Page 42 of Map of Pain
Luka tilted his head questioningly, then gestured toward his lips and mimed a whistle.
“Yeah, like the one you used at the farmhouse. But different tones for different meanings.”Nick paused, accessing knowledge hehadn’tusedin years.“C for ‘okay’ or ‘safe’. B-flat for ‘danger’ or ‘duck’ based on the situation. D for ‘hide’ or ‘run’.”
Luka smiled and pointed to Nick, then mimed playing a violin.
Self-consciousness crept in as Nick held up his left arm where it ended at the wrist.“Used to,”he admitted.“Piano, mostly. Before...”He trailed off, then found himself adding with a chuckle,“Maybe I could still manage xylophone with enough duct tape.”
Luka’s face lit up, eyes crinkling as he let out a soft laugh. The soundwasdifferent from his previous laughter—quieter, more intimate.I like hearing him laugh.I want to hear it again.
Luka clapped a hand to his forehead in exaggerated inspiration, pointing at his head and making a small popping sound with his lips. The theatrical gesturewasso unexpectedly playful that Nick found himself smiling despite the circumstances.
This isn’t what I expected vampires to be like.Everything about Luka contradicted his conditioning—the gentleness, the respect for boundaries, the genuine humor.This isn’t what I expected to feel like.
Luka strode ahead a few paces, then turned to walk backward so they faced each other. He whistled—a clear, steady C note that resonated in the night air—and gave Nick a thumbs up.
Nick nodded, committing the sound to memory.Safe.
Luka whistled again—the same note but with a downward inflection that sounded mournful. Thumbs down with a slight frown.
“Not safe,” Nick interpreted.
Then a third whistle—the C note rising sharply into a D. Luka flexed his finger questioningly while raising an eyebrow.
“Checking if I’m okay?”
Luka grinned and gave two thumbs up, nodding enthusiastically.
The systemwassimple but effective, perfect for maintaining contact in dangerous situations. Nick filed the information away, but found himself more focused on Luka’s obvious pleasure in teaching him. When had someone last taken such obvious joy in sharing something with him?
Not since before I was broken,he realized.No one’s ever just... enjoyed my company before.
The thought should have triggered the submissive with its litany of unworthiness, but it seemed to be in the same place where the hunter was sulking. Instead, Nick was able to fully feel wonder at this simple exchange of trust and communication.
They resumed walking side by side, their arms occasionally brushing as they matched pace. Each contact sent a small spark of excited anticipation through his nervous system. He found himself leaning closer, drawn by the solid comfort of Luka’s presence.
You like him.
The thought should have triggered panic or shame. Instead, it felt like discovering something he thought he lost forever. His body’s responses belonged to him again, however temporary—genuine reactions to someone who treated him with kindness rather than conditioned reflexes to manipulation.
Nick stole another glance at Luka’s profile, noting how everything about the vampire radiated calm competence and gentle strength.
Is this what it feels like to want someone? To feel safe with them? To actually choose?
His gaze dropped to Luka’s lips, remembering their softness, the careful way heresponded to Nick’s impulsive kiss without demanding more.
I want to kiss him again. When I’m ready. When I choose to.
The peace that settled over Nick felt dangerous in its completeness. His mind quieted—not the blank terror of dissociation, but a gentle stillness he couldn’t remember experiencing before.
What remainedwasjust... him. Nick Walsh. Walking beside someone who asked nothing of him, who offered safety without strings, who made him laugh and feel valued andchosen.
Why don’t I feel like I’m in danger?
Nick glanced at Luka again, noting the easy confidence in his movement, the way he remained alert without appearing tense. The vampire’s presence becamesomething to lean into rather than flee from, a source of stability rather than threat.
Because he’s never hurt me,he understood.Because he respects my choices. Because he makes me feel human again.
The answers felt true in a way that bypassed logical analysis. Thiswasn’tabout Stockholm syndrome or manipulation or any of the psychological theories the hunter tried to supply. Thiswasabout recognizing safety when itwasofferedfreely.
