Page 45 of On The Edge
‘One, two, three,’I count, pushing the bar up over and over to work my chest and arms. I have the weights heavy enough so I can push the bar quickly, but not so heavy that I struggle. That’s the next set.
I reach ten and push the bar up onto the holder, sitting up for a rest period before I add more weight.
Do they not trust me anymore? After all we’ve gone through together?I think, pushing myself up to add another plate on both sides of the bar.
I told them what we’d heard… I told them enough, didn’t I?I’ll be honest, I’m not so sure anymore. My mind drifts, and I’m back in my awkward eighteen-year-old body, standing right outside the band room door hearing Melody talk to some chick.
“I don’t want any of them. They’re nothing to me. Nothing. They’re not successful, and we all know they won’t be. Especially not with that band we all know isn’t going anywhere. They coast by on their looks and charm. They’re like my brothers; it’s sick to think of them like that. I’ll tell you the truth: they latched onto me and I’ve been reaping the benefits. No one but your dumbass messes with me. Talk about using them to make my life better.”
Was her voice wobbling? Was she nervous? Was she trying to save herself? Are Markus and Adam right? Did I…
No, there’s no way, because if I have…
No, I’m not even going there.
My mom said Melody hadn’t even come by after we left. When we went home that day and told my parents the plan, my dad threatened to cut me off. I didn’t care. Still don’t; I don’t need that alcoholic fucker in my life. I did everything possible to make sure Melody was never left alone when he was there. My mom didn’t agree with him, but she was her own bag of crazy issues.
I choose not to interact with them anymore.
None of us have very involved families, so we got on a bus at midnight with nothing but a few changes of clothes, our instruments, as much cash as we could get together, and a burning need to prove to the girl we cared about that we were going to make it.
I called my mom from my new cheap phone a few days later, and after a few minutes of her wailing, I asked what we were all wondering.
“Did Melody come by?” I asked worriedly.
My mother was silent on the other end of the line. I knew she had never liked Melody, but I always thought she’d get that Mel was important to me and accept her.
“She hasn’t come by, Reisyn. I told you that girl was nothing but trouble. Look at you now—she quite literally ran you out of town without a second thought. She’s a witch, Reisyn. A witch.”
At the time, her words had thrown gasoline on a fire in my heart, incinerating any good will and love for Melody left in my heart. All that remained was despair, anger, and my hurt pride.
I didn’t talk to my mom again after that.
And she never tried to call me again.
Whatever.I sneer mentally and take a deep breath, pulling myself out of the memories before lifting the bar again. My muscles strain and it feels good. I like pushing myself.
If they were so fucking upset about leaving Melody, then why did they leave with me when I told them what we’d heard?
Push up, let down.
If they care so fucking much about her, why’d they just give up?
Push up, let down.
Do they all still love her?
Push up, let down. Sweat builds over my skin and starts to drop slowly.
Do I?
I push the bar up one more time and set it back on the hooks, letting my arms drop down for rest.
Why’d you drug her, man?They’re all asking me.
Why? Why?Why’d you do it?My mind won’t shut up. I shake my head and push my hair back in frustration. And honestly, I don’t fucking know why I did it. It was a split-second decision. She was being annoying about coming with us and I knew I couldn’t let her walk away again.
Not without getting some fucking things set straight.
