Page 33 of Fast Break
“Like, I’m going to want to let my fingers trail down to your jeans button,” Quinn tells me, illustrating his point with his hand. But he stops on my button, going no further. “And then I’ll want to drag your zip down so that I can slip my hand down your pants and touch you. But that’s not going to be enough for me because I know once I touch you, I’ll want to suck you too.”
I’m pretty sure I’ve stopped breathing, heart rate stuttering as the desire flooding my body renders me speechless. I want that too. I want it so bad but I don’t have the words to say anything.
Quinn smiles softly down at me, smoothing my curls from my forehead. “But I have a feeling this is your first time kissing a guy.” He says it like a question and it’s all I can do to nod. “And I’m guessing if you haven’t kissed a guy, you probably haven’t done anything more either.”
I don’t know if he needs my confirmation, but I nod again anyway. Quinn traces my jaw with his finger. I lean into his touch. “And I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess you also haven’t done anything like that with a girl either?”
I hesitate this time, not quite sure what he wants to hear. “Does that matter?” I ask, voice gone quiet.
“No, of course not,” he assures me. “But it does mean I’m going to hit the pause button—”
“But—”
“Just the pause button, JT,” Quinn quirks a smile, pressing his finger to my lips. “We can hit play again later, but I need to cool it down right now. You’ve, ah, got me a little hot over here.”
I feel so immeasurably pleased that I have affected Quinn the same way he has affected me that I agree. “Okay. Tomorrow then? Will you kiss me tomorrow?”
Quinn’s smile hits his eyes as he looks down at me, eyes skating over my body. “I promise I’ll kiss you tomorrow.”
Okay. I can live with that. Quinn promised he’d kiss me again tomorrow and believe me, I plan on taking him up on that.
But as I lay there on the sofa, just me, beside beautiful, perfect, Quinn, my heart still galloping at a thunderous pace and heat still throbbing and swelling in my veins, clarity hits me like a slap in the face. I know I am done overthinking this. I like him. I like Quinn. I like his body—all of it, especially the most masculine parts of him. I want to kiss Quinn. I want his hands on me. I want to touch him back. I don’t want or need to microanalyse my thoughts and emotions anymore.
I like a boy. I want to be with a boy. The time for thinking is through. Now it’s time for action.
CHAPTER 13
quinn
Clearly, I had made a big miscalculation. Asking JT to stay the night had been a spur of the moment decision, driven by a certain body part that can still feel the phantom touches of where his head had rested in my lap during last night’s movie.
But that wasbeforehe kissed me.
And it was certainly before I had pressed him down onto the sofa and gone out of my head with want. Because let me just say that I have never wanted anyone the way I wanted JT last night. Feeling him beneath me on the sofa. Letting my hands finally touch that incredible body I have long been dreaming of. Getting to kiss him, stroke his tongue. Wondering if I’d made the biggest mistake of my life in stopping things last night.
I was a fraction of a second away from losing all control. I had neverwantedso much as I had wanted last night. And JT, well, he had certainly taken me by surprise, but he was clearly as into it as I had been. His body had responded to me in the best way possible and now, well, now I am certainly paying the consequences.
Because then, after that most mind-blowing kiss of my entire damn existence, I’d had to walk upstairs with endorphins still raging in my system and climb into bed beside the hottest, sweetest guy I’d ever been with. And lay there beside him, not touching, not kissing, not giving in to my deepest desires and needs.
It was the challenge of a lifetime to keep things under control when I had long since lost any claim to it.
The sun has just started lighting up the sky and I am still up inside my head. I’m antsy and achy, have been since JT fell asleep on the sofa last night and ended up with his head in my lap. He was all I could think about, the movie just white noise as my hands threaded his soft locks and he breathed gently in my lap.
Maybe I should have just taken him home last night because as much as I loved kissing him, it has been absolute torture lying here next to him all night.
He shifts in his sleep and my eyes drop to him, lying peacefully beside me. He sleeps on his stomach and my eyes drift to his back, his broad shoulders and cut of his muscles obvious even under his t-shirt.
His body is spectacular. I know he’s fit and I know he works out a lot but damn, my boy is something to behold. Everything about him is just so fine—including the parts I have yet to see. But I felt him last night, while we kissed, how much I turned him on. That memory is going to live rent free in my head for a long time to come.
I sigh and close my eyes and somehow manage to drift off. When I wake again, the time is past nine o’clock. I stifle a groan, eyes tracking to JT who is still sleeping peacefully. I watch him for a few moments but I don’t trust myself, so I slip out of bed and beeline for the ensuite.
I need a shower. I need to cool myself down and I need a break from sleeping beside JT. I stay under the water for longer than normal, setting the temperature to run a little cooler as I wrap my hand around myself and try to take the edge off.
The relief is immeasurable, and I think it finally does the trick. That is until I open the door to my bedroom and find JT’s green eyes on me.
My towel is wrapped around my waist but JT doesn’t hide the way his eyes dip down my chest. I suppose we’ve both been pretending for a while and there doesn’t seem much point in hiding anymore. Not after last night. It seems as though JT has finally given himself permission to look back as his gaze drops lower still.
I open my mouth to tease him but close it instead. I don’t think we’re quite there yet so I silently step towards my robe. I pull on my boxers before dropping the towel. Then I dress in jeans and a t-shirt before I turn to face the boy and his big green eyes. Sure enough, he’s watching me, his teeth sunk into his bottom lip and I curse under my breath. He is going to kill me.
