Page 24 of Fever Dream
“Yeah, course,” Casey replies, trying to laugh it off. But I see him. I see the way those words have cut him to the core. I know how the accusations of selling out for money hurt him because I know the real him and I also know he’d bloody well play this game for free. That’s how much he loves it.
“You okay?” I ask, brushing the back of his hand again.
He just nods, biting on his lower lip. “Let’s go in,” he says. He marches straight into the foyer and to the bank of elevators while I trail behind him, Sonny and Izak with us too. They are laughing about the incident, and I can’t blame them for not realising how affected Casey is from having the supporters who used to love him turn on him so severely.
Sonny and Izak get off the elevator on floor seven. “You good, bro?” Sonny asks again. Casey nods and smiles until the doors close behind them and he shuts back down. As soon as it’s just us he sighs deeply, head tipping back against the wall. I am inordinately pleased he doesn’t feel the need to hide from me.
But I also don’t have the words to comfort him because I don’t know how it feels. I don’t know what it’s like to be once so adored and then become public enemy number one in an instant. How it must hurt.
“I know who you are, Casey Calloway,” I tell him instead, reaching down to link his pinkie with mine. I want to hug him but I can’t quite read him right now. But he’s quick to link his pinkie with mine and he holds it until the elevator lands on our floor and the doors slide open.
“I’m going to have a shower,” Casey announces the minute we step into our room. I don’t stand in his way but I wait outside the door for a minute, heart tearing for the gorgeous man behind the door until I hear the water running.
I sigh, wishing I could rewind tonight and save him from that moment. If those idiots could just see past their own bias they would know how amazing Casey is, how dedicated he is to football and his fans. How soul destroying it is for him to hear those accusations made against him.
The water is still running in the shower so I strip out of my clothes and pull on a pair of loose boxers. I slip into bed and wait for Casey, not sure what to expect when he comes out.
Half an hour later the shower is still running, and I am officially concerned. I pad over to the door, knocking softly.
“Casey?” There’s no sound from him on the other side so I don’t hesitate to try the door, finding it unlocked. I push it open and he’s right there, standing under the stream of water, looking more dejected than I’ve ever seen him. His head is tipped down, water cascading down the back of his neck as he leans an arm against the tiles and my heart fractures.
“Case?” I try again. When he doesn’t respond I step into gear, reaching into the shower to turn off the tap. That seems to wake him because he looks up at me then and I don’t miss the red rims in his eyes. I grab for a towel and step towards him, hugging it around his shoulders.
“Come on, darling,” I encourage, taking his hand and leading him out of the shower. He leans against the vanity while I grab another towel, using this one to dry his hair, painfully ignoringhis perfect naked body as he watches me with soulful eyes. I crouch down to dry the rest of him, and I think it is testament to how hard my heart is pounding with concern for him that I am able to do so without focusing too much on that perfect cock hanging soft and heavy between his legs.
I rise to my feet and try and circle his waist with the towel but he is not cooperating so I just keep my hand there as I direct him out of the bathroom.
“Bed,” I direct, pushing him down onto the mattress. I’m not surprised when he clasps onto me, and I don’t stop him as he pulls me down with him. I lose my grip on the towel, and it falls away, but Casey does not care about the fact he is completely naked. And really, I am not even thinking about that right now either, my need to take care of him overpowering my flagrant desire for him.
He grips onto me like I’m his life raft and I don’t mind being that for him right now. He leans his head on my shoulder and my hands thread his hair the way I know he likes, legs twining with mine.
He is silent for so long that I think he might have fallen asleep. Neither of us has moved and I know I’m going to be here for the long haul when he finally speaks.
“Money was the last thing on my mind when I took the offer from the Fever,” he says, voice scratchy and full of emotion.
“I know. I know it was, darling,” I assure him, stroking his face as he snuggles in tighter, breath warm against my chest.
“It’s just, Mick Brabham called me out of the blue and nobody ignores a call from Mick Brabham. And he offered me something that no other team could offer me and for the first time, it didn’t sound like empty promises,” he continues. His hand finds its way onto my hip, fingers tracing light patterns on my skin that shoot sparks through my entire body until it becomes impossible to ignore the way his cock rests against his thigh.
“I couldn’t say no, Harrison. I couldn’t say no to the faint hope of playing a game pain free. Of being able to wake up the day after and walk without hobbling like an eighty-year-old.”
“I know, Casey,” I repeat, running a hand down his spine. Up again in a soothing gesture. “And you know what else I know? You don’t owe anyone else that explanation. Your career is yours. Your decisions are yours. Those people might think they’re owed something from you but they’re not. You’re answerable to yourself alone and you did what is best for you and your career. No one else is entitled to that.”
“Yeah,” he says, nodding his head against my chest. “I know that too.” His sigh is heavy, carrying the weight of the world in its sound. I feel moisture on my chest, but I don’t comment on it as I just let this beautiful, broken, naked boy take everything I can offer him.
And expect nothing in return.
***
I wake up alone the next morning, no sign of the naked boy who fell asleep in my arms last night. But my shoulder is sore and I assume that is because I cradled Casey in my arms all night. Not that I mind that one bit, but can it just be acknowledged for a moment that I am an actual martyr? I deserve a gold medal for my restraint last night. I basically slept with an elite, naked athlete, the kind of guy dreams are made of, and I kept my hands entirely to myself.
Well, from all the fun parts that is. Ididadmittedly get to stroke quite a bit of that delectable body, but I kept it all above the waist.
Still. My cock is most unimpressed with me this morning and I use the time and the vacant room to take the edge off in the shower. Anybody who slept with a naked Casey Callowayentwined around them all night would need to do the same. Judgement is not warranted.
I pull my clothes on afterwards and pack my suitcase, realising now that Casey must have already packed as his duffel bag is nowhere in sight. I’m pondering the meaning of this when I hear the swipe of the card at the door and the man occupying my thoughts steps into the room.
For someone so completely at home in his own skin, Casey is a little vulnerable this morning, eyes downcast on the floor and not at all like the guy I have grown so used to. I’m the first to admit I want my old Casey back.
