Page 36 of Map of Pain
As the warmth of the moment faded, Nick became aware of what he’d done. Heat flooded his face as he curled back into himself, unable to meet Luka’s eyes.
“Can I just... stay here? Just for a little while?”
The hunter protested again, still distant but still insistent:Sleeping in a monster’s arms?Have you lost your mindcompletely?
Luka nodded, his movement slow and deliberate. He made no effort to force Nick to look up at him or attempt more affection, but his embrace tightened around Nick’s shoulders. The pressure didn’t feel constraining—it made Nick feel safer, more secure, like being wrapped in a weighted blanket.
Nick’s body began to go slack as exhaustion overtook him, sleep reaching for him after days of restless vigilance. His eyelids grew heavy, his breathing deepening as he settled against Luka’s chest.
“Can we...”Nick swallowed hard.“Can we pretend that didn’t happen?”
There was a pause long enough that Nick almost looked up to see Luka’s expression. Then he felt a gentle nod against his hair, the movement careful and accepting.
Nick exhaled, relief washing away the last of his tension. He let his eyes close, surrendering to the pull of sleep despite the lingering fear. In Luka’s arms, the terror felt distant—not gone, but manageable. It was more safety than he felt in years.
Chapter fifteen
Chamomile tea, five sugars...
Luka
Luka awakened with the weight of Nick curled against his chest, a warm bundle of limbs folded into himself even in sleep. In the soft gray light filtering through boarded windows, Nick’s face showed none of the tension that haunted his waking hours. His features were slack with genuine rest, eyelashes casting faint shadows across cheekbones that had more color in them than the day before.
Something warm and wet soaked through Luka’s shirt where Nick’s mouth pressed against the fabric. A small puddle of drool had gathered there, creating a dark patch against the cotton.
His beast stretched like a contented cat within his mind.Safe.Sleeping.Ours.
The possessiveness should have alarmed him, but Luka found himself agreeingcompletely. Whatever this feeling was growing between them, he wanted to follow it wherever it led.
Nick smelled different this morning. The hospital scent was gone, replaced by something that made Luka feel warm andfuzzy for the first time in eighty years. Beneath the concrete and vanilla notes that had first caught his attention weeks ago, there was a light, almost floral undercurrent that hadn’t been there before. It reminded him of jasmine at dawn, delicate but persistent.
His authentic self, Luka realized. This was what Nick Walsh actually smelled like when fear wasn’t coating everything else.
Taste him,his beast whispered, curious and appreciative.Just once.Quick.He wouldn’t know.
The thought sent heat through Luka’s veins—not about feeding, but something more intimate, more dangerous. The desire to know what Nick’s skin tasted like, to press his lips against the pulse point at his throat, to trace the line of his jaw with his tongue.
No,Luka told his beast.Not without permission. Never without permission.
But the memory of Nick’s impulsive kiss lingered like a phantom sensation against his lips. Sweet. Hesitant. Desperate. The way Nick had leaned forward with deliberate choice, claiming something for himself rather than offering submission.
He wanted it then,his beast reminded him.Could want it again.
He asked us to pretend it didn’t happen,Luka countered, though the words felt like swallowing glass.
His beast considered this, then purredsoftly.He needed control over the moment.Doesn’t mean he didn’t want it.
The distinction mattered. Luka wasn’t sure why, but it felt true. Nick’s request hadn’t been rejection—it had been self-protection, a boundary drawn around something too precious and confusing to examine in the moment. Luka could respect that while still holding the memory close.
He remained stone still, unwilling to disturb Nick’s rest. How long had it been since he held someone like this? Decades. The simple connection of bodies sharing warmth and space withoutdemands felt like rediscovering something essential he forgot he wanted.
His thoughts drifted to Vincent the night he’d first brought Adam to meet them. The change had been immediate, a fundamental altering in his friend ofnearlysixty years. Vincent’s sharp edges softened when Adam entered a room, his customary cruelty giving way to tenderness.
Then Marcus with Caleb. One glimpse through his nightclub’s glass, and thenormallycomposed vampire had been transfixed. Marcus described it later as feeling like his dormant heart remembered how to beat.
Luka understood itintellectually—the profound connection some vampires formed with specific humans, the way these relationships made them feel almost human again. He’d nodded sympathetically while privately wondering if his friends were romanticizing normal attraction.
Now, cradling Nick against his chest, Lukafinallyunderstood. This wasn’t curiosity about a puzzle or protective instinct. This was something that made everything else fade to background noise.
