Page 16 of The App Trap
As soon as I got home, I crashed into bed and called up some pictures of Ben on my phone, which I expertly thumbed through with my free hand. On closer inspection, I could see now that the table-tennis bat in his profile pic was actually a spanking paddle, which made way more sense now.
Due to my ever-decreasing concentration span, I almost immediately got distracted with the thought of finding another date, so went for a quick swipe (not a tacky euphemism).
As soon as I logged on to my dating app, a white speech bubble from Ben appeared in the live chat box on my screen:
‘Caught you! x’
Chapter
Seven
Ijoined Finn at the breakfast bar for a spot of bircher muesli; a breakfast that masqueraded itself as a lot healthier than it actually was, for the record.
“So… these dating apps,” I said, “Is it weird to go back online straight after you’ve been out with someone? I think someone got a bit tetchy about that last night, even though he seems to date a platoon a day.”
“Well, yeah I suppose itisweird if you think about it, but you’ve got to ask yourself… what weretheydoing online as well?” replied Finn, rightfully wagging his finger.
“An interesting point, brother.”
“There’s not a written rule as such. You can go out with someone for a couple of weeks, see them logging on, and still notreallybe in a position to kick off. These days you sort of date someone until you’re really sure you want to give up your single life for them. The trouble is that it’s so addictive. People just don’t seem to want to give up dating these days,” said Finn.
“By people, you mean you, yeah?”
Finn tutted, then thrust forward his wrists as if to receive virtual handcuffs.
“Look, even if you do find someone cool, there’s always that slim chance that a new match is gonna be better. There’s too much bloody choice out there. I mean it’s a lot to give up, right?” he said, with a pinch of desperation and just a dash of resignation.
“Yeah, it is. That’s what I’m beginning to be a bit scared of. It’s hideously addictive.”
“I suppose the cut-off point is around a month. Or maybe two,” said Finn, with some authority.
Finn had only officially split from his wife for less than a month and already seemed to know a hell of a lot about this game. Maybe he’d been ‘using’ for longer than he made out?
“So anyway, I got this message from the guy I went out with last night. When he saw me online afterwards, he said,‘Caught you!’. He was joking, right?”
“I guess. Well, half joking, anyway. Was there an exclamation mark?”
“Yeah. Just the one, mind.”
“And a kiss?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, well you're grand, then. Anyway, he’s only human, and the fact he saw you sniffing around online after the date means he knows that he clearly wasn't enough for you. That’s gotta feel a bit sore, right?” said Finn.
“Shit. Well, yeah. But like you say… what washedoing online?”
“Exactamundo.”
My brain imploded. Modern dating was clearly a cutthroat business. I wasn't even sure I wanted this in my life anymore. The whole process seemed to be designed in away where everyone eventually ended up feeling terrible about themselves. Actually, who was I kidding? It was great!
“What’s the matter with your face, anyway? You seem a bit distracted,” I asked Finn, as he solemnly chased the remaining dry cornflakes around his bowl with his spoon.
“Listen, I’ve found a flat. I didn't wanna tell Mum today, what with all that’s going on with her. I know she wants us both here, but I really wanna go and look at it.”
“So, go and look at it.”
“The trouble is, it’s two bedrooms, which means I can't really afford it on my own. I was gonna ask you, but then that’d mean Mum would be on her own and I feel like such a dick for even thinking about this…”
