Page 72 of Map of Pain
Nick felt the familiar urge rising in his chest—the submissive whispering that he should apologize, should explain, should make himself smaller and more palatable. Vincentwaslooking at him with those icy blue eyes.
“Well?”Vincent said, his voice casual but expectant.“He asked you a question.”
For a moment, Nick teetered on the edge of collapse, the conditioning trying to drag him down into compliance and shame. The part of him thathadonce threatened bullies and protected his little brother surged forward.
“I stopped counting after fifty,”Nick said, his voice steady and matter-of-fact.
Vincent blinked, then cocked his head to one side. A slow grin spread across his face.
“Rookie numbers,”he said with obvious approval.“I’ve got you beat by way more than that.”
Chapter twenty-eight
The difference between love and obligation...
Luka
Luka choked up when he saw Matteo waiting for him in the VIP hallway. His twin looked... alive. Truly alive in a way Luka hadn’t seen in months, maybe years.
The hollow cheekshadfilledout, no longer sharp angles cutting shadows across his face. The dark circles under his eyes vanished, leaving his jade green eyes—mirror images of Luka’s own—bright and alert instead of dull with exhaustion. His skin had color again, supple and warm-looking rather than the gray, paper-thin texture it took on during his worst periods. Even his hair seemed more vibrant, catching the black light of the VIP area with subtle highlights.
«Matteo,»Luka started, his hands trembling with relief.«You look...»
«Better?»Matteo’s smilewasgenuine, if a little uncertain. His signs carried their old fluid grace instead of the careful economy of movement that came with severe weakness.«I feel better. More like myself.»
Luka wanted to ask how, wanted to know what worked when decades of careful coaxing and donated blood bags failed. But Ophelia’s casual mention earlier echoed in his mind—something about“amateur surgery”and“holding him down”and“gastric tube”—and he decided he didn’t actually want the details right now. What matteredwasthat Matteowashere, present, vibrant in ways that made Luka feel like he was on the verge of tears.
«I missed you,»Luka said, stepping closer. For the first time in months, being near his twin didn’t carry the weight of impending crisis. No scent of starvation, no tremor in Matteo’s hands that suggested hewashours away from losing control.
«I missed you too,»Matteo replied, his expression growing more complex.«But I understand why you needed to stay away.»
The careful understanding in Matteo’s face, the gentle acceptance, the implication that Lukaabandoned him deliberately—it sparked something hot and defensive.
«What’s that supposed to mean?»Luka furrowed his brow, trying to figure out why that was making him feel so terrible. It wasn’t a slight, was it?
Matteo’s eyes widened at the change in tone.«I just meant with your human, with Nick. I know you needed to focus on helping him, and Iwasn’t... available for conversation.»
«My human?»Luka felt heat flooding his face, his arms crossing tightly over his chest in a defensive barrier.«Is that what everyone’s calling him?»
«Luka, I didn’t mean—»
«No, apparently that’s what I do now.»Luka began pacing, his movements jerky with agitation, arms uncrossing as the need to sign overcame his defensive posture.«I abandon my twin brother for some broken Society hunter and everyone just understands why I needed to stay away.»
Matteo watched him pace, confusion clear in his expression, his fingers twitching with barely restrained responses.«That’s not what I said.»
«It’s what you meant.»Luka’s signs became larger, more aggressive, his whole body involved in the communication as he stepped closer to his twin.«Poor Matteo, so understanding about his brother finally getting tired of dealing with his shit.»
«Stop.»Matteo’s face hardened, his own signs taking on an edge Luka rarely saw, and he moved forward to match Luka’s proximity, their signing space beginning to overlap.«That’s not what I said and you know it.»
«Then what did you say?»Luka’s hands moved with sharp, angry precision, close enough now that they nearly brushed Matteo’s face.«Because it sounded like you pitying yourself while making excuses for me.»
For a moment they stared at each other in the pulsing black light, standing too close for comfortable conversation, but neither willing to back down. Their identical jade eyes caught the lighting differently in their fury, shadows and highlights making their faces look like warped mirror images.
When Matteo spoke again, his signs carried an assertiveness that caught Luka off guard, his hands moving aggressively in the small space between them.
«You want to know what I meant?»Matteo’s gestures grew bigger, more forceful, nearly invading Luka’s face as his hands jabbed the air for emphasis.«I meant that for the first time in decades, you found something that mattered more than managing myfuckingproblems. And Iwasglad for you.»
The profanity from his gentle twinwasso unexpected that Luka took a step back.
