Page 106 of Map of Pain
Give him what he wants,Nick thought, letting desperation creep into his tone.“I’m sorry,”he whispered.“I’m sorry, I was confused, I wasn’t thinking—”
“Sorry?”Shaw’s tone rose to a shout.“Sorry doesn’t bring them back! Sorry doesn’t undo the damage you’ve done to our mission!”
Perfect,Nick thought as Shaw’s control slipped.Keep going.
Then, asquicklyas it came, the rage disappeared. Shaw’s expression softened, his demeanor returning to that paternal tone.
“But I know it wasn’treallyyou,”Shaw saidgently, crouching down to Nick’s level again.“My Nicholas wouldn’t betray his brothers. My Nicholas is a good hunter, a loyal soldier. That creature corrupted you, didn’t it? Twisted your thoughts until you couldn’t tell friend from enemy?”
Nick noddedfrantically.“Yes. Yes, it confused me. I’m a good hunter. The Society rebuilt me, made me better. I’m a good boy.”
Let him think he’s winning,Nick reminded himself as Shaw’s features warmed.
“Of course you are,”Shaw murmured, reaching out to stroke Nick’s hair with gentle fingers.“My best boy. My perfect weapon. But we have to make sure the corruption is gone, don’t we? We have to purge every trace of that monster’s influence.”
“Tell me about your relationship with it, this new monster,”Shaw said, his tone taking on that clinical edge.“But this time, I want details. I want to knowexactlyhow it corrupted you.”
He wants the intimate details,Nick realized with cold clarity.He’s getting off on this. Use it.
“Please,” Nick whimpered. “Please don’t make me—”
Shaw’s hand tightened in his hair, yanking his head back.“Did I stutter, Nicholas? When your handler asks you a question, you answer.Completely.Truthfully.”
“It—we lived together,”Nick choked out, accessing real memories while protecting their sacred parts.“He was gentle with me. He made me feel...”
“Safe?”Shaw finished, his words dripping with false understanding.“Of course it did. That’s how predators work, Nicholas. They make their prey feel special, protected, loved. Just like Gianmarco did.”
Don’t react,Nick told himself as fury blazed through him at the comparison.Stay on mission.
“It wasn’t like that,”Nick protested with calculated defiance—just enough to make Shaw work for his compliance.
Shaw’s grip tightened again, more painful this time.“Wasn’t it? Did it bite you, Nicholas? Did it feed from you while you were helpless?”
He wants humiliation,Nick understood.Give him enough to satisfy the hunger.
“Yes, but—”
“Did you enjoy it?”
“Yes.”
“Did you beg for more?”
For Luka,Nick reminded himself as he forced out the admission.“Yes.”
Shaw released his hai, standing and beginning to pace again.“Classic predatory grooming. It found your weakness—your need to be useful, to be wanted—and exploited it.”
Nick bit back his real response, instead offering token resistance that Shaw couldeasilycrush.“That’s not—”
Shaw spun around, fury blazing in his eyes again.“Are you arguing with me, Nicholas? Are you defending that monster?”
Nick flinched.“No! No, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinkingclearly—”
“No, you weren’t,”Shaw agreed, his words deadly quiet.“Because that creature scrambled your brains. Made you think torture was love and that submission was choice. It destroyed everything we built together.”
Shaw moved closer, and Nick could see something dangerous in his expression—the real Shaw emerging from behind the therapeutic mask.Almost time.
“But I can fix you,”Shaw continued, dropping to a whisper.“I can purge every trace of that monster’s influence. Every touch, every kiss, every moment of false pleasure it gave you. We’ll replace it all with proper conditioning. Kneel against the wall.”
