Page 72 of Fast Break
“And where is this attitude coming from?” Mum demands, her tone sharp. “I hope this is not the influence of your newfriend. Because you know we’ve made certain choices as a family. You know we decided long ago to prioritise our family and our ministry, which will always come first.”
“Yeah, I always hear you say those words. The ones about prioritising family,” I say, all the years of indignation and missed games and guilt and manipulation coming to the fore. “Well, I’m family too, aren’t I? When do I get to be prioritised?”
“Those are the choices we’ve made as a family,” Mum replies defensively. “And the ministry is always going to be far more important than a silly basketball game.”
I scoff out a bitter laugh. “To you, yes. You’ve made that abundantly clear over the years. But to me, basketball is the most important thing in my life. And yet you never let me think it mattered to you. ThatImatter to you.” I pause and take a deep breath. “I didn’t tell you about the game on purpose. And I suppose that’s because I’ve gotten used to not having your support that I no longer need it.”
“Now Jethro Thomas—” Dad starts, but I am not done yet.
“And you know what? It doesn’t even matter anymore because I have plenty of support at my games. Uncle Alec and Aunty Billie are there, Bethany and Archie, Grandma and Grandpa. They’re there every week, supporting us.”
I’m on a roll, all those thoughts and feelings I’ve been shutting down are coming out, and there’s no stopping what comes out next—even though the rational part of my brain is telling me to shut it down.
“And Quinn was there too,” I add. “And not just Quinn but his mum and grandma even came out to support me. Can you believe that? His Gran, who I only met on Friday night, was there holding a navy and silver pompom in the stands. For me. So don’t worry about support. I have plenty.”
I’ve obviously said too much because my parents are definitely sharing concerned glances with each other now but I’m too pent up to notice or care.
“Why do you keep talking about Quinn like that?” Mum finally asks, a quiver to her voice. “Why are his family at your games?”
It’s only then I realise how much I’ve divulged, that they’ve seen more than I meant to let them see. But I’ve come this far already, and adrenaline is still urging me on. This weekend has only confirmed for me that Quinn is the most important person in my life. I need to claim him.
So I let out the breath I’ve been holding and say, “Because he’s not just my friend. He’s my boyfriend.”
It’s like I’ve just lit the fuse to a bomb with a ticking countdown clock as my parents stare at me, undisguised shock on their faces. The loud whooshing noise in my ears is the only sound in the otherwise silent room, my parents’ faces mirror images of shock and dismay.
“Before you say anything,” I add, my voice suddenly wobbly as the wind falls out of my sails. “This is not some teenage confusion. I’ve been dating Quinn for a few months now. Quinn’s even met all the family, and they love him too. Well, all the family except this one because I know full well he will never be welcome in my own house among my own family.”
The shock seems to clear at this point as a flicker of anger passes across my dad’s face. “Well at least we agree about something,” he finally seethes. “You know how we feel about that lifestyle. You can’t expect us to change our values just because you’re having an identity crisis.”
“Teenage years can be very confusing,” Mum adds. “I’m sure it’s not too late to turn back from whatever path you’re walking.”
“Quinn is the one thing I am not confused about,” I reply firmly. “And it is too late. Much too late.”
I stand there while the two of them look at me as though I’ve committed some heinous crime instead of daring to fall in love with a boy, but their words don’t hit me like they used to. It’s like I’ve grown a layer of Teflon, and it just bounces right off me.
“We should never have moved back here to Evergreen,” Mum starts wailing, head in her hands.
“I can’t believe Alec would allow this under his roof,” Dad fumes. “My own brother.”
I just laugh again, the sound bitter and twisted. “And this is exactly why I haven’t told you and it’s why I’ll never bring Quinn home to this house. And you know what? I’m not even asking you to change your values. I know how pointless that would be. I’m not asking you to accept us loving each other or to go out and celebrate pride month with us. I’m not even asking you to acknowledge our relationship. All I’m asking for is your tolerance. That’s a pretty low bar to ask of my own parents but if it’s something you can’t give me then let me know. Because Uncle Alec has offered me a room to stay if having a gay son is something the two of you can’t deal with.”
This little piece of information seems to stem the tide of anger as shock returns as the defining emotion. And satisfied with that, I turn and leave the room.
CHAPTER 26
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I’m feeling a lot less bolshy as I lie in bed later that night after my showdown with my parents. Just me, lying here all by myself, my world imploded. All I want is Quinn, but I know that is a futile wish right now.
I can still hear them talking in harsh whispered tones in the living room, only the occasional snippet audible to my ears. None of it complimentary. I’m guessing there is a lot of blaming and questioning going on out there about where they failed in their parenting of me.
I wish I could make them understand that this has nothing to do with them. That I didn’t suddenly decide to act on what my deepest instincts were driving me towards just out of spite to them. No, I just happened to fall in love with a boy who attracted me in ways I was no longer prepared to ignore. That I shouldn’t have ever had to ignore.
I don’t know how but I eventually must fall asleep because next thing I’m aware of is the soft morning light shining through the gap in my curtains. My stomach clenches with memories of last night, the horrible ending to what had been the best weekend of my life—winning the basketball championship, sex with Quinn.
SayingI love youand hearing the same words echoed back.
I peek out of my bedroom door, ensuring the coast is clear before I hotfoot it to the bathroom for a shower. I have no intention of seeing my parents this morning if I can help it, even if it means skipping breakfast.
