Page 39 of The App Trap
“You know that the buyer could be someone local? They could even be someone that sees you in Sainsbury’s all the time,” I warned.
“Oh, what? I didn't think of that.”
“I’ll leave you with that. I’ve gotta go and meet a mate,” I said.
Ben had sacrificeda night of dating for a catch-up. I filled him in on the two great stories that my brother had told me. Needless to say, he hardly batted an eyelid.
“Oh, that reminds me to tell you about an estate agent with a puppy-play fetish that I’m seeing at the moment,” he said, blowing on his nails.
“I somehow knew you were gonna say something like that. Those fetish sites really are your thing, aren’t they? I bet my brother is on all the same ones as you. Here, do you recognise this fella?” I called up his Facebook profile.
“Can’t say I do,” said Ben.
“Damn.”
“You should try one out. You get some proper wild ones on there. I reckon you’d love it,” he added.
“Aren’t the people on there all a bit ‘hurty’, though?” I asked.
Ben laughed.
“You’ve heard of safe-words, right?” said Ben, patting my hand reassuringly. “Give it a whirl. Something a bit different could do you the world of good,” he added, biting his lip.
“We’re never gonna have sex, are we?”
“No way. I couldn't do it to you. I’d feel awful putting you through all the stuff I like. You're too sweet.”
“But you’d still like to if I wasn't?” I asked, trying to grab a cheap ego boost.
“Maybe. I can’t deny there’s a pinch of chemistry between us, or I wouldn't have snogged your face off.”
“Or made my tongue bleed.”
“Did I? Sorry, don't know my own strength. Anyway, we’re both busy with other ‘projects’, aren’t we? And I think we’re pretty much friend-zoned now anyway. No going back from that,” he said, wisely.
I shrugged in agreement.
“I’m supposed to be trying to find a proper boyfriend anyway. It’d make Mum so happy, and I’ve got a bad feeling she’s not got long left. She’s not responding to any of the therapy and she keeps doing all these NLP tricks on me to calm me down and put me off the scent of what’s really going on.”
“Clever girl,” said Ben, peering over his work glasses.
“You look good in those.”
“I know,” he replied, licking his lips and igniting that tiny bit of chemistry between us that I was gripping onto.
I shivered the fantasy that was creeping into my mind away and carried on the conversation. “Have you ever thought about giving all this up and settling down with someone?” I asked.
“No chance, not for me. I’m a total sex addict. I thrive off of depravity. It makes me happy. It doesn’t ruin my health like alcohol, drugs and cigarettes. I use alcohol, drugs and cigarettes to do that. Some people just aren’t born to be monogamous. There’s nothing wrong with that. Sex is such a natural thing that we all deserve. Besides, the attention I get from apps is such a fucking ego boost, it’s unreal. Do you know, I was always the fat, ugly kid at school that nobody talked to or wanted to be seen with? People would snog me, but never admit it to their friends. I had no confidence for years and now men are falling over themselves to get a date with me.”
“You know what, Ben? You're all right.”
“Love you too, Daniel,” he said as he went to playfully twist my nipple.
I blocked his arm with what I imagined was another slick karate move, minus the ‘knocking his Whisky Mac onto the floor’bit.
“You twat,” he said, correctly.
After replacing his curiously tasty beverage, I asked him what his plans were for the weekend.
