Page 110 of Map of Pain
“Richard,”Nick said, the pieces clicking into place.
Shaw’s eyes lit up with something that might have been pride.“Oh, so you’ve remembered?”
“Everything.”Nick’s voice was getting stronger, anger burning through the shock.“I remember everything.”
“Not everything,”Shaw corrected, continuing his slow circuit around the kitchen.“Otherwise this wouldn’t be such a surprise. But youcertainlykept me fed in more ways than one.”
The casual reference to feeding—to Shaw drinking his blood during—made Nick’s stomach lurch. How many times had Shaw bitten him under the guise of therapy? How many times had Nick thanked him for it?
“We’ve always had such a good dynamic, Nicholas,”Shaw continued, his voice taking on that familiar therapeutic warmth.“We can fix that pesky memory of yours. You can come back.”
Nick’s feet movedautomatically, maintaining distance, looking for advantages. The kitchen was cramped, full of obstacles and potential weapons. But Shaw was faster now, stronger,nearlyimpossible to kill.
Keep him talking,the hunter advised.Gather intelligence.Look for weaknesses.
“Why would I want to come back?”Nick asked, his hand inching toward another knife on the counter.
Shaw’s expression grew patient and indulgent.“Because you were the best hunter we’ve ever had in the state. Singularly focused, unflappable in the field as long as you had orders. Don’t you miss it?”
The question hit Nick like a slap. Did he miss it? Miss the clarity of having a mission, a purpose, someone to tell himexactlywhat needed to be done?
We don’t miss being their weapon.
“You took me out of that fucking box and you broke me, you sick fuck!”The words exploded out of Nick.“For what? For fun and games?”
Shaw’s expression shifted, disappointment flickering across his features.“No, no, Nicholas, listen. You were already a broken thing. We just put you back together with a better purpose.”
“You raped me,”Nick said, the words cutting through the air like the knife Shaw had discarded.
Shaw’s movement stuttered almostimperceptibly. A tell.He doesn’t like direct confrontation about what he did,Nick noted with cold satisfaction.
“I gave you a purpose!”Shaw snapped back, his composed mask slipping for the first time.“What have you done since Henderson hasn’t been around to give you orders? Hmm?Probablythe same thing you did when we found you—cycled between states of catatonia and rage. We gave you a way to exist.”
Nick’s hand closed around the handle of a serrated bread knife, his movements casual, non-threatening. Shaw was getting agitated, defensive.Good.
“You raped me,”Nick repeated.“And you let Owen and Henderson and god knows who else use me. I trusted you.”
The last three words came out broken, carrying the weight of years of betrayal. Shaw had been his lifeline, his anchor, the person who’d pulled him from the wreckage of Gianmarco’s conditioning and taught him to function again. To learn that it had all been another form of abuse—
Shaw lunged, vampire speed carrying him around the kitchen island in a blur. Nick threw himselfsideways, the bread knife cutting a wild arc through the air. The blade caught Shaw across the ribs, opening a line of red through his shirt, but the vampirebarelyflinched.
Shaw’s backhand sent Nick stumbling into the walk-in freezer door, stars exploding across his vision. Before he could recover, Shaw pinned him against the cold metal.
“Enough,”Shaw snarled, his fangs inches from Nick’s throat.“This tantrum has gone on long enough. You’re going to calm down, you’re going to remember your place, and you’re going to thank me for being patient with you.”
Submit,the submissive said.Let him think he’s winning. Get him overconfident.
Fight.Knee to the groin. Headbutt to the nose. Break his grip.
“No,” he said.
Shaw’s grip tightened.“I’m sorry?”
“I said no.”Nick’s voice was calm, steady, andcompletelyhis own.“I’m not going back. I’m not thanking you. And I’m sure as hell not letting you touch me again.”
For a moment, Shaw lookedsurprised. Then his expression shifted, becoming almost wistful.
“I heard about you, you know, before you joined us,”Shaw said. “Whispers of Nicoletti’s broken kitten. I wanted to help you. That’s why I had my maker go to him and make him susceptible to us. We saved you.”
