Page 138 of On The Edge
“Yeah, buthe didn’t. Paul did,” Kai snaps.
“We owe that guy,” Reis says absentmindedly.
“He got everything sorted for me and was really, really kind.” I nod, already mentally making a note to get him a coffee tomorrow.
Adam’s eyes narrow as I talk about Paul, and I have to say… I like the jealousy.
I like the possessiveness.A lot.
“Well?” Kai questions, his jaw just a little tighter. Apparently, he doesn’t like me speaking kindly about another guy either.
“I didn’t feel good, and I wanted to shower and sleep a little,” I say. Not the full truth, but not a lie either. “I want to go to the concert tomorrow without swaying on my feet.”
The words hang between us all. There’s an edge to them that I can tell isn’t normally there and my guys… they’re smart enough to pick up on it.
“I’m not going to be disrespectful and say that’s a lie,” Adam hisses through gritted teeth, “but I also know that it isn’t the whole truth.” He stands up and turns my face to his, keeping me in Kai’s arms. “We can’t help you if you don’t tell us, Echo.”
“It’s okay, I’m just tired.” I give him a smile that I know doesn’t reach my eyes, but the energy in the room shifts.
“Alright. If you say so,” Reis says on an exhale, “but the moment you want to tell us what you’re feeling, you let us know. No judgments, just love.”
I watch as they all start getting ready for bed, slowly extracting from me so they can shower and find their bags thatsecurity placed in the living area earlier. My heart’s still sore. And I just don’t know if I can trust that I’m enough.
THIRTY-SIX
I’mup high on the scaffolding, the lights hitting me just right as I do the drum solo in the middle ofTime Heals, one of our more hopeful songs.
I say hopeful because, while the lyrics bleed love and hope for the future, the guitar riff and heavy drums make it sound anything but.
Sweat is pooling near my lower back and I hit the hi-hat with as much force as I can as Reis takes over and starts the final chorus. My eyes find Mel in the wings as muscle memory takes over and my mind wanders a little.
She’s beautiful.
Even in the dark, where I can only see her face from the light of her tablet as she works for us. Our socials have seen massive increases in followers since she’s started, which is impressive seeing as we were all already up there in numbers. I looked last night after she fell asleep, my stomach in knots from what happened.
I can’t believe she thought I’d want that. That we’d throw away what we have with her for some desperate groupie. Ithought I’d fixed it, I thought she’d fallen asleep content with us all around her, but she’s been off. All day.
I tried holding her from behind while she was doing her makeup and she smiled, but it wasn’t… It didn’t quite feel like she felt it. I’m starting to get worried that the girl kissing me last night put a serious wedge between us. If she was acting like thisjustaround me, I might feel better.
Better because I’d know exactly that it was just that. I could work with that. Woo her, apologize, prove over time that I never want anyone else than her.
But it’s everyone. Reis kissed her gently and she returned it, but not with the same sparkle in her eye. Kai got all possessive about the security guard holding her hand to help her get in the SUV to take us to the airport and she didn’t smirk. Markus grabbed her thigh suggestively on the way to the venue, smiling at her, and she just shrugged. She’s not icing us outexactly, but it will be if it continues this way. We have to figure it out. And fast.
Kai mentioned in passing that he has a bad feeling. Usually I don’t buy into his gut feelings, but this time… I feel it too.
She just looks… nervous. Like she’s on edge. Tired. And not the kind of tired from the days of being on the road, no. The soul-emotional kind of tired. Like something has shifted for her and she doesn’t know how to handle it.
Fuck,I just wish she’d let us in.
The song ends—finally—and I look over to Melody, smiling down at her as she looks at me for maybe the first time since the show started. I point at her with my drumstick, blowing a kiss. Fuck, I love her so much.
So goddamn much.
She smiles back, and to my surprise, blows me a kiss. The sparkle in her eyes is clear from back here. It feels like I canbreathe again. Like the oxygen is finally being absorbed into my bloodstream and I can keep going on.
The lights flash and that’s my cue to roll the next song,Never Again,in. I hit the snare once, twice, three times rhythmically before Markus joins in with the guitar and I look over to see Mel’s attention turned back down to the tablet.
Breathing a little easier, I turn my full attention back to the music. I love playing live. It’s so fucking empowering. I’m free when I’m sitting behind this kit and letting the beats flow through my body.
