Page 24 of The App Trap
“Do you know what? I thought I recognised that spanking paddle,” I said, nodding over to theGame of Throneschair.
Ben looked at Luke.
“Oh, do you know each other?” asked Luke, sarcastically.
“Yeah, we were supposed to be shagging tonight, but apparently, he had the shits,” Ben replied, again, sarcastically.
“Now, I didn'tactuallysay that,” I interjected.
“You are seriously terrible at serial-dating. If you're gonna lie, then at least do your homework. Don’t end up with the flatmate of the person you’ve just blown out. Schoolboy error,” said Ben.
“It was you he was texting in the pub, wasn’t it?”
Ben nodded.
“How was I supposed to know? I mean, sorry. Oh, I genuinely don't know what to say, I really don’t…” I said, totally devoid of any etiquette, and forever growing more conscious of my predicament of still having my legs strung up to the upper bedframe.
“Well, if you'd looked at Luke’s profile properly, you’d see that there’s a picture of us both on there. In fact, there are two. The other one, I cropped for my main pic,” said Ben, taking out his phone and flicking through his pictures.
“Oh yeah,” I said in a musical tone of inappropriate merriment.
It was the picture of Ben with the spanking paddle. In the background was the bed that I was currently hanging from.
“I think we should teach him a lesson. Where’s his phone?” asked Luke, sifting through the pockets of my jeans on the floor.
“Whoa… what?” I screamed, panicked.
Ben did a double-take as Luke continued rummaging and found my phone, which didn't have a passcode on it for laziness reasons. He sparked up the camera and took apicture of me that wouldn't have looked out of place in a Chinatown restaurant window.
Ben looked on quizzically, clearly wondering what on earth Luke was up to.
“Ah. There she is: Mum Mobile,” Luke sang.
Then I twigged.
“Ah, man… please, no!”
“Too late,” said Luke, with a satisfied, pursed smile.
“No!” screamed Ben, sounding a lot like Luke Skywalker finding out who his father is, as he realised far too late what had happened.
The rage I felt at this dick move almost made my head explode.
“You fucking top tier twat. You can do whatever you like to humiliate me, but don’t involve my mum. She’s got fucking cancer,” I shouted.
Luke looked sheepishly at Ben, but Ben raised his palms and looked towards me, mortified on Luke’s behalf.
I flopped down onto the bed. Well, as much as I could with my legs dangling above my head.
They both quickly released me from my predicament and Luke picked up my clothes and handed them to me, his head hanging in shame.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t-”
“Save it,” I interrupted and fumbled through my jeans to try and find a missing sock, but to no avail.
I stood up and looked at them both, standing there as if they had been called to the headmaster’s office. I tutted and stormed off down the hallway.
Ben followed me, leaving Luke looking forlorn in the master bedroom.
