Page 67 of Meet You in the Waves
“Howdidyou find me?”
“I just took a guess really. Everyone walks to Caves Arches.” I just smiled at that, so glad he had found me when I thought Iwanted to just disappear. “Want to come home with me, baby? Let me take care of you?”
“Yeah. Take me home, Nicky,” I said, smiling at him as he looked back at me, heart a little full in my chest as his emotions reflected in his eyes.
Feelings.
They really were having quite a field day with me today. And I was the first to admit I wasn’t quite sure how to fit everything I was feeling inside of me.
CHAPTER 22
nick
Making love, I was discovering, was an entirely different ball game than normal, regular sex. Even sex as good as everything Ajay had given me. Yes, it ended with the same reciprocal happy endings and the same blissed out feelings. But there was really no comparison in the way Ajay was looking up at me, those enormous, big brown eyes fixed on mine, piercing me with their intensity and emotions and depth and trust as I moved inside him, like his body was made to fit mine.
There was just no comparison when words and feelings had been shared, when we’d made this little deal between us into athing. A thing that was real.
I had a feeling thisthingbetween us was a hell of a lot bigger than either of us were rightfully prepared to admit. Hell, half of me was terrified of all the emotions that were currently pouring through me, that had been pouring through me since I had woken up this morning and found Mateo wrapped around me when I should have woken up with my brown eyed boy.
That was the first sense of wrongness I had felt. The other sense of wrongness came when I realised Ajay was not upstairs in his room. It almost broke me when I realised he was also notout on the waves like I half expected, his surfboard leaning up against the boat shed beside mine.
Only half expected because I knew he would have seen me on the sofa with Mateo when he came downstairs looking for me. And I was furious at myself for letting that happen, for having not foreseen that Mateo and I would have fallen asleep together the way we had done a hundred times before.
It was just that, well, things were different now and I had somebody else to consider, somebody else’s feelings who were intertwined with my own. Somebody else’s feelings who were entirely valid and quite possibly higher in priority and importance to me than even my own.
And then he hadn’t answered my calls and I felt my entire world slide out from under me. It wasn’t supposed to get this messy this quickly between us. There wasn’t supposed to be this level of feelings and emotions so soon. Such deep …like.
But there was and I knew I had to deal with it, had to find Ajay and set to rights something that was too good to lose. Too good to walk away from. And he’d been so sad, so upset and so jealous. And soresigned. Part of me had revelled in the fact he liked me enough to feel jealous of me and Mateo but I’d known better than to throw that in his face. Not while he was looking at me as though his whole world had been turned upside down. Just like mine had been.
And now, with his gorgeous body underneath me, slotted perfectly with mine, me so deep inside him I wasn’t sure I’d ever want to leave again, everything just felt so good, and so right, and so very, very real.
“Oh, Nicky,” he breathed and I just bottled that sound up inside me, wanting to hear my name on his tongue as he panted and moaned underneath me, my name a prayer.
“Ajay,” I rasped as he arched underneath me and then spilled all over my hand as I pumped him through his orgasm. Iwatched his face the entire time, so sweet and precious and beautiful, this boy with the face of an angel.
I was not done with him yet, wasn’t sure I ever would be as I thrust harder and deeper and chased those breathy moans until I couldn’t stave it off any longer. I followed him over the edge, pulsing and throbbing inside him until I had nothing left in me.
Only then did I collapse on him, a boneless, mindless mess of emotions and relief that this boy was mine. That I hadn’t lost him this morning when I thought he might have walked away from me. I wouldn’t have even blamed him if he had.
“Stay,” Ajay murmured, his legs wrapped around my waist, me still lost inside him.
“I have no intention of going anywhere,” I assured him, pressing a soft kiss to his neck.
Things shifted again for us after yesterday morning. The headiness of the first days of almost desperate, mindless lust had shifted into something sweeter, more meaningful. Sometimes a little calmer, though not always. Things still escalated between us like a match to a field of dry wheat, always ready to set fire at the barest of touches.
But there were also moments like the one that morning, where it was impossible to hide from each other what we were feeling. Where those depthless brown eyes of his held me captive and told me in a million different ways how he was feeling.
I was in so much trouble it was not even funny.
I was also in no hurry to share him with anyone else, not even my best friends. Of course, there might have been other reasons why that was going to be difficult but I couldn’t dwell on my issues with Mateo right now.
I just wanted to revel in having Ajay to myself, so deep inlikewith each other. I was also vaguely aware of the big fat clock ticking somewhere at the back of my mind, letting me know with each passing sunset that time was moving in to swallow up our summer together.
But that was tomorrow’s problem.
Today’s problem was the fact that Rob and Mateo had rocked up again. Uninvited, again. I was sure they had thought I was crazy when I’d run through the house yesterday morning looking for Ajay before turfing them out before they’d even finished their coffees.
I didn’t have enough fucks to give about what they thought of my state of mind yesterday.
