Page 37 of The App Trap
“Hmm,” I said, unconvinced.
I dropped Mum off at hers and walked her into the lounge. “Okay, anything you need, give me or Finn a ring. I’ve gotta go into work now, but call me if you’re feeling rubbish.”
“I’ll be fine, Lovely. Thank you. I’m just gonna have a little doze.”
I left her, and as soon as I stepped off of the driveway, I received an ominous and quite frankly frightening text from my landlady.
‘YOU CAN FORGET THAT £500!!!! I’VE JUST SPOKEN TO THE ESTATE AGENT.’
What? It was usually hard to tell whether or not she was angry, because she was old and always typed everything with caps-lock on. This time, though, I could tell that she was paralytic with rage.
I tried to decipher what was going on. I’d received a text from the estate agent an hour or so ago saying that they were going to do a last-minute viewing. I had agreed to deal with the agents as Finn always felt like resorting to violence whenever he dealt with their kind. As he was close to being promoted to detective, Finn thought it best to distance himself from such temptations.
Something was amiss here though. I was pretty sure that the flat was in an acceptable state when I left it this morning. Maybe Finn had knocked out the estate agent? I’d totally forgotten to warn him that there was one coming over.
I frantically dialled my brother, but to no avail. I left a message strongly advising Finn to call back as I was too scared to reply to our seemingly furious landlady. It was one of my life rules to never engage in a text conversation that involved capital letters. It inevitably always led to trouble.
Why wasn't my brother answering his phone? I feared the worst.
Chapter
Twelve
Iraced home after work in the hope that I’d catch Finn before he left for his night-shift. I bolted into the flat, chucked my pointless man-bag into the kitchen, then ran to Finn’s bedroom where I found him slurping on a glass of very weak Ribena.
“What the hell has been going on today, and why am I £500 worse off?”
Finn held up his hands. “Look. I may have fucked up a teeny-weeny bit.”
I folded my arms tightly and fixed a gaze upon him.
“Oh. Right, okay,” said Finn. “So, I had the day off… as you know. I thought I’d have a little scout around this dating app…”
“A filthy one? Be honest, now’s the time.”
“A filthy one. Don't pretend to be disgusted, because I know you’re up to the same old shit,” said Finn, waggling his finger at me erratically.
“Whatevs. Anyway, this isn’t about me, so, spill.”
“So, I found a girl who, in my humble opinion, was ‘a bit of me’.”
“Girls this week, is it?” I interrupted.
Finn shrugged.
“I told you, I like to mix it up. Anyway, she told me that she liked to travel around to different bloke’s houses day or night, have sex with them, then immediately leave. Sometimes she’d do up to three visits a day. Can you believe that?”
“I can, actually, but carry on,” I replied, tapping my still non-existent watch.
“It just so happened that I was in her ‘delivery’ area as it were. Kind of like a one-woman sexy Ocado van, I suppose.”
I squinted.
“Ahem. Anyway, the chat was getting a bit on the saucy side and she seemed to be a very um… sexually adventurous woman. Before I knew it, she’s relaying all manner of fantasies to me, one of which she was desperate to act out––today.”
“Which was…?” I asked.
“Well, okay. So, she asked me whether I would strip naked, blindfold myself, and sit in my room stroking my um… old chap, waiting for her to let herself in.”
