Page 54 of Sawyer
Sawyer lowers Noah to the ground, and I grab his hand as we make our way over to the team.
“I’ve just got to talk to Bob about something.I’ll be right back.”Sawyer kisses my head, then takes off to the side.As we approach the players, I smile wide at Kevin, who gives me a sheepish grin.
“Good job, honey!You were amazing.”I give him a side hug as we start to say goodbye to all the parents.Looking over to where Sawyer is, I see him still talking to Bob.
“Thanks, Ma.”Kevin’s excitement is palpable at having another good game.
“Good job, Kevin.Brilliant running,” Sawyer says, coming back over to us.
“Thanks,” my son murmurs as he grabs his things.I look down at the small bag he carries, containing his glove and ball, and my heart clenches as I notice all the other kids with bigger bags, all with more equipment, extra clothes, and fancy looking drink bottles.“I’ll just go say bye to my friends,” he says before turning and jogging over to the kids, and I watch as they all give each other high fives.
“You alright?”Sawyer asks with a pinched brow.Obviously, my emotions are written all over my face.
“Um, yeah, just… he doesn’t seem to have all the equipment.”I look through Kevin’s bag he left with me, still eyeing the others.
“Still one of the best kids on the team, if you ask me.Probably doesn’t need all the fancy stuff.He has the skill to back it up.”
“You’re right.”I take in a breath, trying to push the feelings of not being good enough out of my body.But it’s always present, my need to provide for my family running strong.I never want my kids to go without.
“Ma… playground…” Noah says impatiently.
“Okay, kiddo, let’s go.”I ruffle his hair, just as Sawyer's phone rings.
“I’ll just take this.Meet you over there.”He frowns, and I lead my little one over to the swings.About ten minutes pass, and Kevin’s still talking with his friends, and Sawyer’s in the distance, looking increasingly concerned on his phone call.
I think about his job then.What he does, what it entails.Why would a man like Sawyer, who doesn't even really like being in Whispers, even think about me as a long-term prospect?I have this daydream that maybe he’ll stay here.That our quiet country nights might become something more permanent.It’s silly, really.He’s a rich, powerful lawyer.Maybe this is just a nice little side distraction, something to alleviate his stress from city life.That thought leaves my stomach feeling heavy as Kevin walks up to us, Sawyer now not far behind him.
“Kevin, swing your brother for a bit, and then we’ll go,” I tell him, noticing the tension in Sawyer’s shoulders as he approaches.“You alright?”I ask, sensing something is off.
“Yeah.It’s work.I need to get back to the city and sort out a few things that are pretty urgent, so I’ll get you guys home, and then I have to organize a few things and head to the jet.”
Sawyer kindly drove us today, and the kids were super excited to be in a new truck.Can’t say I minded it either; it was a nice, smooth drive.But when he talks about catching his jet in a moment's notice to go back to the city, my uneasiness from moments ago creeps right back in.The clear difference in our two lives hits me right between the eyes.
“Would you like to stay for dinner before you go?”I’m hopeful, yet the look on his face tells me the answer before he does.
He shakes his head, his gaze seemingly just as disappointed.“I can’t.I need to be in the city by tonight, and then I’ll be there for the week.”
My chest burns, but it’s not reasonable.I have no claim on him at all.He doesn’t live here.This isn’t his life.The life of a high-profile lawyer, a billionaire at that, clearly has him not committing to anyone or anything other than his work.
“Of course.”God, I sound almost needy.
“I have an issue.I need to see my team face-to-face to work it all out.”
I wave him off.“You don’t owe me an explanation.”
Reaching over, he takes my hand.“I do.I planned to spend the weekend with you and the boys, and now I'm rushing around, needing to leave.I don’t want to go.But I need to.”
I nod again, swallowing roughly.“So, how big is your law firm?”I should already know this, but my mind is full of my own workload; I don't spend time thinking about anyone else's.
“My entire team is over two hundred people.They work across corporate and commercial, mainly.But this particular client is one of our criminal cases.I personally don’t do criminal cases very often, since I don’t really enjoy the long trials.”
“Oh, okay.”I’m a little surprised.Managing a business with over two hundred people is a massive responsibility.I mean, I struggle looking after just me and my two boys and the farm, so I can’t imagine managing that many people or being responsible for putting food on the table for that many families.God, no wonder he needs to leave.I have to stop thinking about myself so much.
“Are they all in your New York office?”
“I have a small entertainment team in LA that mostly helps me manage my brother's business affairs and a few other actors and producers in the industry.I have about fifty staff over there,” he adds, and I can’t help it when my eyebrows shoot up.I’m now understanding why he’s hesitant to move to Whispers full-time like Tanner’s wanting.It makes no sense, really.
“And you now have your little office here…” I say, bringing it all together.Even just thinking about his workload is overwhelming.His work is important to him, and this small office in Whispers is never going to be enough for him.I’m never going to be enough for him.
