Page 46 of Map of Pain
Stop. Luka slammed a cage down on the inferno.Not now. He needs us. He needs you present.
He dragged his gaze up, forcing the fury from his face, schooling his features into a mask of calm neutrality. He met Nick’s terrified eyes. Slowly, so slowly itwaspainful, he reached out. His hand shook, a traitorous tremor betraying the war inside him, as his fingertips found the bottom button.
It’s okay, he mouthed, the silent words as much for himself as for Nick.
He began his pilgrimage up the soft fabric. One button. His knuckles brushed against scarred, hot skin. Two. As his fingersclosed around the button just below the hollow of Nick’s throat, a hand covered his.
Nick’s touchwashesitant, but the gripwasfirm, a definitive halt. A jolt of pure heat shot up Luka’s arm, a stark contrast to the coolness of Nick’s skin. The simple, deliberate contactwasan answer, a choice. His beast, soothed, began to purr.
“Thank you,”Nick whispered, the words a breath.
He gave Nick two enthusiastic thumbs up, his joy too big to contain. For a second, Nick just stared, his own expression frozen. Then, the corner of his mouth twitched. It grew, blooming into a genuine smile thatwaslike a supernova in the dim room, igniting his eyes from within.
A hard, singular thump echoed in Luka’s chest—his heart, a powerful, solitary beat breaking a lifetime of stillness. Something glacial and ancient inside him cracked, melting into a warm, rushing sea.
“I’m gonna try and rest,”Nick said, his beautiful, rare smile fading into weary lines.
Luka held up a finger—wait—as an idea bloomed. He moved to the space between the beds and, with a few quiet grunts, shoved them closer together. He tossed the comforters and pillows into the gap on the floor, fashioning a thick, soft nest. He patted it, then pressed his palms together and laid his head against them.Sleep.
A tiny, rough chuckle escaped Nick.“Might be too soft.”
But he moved toward it, pausing only to scan the room with a hunter’s focus. His gaze landed on the window. He moved to his backpack, pulling out a roll of duct tape.
Luka watched, a quiet fascination settling over him. Nick, with his awkward grace, tore off strips of tape with his teeth and his remaining hand, his stump steadying the roll. Hewasn’tjustsecuring the room; hewassealing the gaps where the dawn would creep in. Hewasprotecting Luka from the sun.
Only then did Nick curl up in the nest, his body folding in on itself, a familiar defensive posture.
Luka sat on the edge of the arrangement, a sentinel leaving a deliberate, respectful space. He could feel the phantom weight of Nick against his chest from their previous encounter, a memory his beast longed to make real again.Stop, Luka chided himself.He needs space.
The air vibrated with unspoken tension. Then, a small shift. Nick moved an inch closer. Then another. His bodywasstill coiled, but hewasbridging the gap. Soon, their shoulderswerebarely a breath apart.
Luka could hear the rhythm of Nick’s heart accelerate. His scent blossomed—the floral notes intensifying, threading through the vanilla and concrete with something intoxicatingly sweet.
With infinite, careful deliberation, Nick leaned, his shoulder pressing against Luka’s. The contactwasa question, ready to be rescinded. Luka absorbed the weight, shifting his arm to make a better cradle, his gaze fixed on the door. He would be the wall Nick could lean against.
Taste him, his beast urged, a sudden, sharp spike of need.Just his skin.He wouldn’t mind.
No, Luka replied, a silent, iron command.We discussed this.
Then hold him.Touch his hair.Kiss him.
Quiet.
To silence the clamor, Luka closed his eyes, retreating into the one sanctuary he always carried: music. The soaring, magnificent chorale from Holst’sJupiterfilled his mind. Without thinking, he began to whistle, the notes soft and pure in the darkness.
Nick’s body went rigid beside him. Luka stopped instantly, a spike of alarm piercing his calm.
“Could you…” Nick’s voice was a ragged whisper. “Could you continue? Please?”
Surprised, Luka resumed, pouring all his focus into the melody. He kept his eyes closed, giving Nick the privacy of the dark. A warm pressure spread across his chest. Nick’s hand, laid flat against his sternum. The touchwasexploratory, his fingers trembling as they spread across the fabric of Luka’s shirt, as if trying to feel the music vibrating from his bones.
As Luka finished the final note, Nick’s fingertips drifted up, coming to rest on the scarred skin of his throat. The touchwasso unexpected, so impossibly intimate, the note faltered. Nick sat up, half-turning, his wide eyes glistening.
But hewassmiling. A genuine, radiant, transformative smile.
“That’s Jupiter,”Nick breathed, his voice a tangle of awe and hope.“I couldn’t remember it before…”
Luka stared, momentarily stunned. He nodded, patting his own chest before mouthing,My favorite.
