I knew no one here liked me. But if I dedicated myself to trying to tap into my magic, maybe it’d keep my mind off tapping anything else.
CHAPTER 12INWHICHOURMENTORISAMISOGYNIST
COURTNEY
I closed my eyes and tried to do Amy’s assignment, even though I knew I’d find nothing. To keep up appearances, every once in a while, I furrowed my brow or made a low humming noise, so it looked like I was going through some heavy character transformations. I’d have to figure out a solution to my magic problem quickly. I’d never read about an unlikable Chosen One, and if I didn’t gain Charisma soon, everyone would see me for the fraud I was.
Squinting one eye open, I peered at Bryce. I’d seen how his hands shook when he helped me off the horse. I’d also felt it, his fingers hot at my waist, trembling against my skin. He wasn’t joking about being scared, and yet he’d pushed past it. For me.
My mind went back to a day a few months ago. It was after I’d gotten into an argument with someone on the Internet who tried to convince me cilantro tasted like soap. He’d told me to touch grass, and that actually seemed like a good idea, so I went out and sat in the front lawn, my palms pressed to the earth beside me. It was one of the first warm days of the year, and a green, earthy smell filled my nostrils.
“What are you doing?”
I’d looked up to find Bryce leaning over the porch railing, a bemused expression on his face.
“Touching grass because some idiot thinks cilantro tastes like soap.”
“Cilantro does taste like soap, so you should stand up. You’re going to get grass cuts.”
“Is that really how you see the world? You go through life seeing everything that can hurt you?”
“No,” he said, “I see people who can be hurt by everything.”
That was the difference between him and me. He still tried, still fought for people. Didn’t he know they wouldn’t fight for him back?
Hours passed. From time to time, Amy murmured particularly useless encouragements like “Reflect on where your own positive perceptions of others stem from,” and “Feel the validation of others flow through you.”
At last, Amy figured out neither of us was going to shoot fireballs out of our butts, so we headed back to the castle, the setting sun behind us.
