Page 24 of Meet You Half Way
“Um first boyfriend,” I clarified. “Definitely not my first guy.”
“So what, just casual hookups before him then?”
I cleared my throat. “I don’t even know if I’d call them casual hookups,” I admitted. “I lost my virginity at the age of seventeen crushed up against rough bricks at the back of a gay club. That about sums up my sex life before Nick.”
“Really?” he asked. I didn’t fail to note the cloud that passed over his eyes at that news but I didn’t know why. I was sure I wasn’t the first guy who had lost their virginity that way and I was sure I wouldn’t be the last. “Was it at least good for you?”
“Not particularly,” I shrugged. “The guy was much older and probably way too big for my first time but I had no way of knowing that at the time. He also didn’t prep me or anything but so what? I was desperate to know what it was like and that was what I got.”
“Mateo,” he sighed.
“Don’t pity me. I don’t feel sorry for me so you shouldn’t either.”
“Okay. I won’t feel sorry for you.”
“Then get that pity out of your eyes,” I said, leaning over to kiss his mouth. I didn’t like the way he was looking at me right then and I knew a kiss would be the best distraction for him. It worked to perfection and within no time at all I was lying on topof him, grinding against him as his tongue plundered my mouth and his hands gripped my ass, hoping we could rally fast enough to squeeze in another round before the call of the office could no longer be avoided.
CHAPTER 10
Jamie
So that had not really worked. I had just dropped Mateo back off where he’d left his car in Ives Inlet and had watched him drive away back to work. What was I doing with this guy? And why couldn’t I just let him go?
This was not me. I did not do casual hookups, especially with emotionally unavailable guys, but I think I might have been becoming addicted to Mateo. To that incredible body that had looked so glorious spread out on my bed, olive skin and ashy blonde hair for days as I had ploughed him. Twice. I wasn’t sure how I’d managed to recover so fast for a second round but that was all down to Mateo too.
He was intoxicating. An addiction.
The one guy who I feared had the power to bring me to my knees.
However, I was no longer wallowing in self-pity about yesterday so maybe it had worked. That was why I’d texted him in the first place, right? To get out of my head for a bit. And Mateo sure was good at doing that. He was such a complex guy, a mixture of outward perfection and inward self-loathing, a guy who didn’t care how his body was treated by others but who wasstill hooked on the only man who had probably ever treated him right.
Maybe that was Nick’s allure for him, the fact he’d actually cared about Mateo. Not just his body but his heart and mind too.
I was making big assumptions there. I didn’t know a thing about Mateo’s relationship with Nick but I had met the guy and he seemed like a really decent human being. So maybe that’s what it was.
In which case, what did I do about that? Could I transfer Mateo’s affections my way with kindness and care? And did I even want them? Life with Mateo would not be easy. It took a lot of prodding and poking to get him to come out and play but it always seemed worth it when he did. He was also hiding so deep in the closet I could hardly see him for all the fear and internalised hangups and I really wasn’t sure if I wanted to get myself tangled up with that.
Was he worth it? Rob had told me so while also gently warning me it wouldn’t be an easy path. But the more I thought about Mateo, whose last name Istilldid not know, not just those outward looks that would bring any mortal to their knees, but his quirky sense of humour, the way he actually seemed to care when I’d told him about my day, about the fact that he maybe even wanted to be chased, wanted someone to care enough to fight for him.
Well, then, maybe he would be worth it after all.
Bill invited me around to his place for dinner later that day. By the time I rocked up just before six I was grateful for it. Hewas the only one who truly knew what it was like to be in my shoes. He had been there in the back of the ambulance with me yesterday when we’d fought to revive the guy on the bed and he knew how we both were feeling.
“Jamie, how are you?” Kelly asked as I stepped into their home. Bill lived inland from the coast on a little property with his beautiful wife, Kelly, their two adorable but exuberant kids and a crazy Golden Retriever named Bella. Their house was always mildly chaotic and therefore, one of the best places to be if you needed to escape your head for a bit.
“Bill’s out on the back verandah grilling steaks,” Kelly continued after I’d returned her hug.
“Jam!” came the war cry that actually sounded more likeYambefore I was nearly bowled over by cyclone Cooper as his little two-year-old legs powered down the hallway at me.
“How’s my little mate, Coopy!” I enthused back, picking up the squealing toddler and tossing him over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. His peals of laughter followed me all the way through the house to where Bill was indeed standing on the back verandah grilling steaks. “I found this little cyclone in your house, Bill. I thought he should be outside with the dogs where he belongs.”
I whizzed Cooper to the ground, twisting him around a couple of times until I set him on his wobbly feet. He instantly ran off to play with Bella while Bill watched him with a smile on his face.
“You look like you’re in a good mood,” Bill commented as he passed me a beer from the outside fridge.
“Do I?”
“Yeah. You do,” he said pointedly, staring at me long enough to have me shuffling on my feet. “Wouldn’t have anything to do with your young Italian?”
