Page 26 of Fever Dream
Ben is silent for the moment as he navigates crossing three lanes of traffic on a fast-flowing freeway before heading for the exit. “And Casey? How are you finding him?”
I pause for a beat too long and hope Ben doesn’t notice. “Casey’s great. He’s a lot. But he’s great.”
“Yeah, kind of a coach’s dream that one,” Ben agrees. “He must have hated sitting on the sidelines this week.”
“You have no idea,” I mutter to myself. The drive is silent for another minute until I clear my throat. “Hey, um, what’s the deal with hanging out with the players? Like, is that allowed?”
Ben chuffs out a laugh. “You don’t need to worry about that, mate. We Australians are an egalitarian bunch. Nobody’s going to pull you up on that. Not unless you get too close and it starts clouding your judgement, but I wouldn’t worry about that. We all know what Casey’s like. Very hard to say no to.”
“You’re telling me,” I chuff, not aware I was clutching onto something tight in my chest while waiting for Ben’s answer. I’m aware it’s something I probably should have checked before I started practically living with Casey, but I didn’t really think to ask before now. And maybe, just maybe, that would have given me an out, a way to say no to the guy I am helpless to refuse.
But then again, I know that deep down I really,reallydon’t want to refuse, Casey. That I love hanging out with him even if it hurts something horribly that I can’t have him the way I want him. But even small parts of Casey are sometimes enough. He’s just so much … larger than life. Almost too much for any one person to try and hold and tame and pin down. I doubt I’d ever be enough for someone like him even if he did happen to look at me the way I wished.
But a guy can always dream.
CHAPTER 12
casey
I’m alone. And I hate being alone. My house is too big, my walls too white. My thoughts too loud, too enormous, too unsettled. I shouldn’t be left alone. Doesn’t anyone realise that I shouldn’t be left alone?
I almost begged Harrison to come home with me at the airport earlier this morning. But he’d been giving me some vibes that he maybe needed a break from me. And I get that. I know I’m a lot. I know I lean on him more than I should but he’s just … my Harry. And Harry is my best friend.
And best friends phone each other, right? Like, it would be totally acceptable for me to just pick up my phone and call him. That would be well within the boundaries of best friendship. Like having full access to his dimples. It’s just the same really.
I sigh and throw my phone to the other end of the sofa and try to ignore it. Netflix is on in the background and it’s competing for my attention. There’s a lot of sex on the screen. A lot of skin and naked bodies and jiggling parts getting it on in a way that is kind of sexy.
I sigh and reach for my phone. I dial Harrison’s number before I can stop myself.
“Case,” he says. I can hear the smile in his voice, can hear his cosiness and the way his dimple shines when he looks at me. He sounds sleepy and I picture him lying on his sofa, those long legs taking up all the space, his brown curls loose around his face.
“Hey,” I say. “Am I disturbing you?”
“You never disturb me,” he replies. I smile and relax further into the sofa.
“What are you doing?”
“Just lying here on the sofa, flicking through Netflix. What are you doing?”
“Same. Just put on a show and thought of you.”
“What are you watching? I’ll watch with you.”
“Okay,” I say with a grin on my face. I tell him the name of the show and he sets it to play. I restart the episode which is no issue as I’d only been watching the sexy bits anyway so we can watch together. Kind of.
I can hear the opening credits of the program down the line and settle back into the sofa a little more, getting nice and comfy. “So what did you do today?”
Harrison chuffs a laugh. “I did some really boring but very necessary things that I shan’t bore you with the details of.”
“Please do bore me,” I protest. “I want to know.”
“Well, if you must know, I did three loads of washing including the sheets and towels and then I wandered down to the corner shop for supplies for the week.”
“For your gross green smoothies?”
“They are not gross, thank you very much,” he huffs. “I’m going to make you a smoothie next time you’re here. And you’re going to love it.”
“Agree to disagree. But I’ll try it. For you. Cos we’re best friends.”
