Page 66 of Meet You Half Way
“Isn’t being pretty enough?” I chuffed. “You also have to be a genius?”
“Nothing wrong with being both,” Ryan winked, and I could only laugh again as a sense of rightness and relief crossed over me as something settled deep within.
Yes, I loved Jamie. That weirdness, that unsettled feeling, that sense of loss and grief I’d felt over the past few days at the thought of having lost him made it seem so obvious that I was ashamed it had taken me so long to get here. But I also had a growing sense inside me that maybe I shouldn’t be ashamed. Because I also had another sense that maybe this was the first time I’d felt this way before. Maybe I had mistaken love for something else in the past but I knew what it was now, now that I’d finally had it and maybe lost it.
I just had to get through today, get through another night in Sydney and then race back down the coast to find Jamie before it was too late for us. At least, that was what I rested my hopes on, that I hadn’t messed things up so badly that he was gone forever.
CHAPTER 26
mateo
The photoshoot had gone late into the night so I’d missed going out to dinner with the boys and had collapsed into bed before they were even home. So much for a weekend away with my friends. I’d seen them for all of five minutes.
I still had a lot to think about, plenty of thoughts running through my mind but I was exhausted and had no trouble falling into a deep sleep.
I slept in late the next morning but I couldn’t hear anything from the other side of the door as I slowly made my way out to the living room. I heard another door opening at the same time and glanced up in alarm to see Ajay stepping out of his room in just a pair of loose boxers, his curls mussed from sleep. I saw the matching alarm flicker over his face as we both glanced around to find no sign of Rob or Nick. Had they really left me here alone with Ajay? And had Nick really left Ajay alone to deal with me? I wasn’t sure which was worse.
“Morning,” I said, scrambling to make this less awkward than it already was.
“Morning,” Ajay replied. “Any idea where the guys are?”
“No clue,” I said as I followed him to the kitchen where we found a note hastily written in Nick’s messy scrawl telling us that he and Rob had gone to get breakfast for everyone.
“Well. That was nice of them,” Ajay muttered in a tone which made me think Nick might be getting an earful of his boyfriend’s thoughts when he came back home. Hopefully soon. Ajay glanced at me uncertainly, hand rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. He really was cute and I was starting to see why Nick had fallen so hard and so fast for him. Not that I was any threat. Ajay would never be my type but I could still appreciate a cute guy when I saw one.
“Coffee?” he asked and I felt a smile tug at my lips.
“Please,” I said. He moved to the coffee machine on the back bench of the kitchen, a fancy one from the looks of it as he poured fresh coffee beans into the grinder and hit the grind button.
“You look like you know your way around a coffee machine,” I mentioned, if only for words to fill the space between us.
Ajay smiled. “I’ve been working as a part-time barista for over a year so I hope I know what I’m doing by now.”
“As long as you don’t let Nick …” I started to say before pulling up short. I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to be talking about Nick like that with his boyfriend. Knowing that he knew about my past with Nick. I felt Ajay’s eyes on me, an appraising glint to them.
“As long as I don’t let Nick near the coffee machine?” he guessed with a laugh. “Don’t worry about that. It actually belongs to Dane and he won’t let Nick within ten feet of it.”
I laughed, the sound so foreign I could see the momentary confusion flit across Ajay’s face. “Probably for the best. Guy’s a great surfer but should seriously not be allowed near a coffee machine,” I hedged, hoping we could share this very mild quirk about the man we had both possibly loved.
“So impatient,” Ajay agreed, lips quirked in a smile. “It’s like he thinks the coffee beans are going to expire before he lets them do their thing.”
“Yep,” I laughed. “I’m lucky I take my coffee black but Rob’s always rolling his eyes when Nick just throws the milk in the microwave because he can’t be bothered holding it for the steam wand.”
“Oh, the microwaved milk,” Ajay laughed right along with me. We shared a smile, realised how awkward it still was and then promptly looked away. I waited as Ajay patiently tamped down the ground coffee beans and then ran it through the machine, finally setting down a perfect looking espresso in front of me.
“Oh that’s good,” I said enthusiastically, taking a long sip and savouring the flavour with my eyes closed. I could see Ajay’s pleased expression at my praise as he finished making himself a coffee. He stood with his cup in hand and his back against the kitchen cabinet, both of us clearly at another loss about how to move through this freshly established détente.
“How was your photoshoot yesterday?” Ajay asked, clearly grappling for some point of common ground.
“It was good actually,” I told him. “It was for this relatively new brand called DNR. They’re actually an offshoot of a big fashion house so they had a healthy budget behind them. Pretty edgy clothes and a really fun shoot.”
“Oh I’ve heard of them,” Ajay perked up. “I’ve seen a few guys wearing their clothes on campus. Always liked the look of them but they’re way outside my current budget.”
“I have a couple bags of samples in my room if you’d like,” I said, mouth working before my mind shifted into gear. Would Ajay even want something like that from me? From the guy who had been nothing but an asshole to him when he was nothing but rainbows and unicorns.
“Really?” he asked, not hiding the interest in his eyes.
“Yeah. You would be about the same size as me, right?” I said, sizing him up. “I always walk away with so many clothes from shoots I honestly don’t have any more room in my closet. And Rob and Nick are way too broad in the shoulders to fit the sample sizes.”
