Page 70 of Sawyer
“Well, we aren’t that dissimilar, you and me.While you kept yourself on the farm, kept your circle small, I’ve been burying myself in work for years, living and breathing my business.Growing it, yes, but not stepping out of it much.I always thought my office was my kingdom.I didn’t let anyone in unless they proved themselves, and I worked day and night, not really coming up for air.”
He’s right; we’ve been doing life on our terms, and practically solo for years, both of us.It’s nice to know that I’m not alone, which makes me feel a little more normal.
He continues, his eyes looking deeply into mine.“Now I’m starting to see a different picture, a different dream about how my life might be.”
“What does that look like for you, Sawyer?”I’m nervous about what he will say.
“It looks like quiet country nights, like throwing the ball with kids after school.It looks like home-cooked meals at the table, and doing it all with a woman who’s just as driven as I am, someone who I can rest my head with at night, someone who I want to cherish, give her everything she’s ever dreamed of, because I already know she gives me everything I could ever want or need.”
My heart thumps harder as I whisper, “That’s pretty descriptive…” He didn’t mention my name.He didn’t need to.We both know he was talking about a life with me.
“I don’t want to scare you, but I guess I just want to let you know that I’m really enjoying spending time with you, getting to know your boys, spending time in your family unit.I’m no farmer, so I’m not sure what I can offer you there, but I’m not seeing anyone else, Annabelle.You’re all I can think about and, well… I want to be exclusive.We haven’t put a label on anything, and I want to.I want to try to make a go of what we’ve started, see where it can go…”
I hold my breath at his vulnerability, needing a second to internally pinch myself.
“You’re not scaring me… I want that.I would like to see what happens, where things go…” I smile as my heart races, having never had these kinds of conversations before.
“Yeah?”He smiles back just as brightly when I nod.“I’m not sure what the next few months will look like with work.I’ll probably still be flying back and forth for a little while, but I hope we can figure it out like we have been.”
“All we can do is try, right?”
As he lifts my hand to kiss again, I notice my palms are a little sweaty.With my heart still beating like it’s trying to escape my chest, I think I need to cool off, get some air, and calm myself.I don’t want him to take my obvious overwhelm as me not being sure about us moving forward.
“I just need to use the restroom.”
He releases my hand, and I slide out of the booth, smoothing out my dress.
“Take your time.I’ll be here,” he says, his words laced with double meaning.I walk on shaky legs to the bathroom, where I hide in a stall and really pinch my skin, wondering if I will wake up, wondering if I might get my happily ever after, after all.My grin is hard to remove as I wash my hands and fix my hair, which, for once, is actually sitting just how I want it to.
Looking at myself, I’ve changed.My eyes hold more life, and I smile more now than I have in forever.It’s the first time I’ve been out of jeans like this in years, and I reach into my bag, grabbing the light-pink gloss to swipe it on my lips.
I feel good.I feel like a young woman should.I feel confident to take on this new stage with Sawyer, whatever that may look like.
I step out of the bathroom and turn the corner to walk back out to the bar, my smile wide, my head a whirl of happy thoughts.
“Thought that was you.”I hear a man’s growl, and I stop midstep, my smile leaving my face instantly.
“Stanley.”My body turns rigid.I haven’t seen Steve’s father in years, but I’d never forget him.I can smell the alcohol on him.His eyes are a little bloodshot, his face bringing back images of his son.Steve was physically, emotionally, and financially abusive.Skills he learned from his father.
“What are you wearing?Steve wouldn’t like you parading around the bar like a little slut,” he spits out, and I take a step away from him, my fear tensing every muscle in my body.
Ignoring his insult, I say, “Well, I should be going.”I try to walk around him, but he’s quick, stepping in front of me so I can’t pass and bringing our bodies closer.
“I see you’re here with that fancy new lawyer.Are you spreading your legs for him?”
I feel sick, my fear and anxiety mixing.My eyes flick around him to look at Sawyer, seeing him in deep conversation with Tanner at our table, and I take a breath and straighten my shoulders.I’ve worked hard at getting my boys and me out of the hole his son left me in.I’ve worked hard to bring happiness and light into my life, and now Sawyer is here with me.I know how good it could be.Looking back at Stanley, I narrow my eyes.Sawyer has instilled more confidence in me than my husband or his family ever did.
“What I do and who I do it with is none of your business,” I hiss at him, and his gaze turns murderous.
“You were always a stuck-up little bitch.No wonder Steve was always out, finding other women to satisfy him.Although, now you are a little older, Belle, I sure as hell see the appeal.”His eyes rake down my body and back up again, and I feel bile rising up my throat.
“Get the hell away from me,” I bite out, really wishing I had my garden hoe in my hand right about now.
“Maybe I should just take a little taste, Belle, feel your cunt.Always dreamed about it.”He takes another step toward me, and I take a step back, not wanting to be any closer to this man.
My legs shake, voice wavering as I speak louder this time.“I wouldn’t let your dirty-ass hand touch me with a ten-foot pole.Now, get out of my way.”
“Why, you little fucking bitch,” he snarls as his hand lifts, and I stand taller.I’m not going to cower, not anymore.His hand moves, and I brace for impact.
