Page 74 of Sawyer
I roll my shoulders back as I meet his eyes.
“I bet this isn’t what you had in mind when wanting to look at doing life together.Are you going to be on your jet tonight, or first thing in the morning?”I give him an out.Offering him the opportunity to say he needs to run back to the city, anything to get away from me.
“I’m not going anywhere.”His voice is soft but stern.He means what he says, but I just…
“I like you, Sawyer.I really like you.But I’m not well put together.I’m not elegant, nor sophisticated.I have no money, I have two kids, I have a farm that’s barely turning a profit.I have nothing to offer a man like you.I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that… why you want to be with me seriously,” I tell him honestly, and his jaw clenches.
“Your late husband told you what he thought of you.So, let me tell you what I think of you,” he says, his eyes never leaving mine as he leans in a little closer.“You are determined.You are resilient.You’re an amazing mom to those boys.You’re smart, hardworking, and resourceful.You’re a businesswoman who’s finding success after starting from nothing.You’re a multitasker, an excellent cook, stunningly beautiful, funny, scary when you have a hoe in your hand, stubborn, prideful.You’re not great with numbers, but that’s okay, because I am.You’re the first person I’ve ever broken a dining table with.I love your smile, your wild hair.I love the way you play with your hair when you lie and the way you sound when you come.You’re all I fucking think about, Annabelle, and I meant every word I said to you tonight at dinner, and every other word before then too.I’d like to give us a go.Your past does not define who you are.You can change your story at any point, and I think what you’ve been doing since your husband died is exactly that.You’ve started rewriting your story, and from where I’m sitting, it looks like it’s going to be a dream.”
I think I forget to breathe.My vision blurs as I look into his eyes.
“No one has ever said anything like that to me before.”
He wipes another tear that falls, and I lean over, meeting him halfway to kiss him.
“Thank you,” I exhale against his lips.He’s right.I’m not my past.I can define my present and recreate a new future.My head was so locked into what it was that I couldn’t see what life is now.
With his hand still cupping my face, I look up at the house, seeing a few lights on, and I think of my boys, knowing that all the work I've been doing the past years has brought me to this moment.To this place.To meet a man like Sawyer.
“We should go inside,” I say, and he nods.
“It’s at this point I would just like to mention that I have no idea how much sugar Sutton has given the boys and am not entirely sure what we are about to walk into…”
That makes me laugh, and he grins, the two of us now feeling a little lighter for sharing.
As we step out of the car, he pulls me close, and we walk inside, eager to see my boys after being away from them.
The house is quiet, and we step into the living room to survey the damage.
“I promise Sutton is an adult… I think…” Sawyer murmurs as we look at the candy packets, glitter, rugs, and cushions sprawled everywhere.
“Looks like they had fun,” I say as he takes my hand.
“Let’s check on the kids.”
I follow him down the hall to what I assume is a spare bedroom where the kids are.Sawyer opens the door, and I pull up short.The bedroom is huge.There are bunk beds, toys, books, games.There’s a bathroom off to the side that’s bigger than mine at home, and from where I’m standing, I can see bottles of bubble bath.
“Sawyer?”I’m confused, and he rubs the back of his head, the movement familiar, and I find myself smiling.
“I hope this is alright?I had it done knowing they were going to stay over.”
My heart clenches.“You did this for the boys?”
He nods slowly, seemingly unsure of my reaction.
“They’re never going to want to leave!”I tell him, squeezing his arm playfully.His generosity is out of this world.
I walk in and go to my boys.Noah’s sound asleep, cuddling a new teddy bear, his monster spray nowhere in sight.I kiss his forehead before moving to Kevin, who’s on the top bunk.
“Hey, Ma,” he whispers, half-asleep.
“Did you have a good time tonight?”I pull his blankets up a little higher to cover him.
“The best.It was awesome.”
I kiss his forehead.“I'll see you in the morning.”
“Hmmmm…” is all I get back, and I couldn’t be more content, knowing he’s happy.
