Page 81 of Fever Dream
“Henrietta,” I sigh, voice scratchy from the pre-dawn hour.
“What is theonething I said to you as I kissed your gorgeous, silly head goodbye at Heathrow in March?” she demands, no time for niceties.
“Heni, it’s four a.m. In themorning,” I sigh.
“Theonething, Harrison. Stop deflecting. I know you remember.”
I let out the most long-suffering sigh of my life and tip my head back. Casey is sprawled out beside me, still in a restful dream state and I envy him for a brief moment before I haul the comfortable sheets off me and step out of the bedroom. I probably would have preferred this conversation with my sister whilst not being naked but anyway.
“You’ll have to remind me. I don’t recall. Especially not at four a.m. In themorning.”
“Don’t give me that innocent act, Harrison James Thornfield. You remember exactly what I said,” she says. It’s kind of impressive the way I can picture the precise way she will be glaring at me, even over the distance of ten thousand miles.
“Something about keeping hydrated on the long-haul flight?” I mull, just to annoy her. I remember her words. We both do.
“Do not play games with me young man,” she returns with a huff.
“Heni, do I need to remind you that you are not my mother, and I am, in fact, a perfectly functioning adult man?”
“Tell me what I said, Harrison Thornfield.”
I decide to stop toying with her, pausing before I say, “You told me not to fall in love with an Australian man.”
“And what have you done?”
I sigh. “Fallen in love with an Australian man.”
Henrietta sighs in a way that even Casey would approve. “I knew this was going to happen. I just knew it. You’re far too pretty for your own good, baby brother. Well, Charles is going to be devastated. There’s no way around that. How am I supposed to break the news to him that his boyfriend has moved on? Huh? Harrison? Just promise me it’s not one of your footballers at least.”
I say nothing, silence confirmation enough.
“Harrison? Tell me it’s not one of your footballers.”
“It’s not a footballer?” I repeat, posing it as a question.
“I cannot bloody believe this. Harr-i-son,” she whines, worthy of a toddler. “Sydney is an entire hemisphere away. You can’t fall in love with someone who is going to keep you so far away from me.”
Ah. There’s the truth of the matter come out in an extremely roundabout way. Her sincerity makes me soften.
“I know, Heni. I get it. I do. It’s all kind of just a bit of a mess anyway. It’s not like I can stay here after my visa expires either so ...”
She must pick up on the quiet devastation in my words because all the ire instantly drops from her tone. “Oh Harrison. What are we going to do? You really love him, huh? Is it Casey?”
“Yeah, it’s Casey. And yeah, I really love him.”
“Well, we can’t have my baby brother wallowing in heartache all on his lonesome on the other side of the planet.”
“No, we really don’t want that,” I agree. I curl up on the bed in Casey’s guest room, the room that used to be mine before I upgraded to the master. I pull the blanket over me as I settle in for an unexpected but probably necessary heart to heart with my older sister who makes me feel just a tad less hopeless about my situation.
***
I manage to avoid giving Casey an answer onthatquestion, the one he dropped oh-so casually, but I know it’s there in the background, an ever-present distraction for both of us.
A week with a footballer begins and ends with match day and everything else falls into preparation or recovery. That old cliché ofone week at a timeis a really neat summary of how the club truly operates. Last week we focused on hosting the Melbourne Magic at the Fever Pitch, a game the Fever win. The week after that is a trip up north to Brisbane to take on the Moreton Bay Stingrays which the Fever narrowly lose.
In the midst of all the preparation and recovery are the spaces Casey and I carve out for ourselves. I love being with him. I love cooking together in his kitchen or mine where I cook and he distracts but he does it so sweetly and innocently that I can only smile. And I love curling up on the sofa with him or taking a naked swim in his heated pool. And I love meeting up with Sonny and Izak and some of the other boys too where we remind ourselves there is more to life than just each other.
And I love when we’re alone together and we can explore each other with the touch of our hands or the kiss of our mouths, where we can occupy each other completely and totally. I understand Casey’s addictions because I feel the same way about him.
