Page 36 of From My Past
I heard a knock on the door and I cautiously walked over to the dark wood, sturdy front door with a peep hole in the middle. Leaning up on my tiptoes, I looked through the small glass and hoped it was Kieron.
“It’s just me, Talia.” I heard his deep voice and saw him standing, waiting patiently for me to open the door and let him in.
“If you need some time by yourself, I understand. I can leave the clothes out here and I’ll bring you some food when it gets here.” He said loud enough for me to hear through the thick wood separating us.
He looked as if he had changed into comfier clothes as well and I eyed the pile of clothes he was holding.
Ripping the door open, I took the clothes from his arms and held them close as he laughed at my movements.
“I just brought some of my comfy clothes, if that’s alright.” He explained. “They are going to swim on you, but I always thought that too-big clothes were comfier to sleep in anyway.”
“Me too.”
His hair looked like it had been brushed and so smooth as it flowed to his shoulders. I always knew Kieron was attractive, I’d been drooling after him since the first moment I heard his voice all those years ago. But seeing this side of him; the sensitive yet powerful side that proved that no one would dare go against him, the side that would do anything to bring me comfort was breathtaking.
“So, pepperoni pizza is on its way for you, meat lovers for me, and then we can watch a movie. Sound good?” He asked and walked over to the couch, picking up the remote and flipping through the channels.
“If that’s okay with you.” My response was immediate, causing Kieron to look at me.
“Is it okay with you, baby?” He asked. I loved when he called me baby. I’d never really felt taken care of; I was- or used to be - a strong, independent woman who was fearless in the pursuit of what I wanted so I didn’t need anyone to take care of me. But the rare times where I felt vulnerable enough to be taken care of, no one was there. My sister was younger so she always needed to be taken care of, my parents decided I didn’t need them once I hit 18 years old and Luca tried but always seemed to fall short. Then the abuse started and it was my job to care for him solely.
The times that Kieron has called me baby today, I felt cherished. Like I could depend on him and he would take care of me. Like I could be vulnerable.
I nodded and smiled at him softly.
“Good. Now come over here and help me pick a movie. Then when the food gets here, you can ask me all your questions and I’ll answer them as honestly as I can.” He said, holding his hand out and dragging me towards the comfortable couch.
* * *
“What’s your first question?” Kieron asked me as I rested my back against his front, at his insistence.
“Are you seeing someone?” It may have seemed like a stupid question, but I needed to know. He was surely acting as if he wasn’t attached to anyone, but I needed to hear him say the words.
“No.” He said with a chuckle. I let go of the breath I wasn’t even aware that I’d been holding.
“Why did you leave that morning?”
“I told you why.”
“But why didn’t you say anything back then, tell me a reason? I would’ve understood.” I said earnestly and took a sip of my beer. Kieron had brought a six-pack over from his apartment while I got changed. He was right, his clothes were enormous on me. I had to roll the waistband three times to get it to even stay on my hips and cuffed the pant legs three times as well just so I wouldn’t trip over them.
“I couldn’t just open up to someone about my family running the mafia. Can you imagine if I had said ‘Oh hey, Talia. By the way, no matter how much I want this to happen, it can’t. My father is the clan leader for the Irish mafia running here in Boston and he is grooming me to take over so this can’t happen because of that. At least not right now. Wait for me? But please, I need to know how you feel just once so I can jerk off to the memory for years to come.’ That would’ve gone over greatly.” He said with a chuckle and his hand went to the nape of his neck. A nervous tick, I’ve noticed he does quite often.
“True, it wouldn’t have gone over well.” I chuckle, wrapping my arms around myself. We were still waiting for the pizza to be brought up, but it was nice. A nice break between dramatic and scary episodes, I knew it was only going to get worse before it got better.
“It was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do.” He said looking down at his feet that were propped up on the table. “But I did it for you.”
“Really?” I said with snark.
“I know it doesn’t seem like it. But you had such adventurous, hard goals that you had worked for and you were so close to finishing. I couldn’t it from you. If I’d told you about my family and what we did… you’d have to give it up in some way. Big or small, I couldn’t say. So, I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t do that to you.” Kieron said. My jaw dropped and awe filled my chest. The fact that he remembered how important my dreams of being an engineer were to me was enough to touch my heart. That added to the fact that he put aside his wants in favor of mine, that’s something that I haven’t had in a long time.
“I know it was selfish,” He started to say after a few moments of silence. “To take you home. But I felt such a strong connection to you, I just…I needed to know you.”
“I’m so glad you did.” I said softly, reaching over to take one of his large hands in between my two small ones. “The memory of our night together was what kept me sane. It would play in my head like a movie and remind me that not all people were like him. That I had been cared for, even for a moment.”
Kieron looked at me with wide and vulnerable eyes.
“You know,” he said with a slight smirk playing on his lips. “when you say things like that, it makes it very hard not to kiss you.”
