Page 144 of On The Edge
But me?
I can’t help but feel like this is me paying for the sins of the past.
THIRTY-NINE
Heartbreaks can go sucka boatload of crusty dicks.
As can Reis, Kai, Adam and Markus.
I’m…done.
FORTY
It’s beentwenty-four hours since she left us.
A whole day.
It might have been the worse day of my fucking life. That includes the day I drank myself into a blackout with Oxy because I thought it’d help me forget her the first year we were in New York, but I ended up getting my stomach pumped. Nothing mattered without her then, and it holds true now.
Although, this whole thing does feel… off. Something’s not adding up and I’m determined to figure it out.
Birmingham was a great crowd, and the four of us genuinely gave everything we had left to make it a good show for them. But the problem is that we don’t have anything left.
We just landed in Cardiff, got to the hotel room, and are puttering around the room because we have an hour before we’re due at the venue. We all are just… empty.
My thoughts turn to Mel, as they usually do. I wonder what she’s doing right now. Is she upset? Does she miss us? Is she hurting like we are? Does she still love us?
Does she still loveme?
Something just doesn’t fucking feel right. Not how she smiled at us as we went onstage in Manchester and blew a kiss to each of us, then stood there watching for a moment, before just suddenly leaving. Not how we had all worked through the past and helping her find her footing with the annoying intricacies of our job.
Not when we had justfinallygotten the girl.
Paul walks up with a sour expression on his face as he helps us unload our bags. Not that he needs to help us, when we only have one bag each and are more than willing to carry our own stuff. He’s here for a reason.
Fuck, I need a blunt. I can already feel a migraine coming on.
His eyes narrow and he throws a bag down a little harder than is polite.
“Have something to say, Paul?” I ask strongly, calling him on his attitude and giving him the chance to tell us what’s going on.
“It’s not my place,” Paul answers politely, but the clench of his jaw tells me that he wants to say it anyway.
“Please, speak freely.” Kai comes over, crossing his arms over his chest, mimicking an authoritative pose that says Paul better speak up and quickly.
Paul looks at Kai, his nostrils flaring with anger-tinted restraint. “How could you guys do that to her?” He asks quietly.
“Excuse me?” Reis steps in, standing on the other side of me and mirroring Kai’s stance.
“How could you just… dismiss her like that?”
“Are you talking about Melody?” I ask quickly, the pieces starting to slot into place in my mind. At Melody’s name Adam crosses the suite quickly to listen.
“Yeah.” Paul looks at me with a silent ‘duh.’ “Louis told me she was respecting your wishes, and she was… fucking devastated. You guys carted her around like she was special, you all doted on her, and then just threw her out?”
My heart beats faster and I stand up slowly. “Louis…” I repeat softly. That motherfucker.
He’s going to pay for this.
